Reply to: Things not to attempt when pissed

[realityhack]

Attempt to climb tall buildings.

Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager.

Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop.

Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop, managing to walk up the apex of a sloped roof and lean (casually) on the chimney.

Attempt to climb tall buildings holding a full pint of lager and hardly spill a drop, managing to walk up the apex of a sloped roof and lean (casually) on the chimney, seeing some startled people 6 floors below on the street notice you, raising your pint glass in the air to toast them, and shouting "It's ok, I'm a professional climber!".

I'm not a professional climber. The trip down was heart-stopping.

[CarterUK]

Book plane tickets to Brazil leaving the following day [Friday] and coming back on Sunday afternoon, having calculated we'd get at least 2 days there and "could do everything".

[RichardCranium]

RC, your experience of thing not do do when pissed is impressive. Learned the hard way, I assume ?

Yep.

Try to ride your new racing bike up a kerb. (I should really have gone to A&E with that to get my face stitched back up but I was too pissed to care.)

Sleep it off in the driving seat of your car overnight with the engine running parked in the slip lane from Wood Lane onto the A40.

Take a kebab to bed when staying in the company flat. (Stained the sheets purple.)

Try to bake a frozen pizza (16 hours at gas mark 9).

Fall asleep on the underground.

Suddenly change trains when you wake up on the underground assuming you've missed your stop.

"Just sit and rest my eyes for a moment" when waiting for the last train home to arrive.

Think it would be a good idea to install [I'm not confessing this bit] on the departmental secretary's PC so that when she switches it on she is presented with something to open her eyes.

[Sysman]

Now I'm upset. Why when you drop a pizza it lands interesting side down?

Not the version I remember, but: Why toast likes to land butter-side down

[singhr]

drive a princess and her boyfriend home after a night out at the Ritz in Paris?

[Sysman]

Walking home from Central London (C'monnnnn, it's only 14 miles!!!!)

Only 14 miles when you can walk in a straight line.

[NotAllThere]

Things not to attempt when pissed

Begin a sentence about a brilliant insight and then... erm...

no. it's gone.

[Platypus]

...many quotes ...

RC, your experience of thing not do do when pissed is impressive.

Learned the hard way, I assume ?

[basshead]

Mow the lawn or use power tools

[RichardCranium]

Think you can fix a row with your wife when she's pre-menstrual and you've come in pissed from lunchtime and you're supposed to be going to a dinner party with her friends in the evening.

[HairyArsedBloke]

Think you can pee in a train toilet standing up when it is moving without incurring a dry cleaning bill.

I can't even do that sober and in my own home as today proved.

[Cliphead]

Upset Cliphead

Now I'm upset. Why when you drop a pizza it lands interesting side down?

[Zippy]

Upset Cliphead

[Cliphead]

Crank up the volume, new speakers in the morning

[Zippy]

In my first 3 years as a programmer, coding was done in the afternoon, pissed, and debugging done in the morning, hung over. I was frequently amazed at the high quality and creativity of my own code.

My code is always better written when pissed.

Ok, ok - I'm a lightweight (or unlucky) :