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Previously on "Now this is REAL indicator that the Recession is coming to an end"

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  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    RC, how is the job hunting going?

    I really can't believe that you don't have a job.

    Your skillset PM yes? If I hear of anything I will PM you

    Leave a comment:


  • RichardCranium
    replied
    Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
    Perhaps that's what they do in Sheffield, or Leeds - but in London and Edinburgh, unemployment is an unpaid holiday.
    They must have posh unemployed in the capitals.

    Actually, round here, the unemployed (which seems to be most people) seem to just walk the streets pushing push chairs and making polite conversation. This takes two forms, the blokes and the slags.

    "Awwight Dave?"
    "I'm awwight. You awwight?"
    "Yeah."
    "Still training?"
    "Yeah. You?"
    "Nah. Give it up. You know."
    "Yeah. Shell awwight?"
    "Yeah, she's awwight."
    "See yer then."
    "Yeah, see yer."

    I hear that polite discourse replayed 10 or 20 times when I go into town to sign on. Then there's the other one:

    "Awwight Shell?"
    "Eh?"
    "You awwight?"
    "Wot ovvit?"
    "Jus' askin' like."
    "Well, don't, awwight?"
    "Awwight, no need to get all arsey like."
    "I'm not arsey, awwight?"
    "Awwight. How's Dave?"
    "Don't talk to me about that <gentleman>."
    "Still up to 'is old tricks?"
    "Never <copulating> stopped, did 'e?"
    "S'pose not. Gizza fag."
    "'Ere yar."
    "Ta. See ya."
    "Yeah. See ya."

    I think the slags are a bit harder than the blokes round here. They need to be to hold a fag, push a push chair laden with shopping (with a child underneath), drag one snotty nosed wailing kid and slap another whining kid round the head all at the same time. Whilst pregnant.

    The manufacturing industry of the Midlands is alive and well and making babies, and thereby generating wealth.

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    And he long long long term unemployed end up moving to Yorkshire...

    You're were lucky... we had a stay on the street we were that poor.

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    The long term unemployed do not sit in Wetherspoons drinking lager. They buy a two litre bottle of cheap lager and a two litre bottle of cider.

    The only cheaper way to get pissed quickly will also make you blind



    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    Whoever wrote that is away with the fairies in cloud cuckoo land.

    The unemployed do not buy newspapers; they read them in the Job Centre or the Library or the Job Club.

    The unemployed do not need to go to retail outlets to use their laptop. They use the terminals in the Job Centre, the PCs in the Library, the PCs in the Job Club or, most likely, their PC at home.

    The unemployed do not sit in coffee shops buying coffee. They sit in Wetherspoons drinking lager.
    Perhaps that's what they do in Sheffield, or Leeds - but in London and Edinburgh, unemployment is an unpaid holiday.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
    Whoever wrote that is away with the fairies in cloud cuckoo land.

    The unemployed do not buy newspapers; they read them in the Job Centre or the Library or the Job Club.

    The unemployed do not need to go to retail outlets to use their laptop. They use the terminals in the Job Centre, the PCs in the Library, the PCs in the Job Club or, most likely, their PC at home.

    The unemployed do not sit in coffee shops buying coffee. They sit in Wetherspoons drinking lager.
    That was almost akin to Brad Pitt dishing out the rules in Fight Club

    "First rule of Job Club, you don't talk about Job Club"

    Leave a comment:


  • RichardCranium
    replied
    Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
    I read somewhere they saw an increase in business as a direct result in the rise in unemployment. i.e. the unemployed would go along for a coffee while reading the jobs section of the paper or on there lappy.
    Whoever wrote that is away with the fairies in cloud cuckoo land.

    The unemployed do not buy newspapers; they read them in the Job Centre or the Library or the Job Club.

    The unemployed do not need to go to retail outlets to use their laptop. They use the terminals in the Job Centre, the PCs in the Library, the PCs in the Job Club or, most likely, their PC at home.

    The unemployed do not sit in coffee shops buying coffee. They sit in Wetherspoons drinking lager.

    Leave a comment:


  • Doggy Styles
    replied
    That's mostly the US isn't it?

    And as it's a well-known fact that the UK is in a far stronger position than anyone else to emerge from recession, because Gordon told us, boom times are a-rolling!

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    Originally posted by cojak View Post
    Cafe Nero for me...
    Have you tried the Milano hot chocolate? Calorific to the extreme divine to taste though, as is often the way.

    Leave a comment:


  • cojak
    replied
    Cafe Nero for me...

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    I read somewhere they saw an increase in business as a direct result in the rise in unemployment. i.e. the unemployed would go along for a coffee while reading the jobs section of the paper or on there lappy.

    So expect less profit next year as Mr Brown gets everyone in a job.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pogle
    replied
    Originally posted by AtW View Post
    "He admitted at the time that the company had opened too many branches, which had resulted in stores taking business from each other, and the company's upmarket brand image being tarnished."
    - yeah that and their coffee is tulipe - I wont touch it with a barge pole

    Leave a comment:


  • AtW
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Profits up by a huge cost cutting exercise and laying off lots of people.

    You can't raise profits like that forever.

    Hence why we'll see a double dip soon.
    "He admitted at the time that the company had opened too many branches, which had resulted in stores taking business from each other, and the company's upmarket brand image being tarnished."

    Leave a comment:


  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Profits up by a huge cost cutting exercise and laying off lots of people.

    You can't raise profits like that forever.

    Hence why we'll see a double dip soon.
    Does cost cutting mean that I can't get 2 pints of latte (AKA a regular) anymore.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    Profits up by a huge cost cutting exercise and laying off lots of people.

    You can't raise profits like that forever.

    Hence why we'll see a double dip soon.

    Leave a comment:

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