Originally posted by gricerboy
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Reply to: tomorrow
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Previously on "tomorrow"
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Originally posted by Boudica View Postgoing to meet my OH who has just travelled a long long way on the trans-siberian, we spoke for the first time in two weeks the other night and I'm thinking this might not be a great relationship if he spends his holidays doing this rather than something with me.... most men I know buy holidays for both when they can, mine goes where he likes and sometimes includes me but not always
are there any, <cough> night clubs along that journey ?
Milan.
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thanks everyone, sorry for being a bedwetter, we met up in paris today and all is well. i was feeling a bit low when i wrote that and in all fairness he is very reasonable i have done loads on my own and i've been a fulltime student for the last two years and he doesn't bat an eyelid about that
ps glad the thread reached the dizzy heights of kwality cuk handbagging
pps AtW I have never been on a plane for a week, it just feels like it
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Originally posted by OwlHoot View PostNature has a wonderful knack of denying us the things we don't want, such as a surprise birthday party for 200 or, in your case, a partner.Originally posted by zeitghostDamn.
It's done that to me too, the git.
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Originally posted by gricerboy View Post
Quite. I often go off with my barber shop quartet for whole weekends when we are gigging away from home. I wouldn't want a partner who has the green eyed monster just because we get up to bags of 'tag' dances and 'Musical Knees' and Bigamy games.
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I often go off travelling by myself, Mr N was permie so didn't have the holidays to b*gger orf for a month at a time.
Admittedly I'd try and do summat with the two of us as well.
You need to discuss this with your OH.
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In a loving and understanding relationship both parties should be allowed to have their spare time to indulge in their spirit of adventure. To see and try new things before they get to old.
So say that to him before going down to Marks to get your bikini bottoms (tell him you won't need the tops in the places you will be going) before booking 2 weeks in Barbados.
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Originally posted by lukemg View PostWell, ok, maybe a snap judgement of the situation based on very few facts but seen a lot of blokes turned into people they don’t want to be with eventual bad consequences for kids etc.
Yes there are a fair few blokes who go over the top on the control side (always due to insecurity) but the old adage that – Upon getting married - A woman expects a bloke to change and he doesn’t, wheras the man doesn’t expect the woman to change – and she does, rings pretty true to me.
Women usually have a capacity for change and expect to do so over time. This is much reduced for a bloke, even if he can be ’tamed’, he might even start thinking it is his idea – For a while.
Point is – Forget the work in progress, if only he would change rubbish, find one who shares your own views or wants to devote his life to ’making you happy’ – I guarantee you will find the level of attention stifling and painfully dull very quickly.
Sorry to say it girls but you kind of need to feel that slight edge to maintain interest !
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Well, ok, maybe a snap judgement of the situation based on very few facts but seen a lot of blokes turned into people they don’t want to be with eventual bad consequences for kids etc.
Yes there are a fair few blokes who go over the top on the control side (always due to insecurity) but the old adage that – Upon getting married - A woman expects a bloke to change and he doesn’t, wheras the man doesn’t expect the woman to change – and she does, rings pretty true to me.
Women usually have a capacity for change and expect to do so over time. This is much reduced for a bloke, even if he can be ’tamed’, he might even start thinking it is his idea – For a while.
Point is – Forget the work in progress, if only he would change rubbish, find one who shares your own views or wants to devote his life to ’making you happy’ – I guarantee you will find the level of attention stifling and painfully dull very quickly.
Sorry to say it girls but you kind of need to feel that slight edge to maintain interest !
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Originally posted by Gibbon View PostI go on trips on my own, mostly Rome which my OH frequently pays for. I wouldn't worry about it if everything else is fine with your relationship. Some people just need some time on their own every so often.
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Originally posted by Boudica View Postgoing to meet my OH who has just travelled a long long way on the trans-siberian, we spoke for the first time in two weeks the other night and I'm thinking this might not be a great relationship if he spends his holidays doing this rather than something with me.... most men I know buy holidays for both when they can, mine goes where he likes and sometimes includes me but not always
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Originally posted by lukemg View PostStart subtley to apply pressure and disappointment at his next travel plans and make sure you show as little interest as possible in his tales of travel.
Make sure that you reward him with a pleasant attitude when he is doing what you want and the reverse when he doesn't. Make sure to talk to your friends and family to validate what you are doing and convince you that you are right and he is a selfish pig who needs 'to change'. Once you have squeezed all that nasty 'wanting to do what makes him happy' stuff out of him, sack him off for being 'not the man I thought he was'.....Contact friends to confirm you were right.
I hope he realises first and bails....
If both parties are happy with the arrangement then all is well and balanced. If one party is unhappy then the relationship is unbalanced and all is not well.
It's just a question of yin and yang.
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Originally posted by lukemg View PostStart subtley to apply pressure and disappointment at his next travel plans and make sure you show as little interest as possible in his tales of travel.
Make sure that you reward him with a pleasant attitude when he is doing what you want and the reverse when he doesn't. Make sure to talk to your friends and family to validate what you are doing and convince you that you are right and he is a selfish pig who needs 'to change'. Once you have squeezed all that nasty 'wanting to do what makes him happy' stuff out of him, sack him off for being 'not the man I thought he was'.....Contact friends to confirm you were right.
I hope he realises first and bails....
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