Reply to: Agents, I love them...

[alreadypacked]

Agents may be illiterate useless vultures, but HR depts are not any better. They use agents because they don't want to read 100's of C.V organize interviews, etc.

In fact some HR depts will only take 2 - 4 CV's from an agent for a role.

[markinbrussels]

I've been thinking for a while how to bypass those
illiterate useless vultures.

In the same way that websites like zillow.com are undermining
the business of real state agents, a proper website that
directly matched clients and contractors would force agents
to redefine their business practices (if they have any other
than copy&paste the ads provided by the client).

The website should be run by a respectable professional organization
run by contractors, maybe linked to the BCS. To become a member of
the organization you would need a college degree, 2 years in
contracting and at least 50 posts in CUK. The client would post
the opening, and the contractor would reply with the CV. It's then
up to the client to organize interviews, etc. Once a contract is
signed, the website would get a small fee to be paid 50-50
between client and contractor (let's say 300 quid).

This system would improve efficiency and cut the fat out of the
meat. Agents, bah, salesmen bring no added value to the deal
between client and contractor.

[norrahe]

I think I spoke to them, too.

I hope you messed with their heads, I certainly had fun

[MaryPoppins]

Well I had someone ring me about Solvency 2 roles, only to demonstrate his complete an utter ignorance of what it is.

And he also didn't know what "Lloyd's of London" is either...

Apparently he's the recruitment "expert" for the insurance sector.

I rest my case.

I think I spoke to them, too.

[darmstadt]

Today's beauty (the agent had a rare old name as well)

Drug Safety Physician – xxxxxxx - Freelancer

If this project is not relevant to you, feel free to forward this message to someone who might be.

Our client is looking for an experience Drug Safety Physician to support his team effectively.
Tasks:

• Contributes to the organisation and maintenance of the drug safety system (including global database for collection of the adverse events and standardised procedures)
• Medical support of clinical trials and post-marketing products
• Create relevant reports
• Literature Research
• Safety Signal Detection and ICRS
• Update of the Company Core Safety Information
• Assessment and review of SAEs/ AEs

Qualifications:
• Preferred a degree as a medical doctor but holder of a degree in pharmacy or natural science is possible
• A minimum of 2 years experience in the field of Drug Safety/Pharmacovigilance
• Sound knowledge of EMEA Guidelines
• English proficient/fluent, French or German are of a benefit
Start:
• Asap

Yep, got all that and COBOL too

[norrahe]

Nah, not all of them are actually but recently things have been going downhill pretty badly. I had a conversation with one this week and I had to explain to him all the TLAs for the position and what it would entail work wise, basically telling him what he should be telling me! Its not so much that but the mails that are sent with no disregard as to their content in relation to your skills. Last week I received a number from one of the big agencies for positions with medical, clinical and health knowldege but with no mention of any IT skills, WTF! Not only are they wasting me time (well, it takes me a couple of minutes to read it and then hit the delete key although I do reply to some) but its also wasting their time and resources. If they knew how to do their jobs properly and efficiently then I'm sure people would be more appreciative, not only us but also the client and not forgetting doing this type of crap is costing their company time = money and getting them a bad reputation into the equation. Perhaps instead of replying to the agent I should also find out some senior management and CC them so they can see why their company is thought of as lower than a reformed paedophile...

Well I had someone ring me about Solvency 2 roles, only to demonstrate his complete an utter ignorance of what it is.

And he also didn't know what "Lloyd's of London" is either...

Apparently he's the recruitment "expert" for the insurance sector.

I rest my case.

[markinbrussels]

Agent = the only idiot around with a black suit, a black BMW and a Blackberry.

[Mich the Tester]

Honest I really do...I presume that its a really easy job (which will now be my next career move) in that they don't even read CVs now. Nearly every mail that I get now has a disclaimer such as:

"Only apply if you have this skill in your CV."

They've only said the skill has to be 'in your CV'; nobody says it has to be stored in your brain.

[Central-Scrutiniser]

There is only one way to assess how smart somebody is - and that is the amount of one's bank balance.

As they say in Texas - if you are so smart - how come you ain't Rich ?

[Tingles]

I seem...

to be getting emails from M*dis every week or so to 'Dear Morton'... I keep emailing that it's not my name - but still they come.

Not sure why?


T

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Boom time for me. I await their call

"Hello!
Jobrapido has found 9540 new jobs that match your profile.
Click the links below to view the jobs:"

[darmstadt]

they are clueless f*ckwits

Nah, not all of them are actually but recently things have been going downhill pretty badly. I had a conversation with one this week and I had to explain to him all the TLAs for the position and what it would entail work wise, basically telling him what he should be telling me! Its not so much that but the mails that are sent with no disregard as to their content in relation to your skills. Last week I received a number from one of the big agencies for positions with medical, clinical and health knowldege but with no mention of any IT skills, WTF! Not only are they wasting me time (well, it takes me a couple of minutes to read it and then hit the delete key although I do reply to some) but its also wasting their time and resources. If they knew how to do their jobs properly and efficiently then I'm sure people would be more appreciative, not only us but also the client and not forgetting doing this type of crap is costing their company time = money and getting them a bad reputation into the equation. Perhaps instead of replying to the agent I should also find out some senior management and CC them so they can see why their company is thought of as lower than a reformed paedophile...

[DodgyAgent]

they are clueless f*ckwits

[darmstadt]

Maybe I should reply:

Dear Mr. Bloody Agent,
thank you for your e-mail looking for a freelance consultant with SILK experience. Although this particular skill is not in my CV, of which I have sent yourself and your many collegues, numerous copies I do actually have years of experience in this particular field altough not really pertaining to the IT field. I probably first came across SILK whar I was around 18-19 and wanted something a little bit different in my life. I opted for both the BLUE and the BLACK versions for a few years but the caretaking of them with my other durables proved to be too much and this particular skill fell to the wayside.

A few years later I came across the combination of COTTON and SILK which proved much more to my liking and I continued to use this variation for many years. Recently I have been toying with only using pure SILK again but have yet to find a situation to actually use it. Your position maybe the one I am looking for. I do have some questions though:

- there will be no artifical SILK such as NYLON or RAYON?
- will I be expected to start the project at the LARVAE stage or will it only be using the finished product? I'm afraid I have only a passing knowledge of the early stages such as LARVAE, HARVEST and WEAVE
- is the project an onshore project or will I be dealing with outsourced SILK suppliers such as those in India or China?

As you are well aware, SILK is quite a specialised skill and therefore requires suitable remuneration which we can discuss when you call me.

Thanks

Darmstadt

p.s. If you're a female agent I have some special SILK projects which I have kept under wraps for a few years which we can also discuss

[Boudica]

YouTube - ‪Mose Allison - Your Mind Is On Vacation‬‎

This song always reminds me of them there agents.

'if talk was criminal you'd lead a life of crime'