Reply to: "We don't develop contractors"

[Mich the Tester]

You have to love people and processes that hinder and slow you up.

First thing when you hit the ground is get as much system access and find as much documentation.

On my second day, the PM cut my access to blablabla

You mean you had access to stuff on your second day of invoicing?

You incompetent little man; you should be able to stretch it out to at least 2 weeks before you can do anything other than use your own mobile internet for CUK and pron.

[MarillionFan]

You have to love people and processes that hinder and slow you up.

First thing when you hit the ground is get as much system access and find as much documentation.

On my second day, the PM cut my access to the shared folders and stated I didn't need access to the database or application for the software they wanted to create a datawarehouse for!

Six weeks down the line, he asks me if it has conformed dimensions with the other datawarehouse and how quickly the dimensions will change based on the source system!!!

Funnily I got access the next day.

[Paddy]

USB sticks will not read on these machines, the Google site is banned by the proxy server and you cannot look at online PDFs.

Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

SD Cards? VPN? Logmein.com?

[Saddo]

Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

Now why didn't I think of that? Rusky agents trained to repeat the message "say what you do, do what you say" endlessly. Probably cheaper and easier than supplying and using argon lamps.

[Saddo]

Yep, part of the contractor's survival guide is a USB stick full of PDF's and e-books. Then you don't have to bother about the whingers.

Well you wouldn't survive very long in the defence industry. USB sticks, laptops, cameras etc have a tendency to be banned. There is a certain well-known software defence contractor that lost a USB stick in a pub car park and also managed to lose a hard drive containing zillions of unencrypted personal details. And you get frisked and scanned going in and out of their place. You get caught putting a USB stick anywhere near their PC's and it's a hand on the collar and frog-march out the door by a security guard.

Oddly enough you can take your mobile phone in, and these days mobile phones have cameras (and even storage) built in. So you could feasibly get away with a smartphone which has PDF file support (totally unusable but there you go). But don't get caught snapping piccies with your phone or the security guard comes out of the cupboard and takes you to the nearest exit.

And I think it also implies that your security clearance is black-flagged, meaning you've just lost an income stream.

[doodab]

Thanks! Never heard of them before, but this looks like a great deal. Although it seems you need to pay $99 for membership and another $99 for library access - but it still seems cheap for what you get.

Safari, Books 24x7 & the courses are included in the basic membership. The digital library access is an extra thing that allows access to the full text of all their journals, magazines, conference proceedings and so on. There is a lot of stuff in there.

[Pondlife]

Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

I reckon those chaps Sarbanes and Oxley were on the payroll too.

[Mich the Tester]

quite,

hinderences are great and put food on the table

if the current client didn't have such very well designed processes and procedures for everything from ordering a pencil sharpner to opening a firewall port i'd have been out of
here years ago

more of it I say

Milan.

Yep. Although I harbour a suspicion that ISO 9001 is actually a KGB plot to destroy capitalism from within.

[matzie]

Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.

Thanks! Never heard of them before, but this looks like a great deal. Although it seems you need to pay $99 for membership and another $99 for library access - but it still seems cheap for what you get.

[milanbenes]

quite,

hinderences are great and put food on the table

if the current client didn't have such very well designed processes and procedures for everything from ordering a pencil sharpner to opening a firewall port i'd have been out of
here years ago

more of it I say

Milan.

[doodab]

You could get a kindle or somesuch.

[Mich the Tester]

Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

Life could be worse; you could be a permie or a bob, hired for bottom dollar and then hindered in doing your work.

[minestrone]

USB sticks will not read on these machines, the Google site is banned by the proxy server and you cannot look at online PDFs.

Don't really care to be honest, it's just the way they hire you for top dollar and then hinder your work.

[SupremeSpod]

Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.

Does the aforementioned magazine contain pictures of the lovely Monica?

[doodab]

Join the ACM. You get safari and books 24x7 for your $99 a year as well as online courses and a nice magazine.