Agents, I love them...

**The Central Scrutinizer** · 10 August 2010, 18:45

Originally posted by darmstadt View Post

Honest I really do...I presume that its a really easy job (which will now be my next career move) in that they don't even read CVs now. Nearly every mail that I get now has a disclaimer such as:

"Only apply if you have this skill in your CV."

I reckon I could do that, sorted. In fact maybe I should do the reverse. Send them an e-mail saying that I'm looking for a contract and if they have anything on their books with my skillset then let me know, but not attach a CV, as they don't seem to ******* read them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again they are clueless f*ckwits. if all else fails become a recruiter or an estate agent and then go into politics. You have friends on here.

**Boudica** · 10 August 2010, 19:21

YouTube - ‪Mose Allison - Your Mind Is On Vacation‬&lrm;

This song always reminds me of them there agents.

'if talk was criminal you'd lead a life of crime'

**darmstadt** · 10 August 2010, 19:44

Maybe I should reply:

Dear Mr. Bloody Agent,
thank you for your e-mail looking for a freelance consultant with SILK experience. Although this particular skill is not in my CV, of which I have sent yourself and your many collegues, numerous copies I do actually have years of experience in this particular field altough not really pertaining to the IT field. I probably first came across SILK whar I was around 18-19 and wanted something a little bit different in my life. I opted for both the BLUE and the BLACK versions for a few years but the caretaking of them with my other durables proved to be too much and this particular skill fell to the wayside.

A few years later I came across the combination of COTTON and SILK which proved much more to my liking and I continued to use this variation for many years. Recently I have been toying with only using pure SILK again but have yet to find a situation to actually use it. Your position maybe the one I am looking for. I do have some questions though:

- there will be no artifical SILK such as NYLON or RAYON?
- will I be expected to start the project at the LARVAE stage or will it only be using the finished product? I'm afraid I have only a passing knowledge of the early stages such as LARVAE, HARVEST and WEAVE
- is the project an onshore project or will I be dealing with outsourced SILK suppliers such as those in India or China?

As you are well aware, SILK is quite a specialised skill and therefore requires suitable remuneration which we can discuss when you call me.

Thanks

Darmstadt

p.s. If you're a female agent I have some special SILK projects which I have kept under wraps for a few years which we can also discuss

**DodgyAgent** · 10 August 2010, 20:26

they are clueless f*ckwits

**darmstadt** · 10 August 2010, 20:41

Originally posted by DodgyAgent View Post

they are clueless f*ckwits

Nah, not all of them are actually but recently things have been going downhill pretty badly. I had a conversation with one this week and I had to explain to him all the TLAs for the position and what it would entail work wise, basically telling him what he should be telling me! Its not so much that but the mails that are sent with no disregard as to their content in relation to your skills. Last week I received a number from one of the big agencies for positions with medical, clinical and health knowldege but with no mention of any IT skills, WTF! Not only are they wasting me time (well, it takes me a couple of minutes to read it and then hit the delete key although I do reply to some) but its also wasting their time and resources. If they knew how to do their jobs properly and efficiently then I'm sure people would be more appreciative, not only us but also the client and not forgetting doing this type of crap is costing their company time = money and getting them a bad reputation into the equation. Perhaps instead of replying to the agent I should also find out some senior management and CC them so they can see why their company is thought of as lower than a reformed paedophile...

**The Central Scrutinizer** · 10 August 2010, 20:46

Boom time for me. I await their call

"Hello!
Jobrapido has found 9540 new jobs that match your profile.
Click the links below to view the jobs:"

**Tingles** · 10 August 2010, 21:11

I seem...

to be getting emails from M*dis every week or so to 'Dear Morton'... I keep emailing that it's not my name - but still they come.

Not sure why?

T

**Central-Scrutiniser** · 11 August 2010, 13:48

There is only one way to assess how smart somebody is - and that is the amount of one's bank balance.

As they say in Texas - if you are so smart - how come you ain't Rich ?

**Mich the Tester** · 11 August 2010, 14:15

Originally posted by darmstadt View Post

Honest I really do...I presume that its a really easy job (which will now be my next career move) in that they don't even read CVs now. Nearly every mail that I get now has a disclaimer such as:

"Only apply if you have this skill in your CV."

They've only said the skill has to be 'in your CV'; nobody says it has to be stored in your brain.

Agents, I love them...