S'now joke

[Tarquin Farquhar]

Dear Diary

Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.
...
May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!

May 10th- Moved to Florida

May 12th- This place is great. I'm out in my shorts and it's 90 degrees. Warm, I love it.

May 15th- Mowed the yard again to day. Man, I'm really sweating, wonder what the humidity is?

June 1- Damn, mowed the yard for the fifth time. Had to drink a gallon of gatoraid.

June 15- 100 degrees at 100 percent humidity. Watched Manuel mow the yard from the front room. Massive 100,000 btu AC keeps the house at a cozy 72 degrees F. Only 300 bux a month for the power.

July 1- I'm still alive. Survived a 5 hour electrical storm last night. I thought at any minute the aliens would descend from the clouds to pick us up. The dog is still under the bed. Wife called a few minutes ago and told me she'd gotten back to Canada ok. It's just as well, I was gonna tell her about the 8 foot long snake skin I found in the laundry room. I really was.

[Pondlife]

I've a video from my helmet cam where I collided with a deer. Him and his fscking mate ran straight out at me.

Sounds like one of Xeno's Plan Bs

[threaded]

I've a video from my helmet cam where I collided with a deer. Him and his fscking mate ran straight out at me.

[Pondlife]

Last place I worked the bosses in Houston couldn't understand why the Canadians wanted to be able to work from home on 'snow days'

[Diver]

[EternalOptimist]

Dear Diary

Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.
Oct. 14 - Canada -- it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here!
Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. F#cking snow plough.
Dec. 22 - More of that white tulip fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.
Dec. 25 - Merry F#cking Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f#cking ice.
Dec. 27 - More white tulip last night. Been inside for three days now except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white crap and it is so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
Dec. 28 - That f#cking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the crap this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already
broken six shovels shoveling out all the crap he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his f#cking head.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had
exterminated them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that salt they put all over the roads.
May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!