I used to go out with this bird

[Menelaus]

What do you get if you play a Country and Western record backwards?

• You get your job back
• You get your truck back
• You get your home back
• You get your wife and kids back

... and your dog's reincarnated.

[Sysman]

was this Jasper Carrot ?

I've no idea where it came from; I heard it one night in the pub and it stuck.

[Pondlife]

Difference between country and western music

Country Music is where a guy sings about losing his woman and the love they had.

Western Music is the same but about his horse.

[EternalOptimist]

was this Jasper Carrot ?


since they let my mama out of prison
things down on the farm aint been the same
now they gone and let her out the jailhouse
she drove her goddam truck into a train

[Sysman]

What do you get if you play a Country and Western record backwards?

• You get your job back
• You get your truck back
• You get your home back
• You get your wife and kids back

[Diver]

Out on the ale one night in Liverpool, a friends 4'' heel snapped off. We spent the whole night singing 'you picked a fine time to leave me loose heel'


oh how we laughed

Hmm!

[EternalOptimist]

Hmm!

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille?

Out on the ale one night in Liverpool, a friends 4'' heel snapped off. We spent the whole night singing 'you picked a fine time to leave me loose heel'


oh how we laughed

[Pogle]

Hmm!

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille?

400 children and a crap in the fields

[Diver]

Hmm!

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille?

[Pogle]

I used to go out with this bird right. Every situation we found ourselves in, every emotional up or down, every tiny little insignificant meaningless pitiful microscopic pathetic little incident was addressed by a country and western song.
Everything.
If we had a row and it was me being an @rshole, she would play 'Stand by your man' sixteen times on the trot at full blast'
If she had a bad day at work, it was '9 to 5'
If the kids were playing up it was 'no charge'

I heard 'Sorry' on the radio the other day and it all came back to me. I wanted to smash that radio to little bits

I feel like that every time I hear Phil Collins on the radio

[EternalOptimist]

I used to go out with this bird right. Every situation we found ourselves in, every emotional up or down, every tiny little insignificant meaningless pitiful microscopic pathetic little incident was addressed by a country and western song.
Everything.
If we had a row and it was me being an @rshole, she would play 'Stand by your man' sixteen times on the trot at full blast'
If she had a bad day at work, it was '9 to 5'
If the kids were playing up it was 'no charge'

I heard 'Sorry' on the radio the other day and it all came back to me. I wanted to smash that radio to little bits