I cooked this evening

[Zippy]

Erm. You really think we haven't caught on to this one don't you? If any sentence started with oh Zip you are so much better at ..... immediately back went up.
Maybe me laughing loudly was why it went tits up?

[HairyArsedBloke]

I used to pull this trick to. When the woman gets to nag too much about you not doing the cooking, say OK. Then make a total hash of it so that she doesn't pester you to do it again for a long time.

[suityou01]

You might want to put some nappies in the fridge too, the sprog will suffer the after effects as well. Get in a job lot of sudocrem, chronic nappy rash may well be on the cards.

Sprog'll be ok I reckon. She turned her nose up at the food. Too hot apparently. Even though the curry was far far "gayer".

[Zippy]

Waiter! Could we have Mr Cranium's coat please?

[RichardCranium]

Home made Muligatawny soup, poppodoms, lamb bhuna, rice, tarka dall.

Is that the one that's like a chicken dall, only it's a little 'otter?

[TykeMerc]

You might want to put some nappies in the fridge too, the sprog will suffer the after effects as well. Get in a job lot of sudocrem, chronic nappy rash may well be on the cards.

[suityou01]

Brought the curry out, put it in front of her and muttered "All the best"

[RichardCranium]

Put a bog roll in there too or possibly in the freezer, she's going to need it.

I can also recommend taking your spare flannels, soaking them in cold water, squeeze out the excess and leave them by the loo in a Tupperware box.

Mind you, that was a special hot curry. Those Sri Lankans don't mess about when making a point to an Englishman who says he can eat anything off the curry shop menu.

[TykeMerc]

Real ale.

Popped a Carling in the fridge for 'er.

Put a bog roll in there too or possibly in the freezer, she's going to need it.

[suityou01]

Hope the wine is good

Real ale.

Popped a Carling in the fridge for 'er.

[Zippy]

Hope the wine is good

[suityou01]

Decided to treat the missus and cook for us.

Home made Muligatawny soup, poppodoms, lamb bhuna, rice, tarka dall.

Sat down to the muligatawny soup. Mission abandoned. It's the hottest thing I ever tasted, even hotter than that phall I made the other week.

I suffered, even though I am used to hot food. The missus is REALLY suffering.

She told me specifically to keep the spices to a minimum as she is breast feeding at the moment.

Dropped a bollock on this one.

Main dish coming out in a minute.