Passport renewal.

[Halo Jones]

Being certified isn't quite sane, is it?

FTFY

[TheFaQQer]

which is more than I can say for most of us here on CUK

Being certified isn't quite the same, is it?

[Spacecadet]

Where have I suggested passports be issued without checks!? Talk about absurd!

Why do you think you're asked for all of that information when you apply?
A lot of it is to make sure its a genuine application

Simply firing off an email to the passport authorities asking for a new passport isn't exactly secure

and your Pakistani doctor is a registered professional, which is more than I can say for most of us here on CUK

[DaveB]

It's been kicking around since at least 2008.

Google for "Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke" and at least the first hundred hits are verbatim copies of the OP's post.

[Jeebo72]

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.

I got this in my email 2 days ago, saying it was "an ausie passport renewal".

[fullyautomatix]

Where have I suggested passports be issued without checks!? Talk about absurd!

[BolshieBastard]

Any internet post claiming to have any info done by an "actual" whatever is usually 99% false and didn't "actually" happen.

Since when did you write to a minister with a passport renewal.

Try re reading it again, numpty! I'll give you a clue, near the beginning!

[BolshieBastard]

I had no point, but it seemed you wanted the governtment to issue passports to anybody who applied without any checks.

Where have I suggested passports be issued without checks!? Talk about absurd!

[Sockpuppet]

This was taken from an actual renewal;

Any internet post claiming to have any info done by an "actual" whatever is usually 99% false and didn't "actually" happen.

Since when did you write to a minister with a passport renewal.

[fullyautomatix]

What's yours!?

I had no point, but it seemed you wanted the governtment to issue passports to anybody who applied without any checks.

[BolshieBastard]

And your point is................

What's yours!?

[Churchill]

You do realise that the ID Card will be processed in India, don't you? Alongside the CRB stuff...

[fullyautomatix]

And your point is................

[Mich the Tester]

Some very valid points.

[BolshieBastard]

Wish I'd seen this before I fired off my missive to my MP regarding my ID Card 'application.'

This was taken from an actual renewal;

Dear Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and
telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back
in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every
Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I
have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am
watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the
government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.

Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one
with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on
my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and
masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead
on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you
and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address.

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at
my damn picture.

Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for
God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy
beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get
another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to
the tune of 60 quid!

What a racket THAT is!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.

You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads
cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the flaming
picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!

Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years
at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which
allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know,
someone like my doctor... who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.