Reply to: Relatives you cannot stand

[bobhope]

Wife's brother. An absolute twunt. He's done everything faster, slower, better, cheaper, more expensive, blah, blah, blah than anyone else.

I fliping hate it when he comes round (which thank god is only twice a year)!

There's probably a law somewhere that says you have to have at least one person like that in your family.

Did you do house prices? I love that one.

[Pondlife]

If you feel that aggrieved, and want them to know it, maybe you should send the worst two or three a DVD of Abigail's Party for Christmas, with a subtly phrased card.

Once they swap notes, and realize you sent it to more than one, they'll get the message.

Great film. On a par with Nuts in May.

[BolshieBastard]

Wife's brother. An absolute twunt. He's done everything faster, slower, better, cheaper, more expensive, blah, blah, blah than anyone else.

I fecking hate it when he comes round (which thank god is only twice a year)!

[OwlHoot]

It was F****** horrible. 7 F**** hours of it. FFS

It got off to a bad start. Wife's cousin starts with

"Hi, suityou01, I was up your neck of the woods the other day on a course. They've started doing the place up at last. But where did the council get the money from."

Guffaw guffaw.

If you feel that aggrieved, and want them to know it, maybe you should send the worst two or three a DVD of Abigail's Party for Christmas, with a subtly phrased card.

Once they swap notes, and realize you sent it to more than one, they'll get the message.

[suityou01]

It was F****** horrible. 7 F**** hours of it. FFS

It got off to a bad start. Wife's cousin starts with

"Hi, suityou01, I was up your neck of the woods the other day on a course. They've started doing the place up at last. But where did the council get the money from."

Guffaw guffaw.

[TheFaQQer]

If there are any single female relatives there, get the children to ask "why aren't you married yet?"

If possible, get them to follow up with "is it because you're left on the shelf?"

Any single blokes that should be married, get the kids to ask if they are gay.

[RichardCranium]

Will be in a room full of them today. Snobby "wine bar" types. Snooty, snidey, back handed compliment,

With your help I can go armed with pithy one liners that cut them down to size. Please give generously.

Just leave your laptop on the coffee table with that post displayed.

[EternalOptimist]

Ask auntie June, she should remember that, she's old

[TheFaQQer]

Or, to the mother- / father-in-law "That's as maybe, but I'm still doing your daughter."

[TheFaQQer]

With your help I can go armed with pithy one liners that cut them down to size. Please give generously.

I've always found a "oh, why don't you just f*** off, you c***" works a treat.

If you don't like using the c word, go for "f*** you, you f***ing f***" which I find summarises the situation neatly.

[OrangeHopper]

"Would you like to have a look at my trout fly collection?"

"Have you ever pondered the advantages of a Vector over an ArrayList?"

"Hey, kids, show Uncle George your Crazy Bone collections."

[Board Game Geek]

Sorry.

In that case, load the kids up with coloured sweets and bright orange pop. See how mental you can get them.

Wasn't tartrazine the poison of choice many years ago in various orange drinks ?

Snobby relatives eh ?

"Your upbringing is showing" should put them in their place.

[conned tractor]

Sorry.

In that case, load the kids up with coloured sweets and bright orange pop. See how mental you can get them.

Vimto flavoured chewits seem to be pretty good for that. If you can still find them.

[suityou01]

Sorry.

In that case, load the kids up with coloured sweets and bright orange pop. See how mental you can get them.

Genius. I will get my DVD player.

Sorry, their DVD player.

[RichardCranium]

DVD player has been banned owing to SY02 reading your post about "including" them. Thanks mate.

Sorry.

In that case, load the kids up with coloured sweets and bright orange pop. See how mental you can get them.