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Previously on "Welsh jobs boom, there's lovely then."

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  • stackpole
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Those valley girls know how to enjoy themselves... you might never get out alive...
    Isn't there a film called: The Valleys Have Eyes

    Leave a comment:


  • bogeyman
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    That's racist boyo!
    Indeed it is.

    Racism against the Welsh seems to be only flavour of racism that still passes without comment.

    Replace 'Welsh' with 'Irish' in that story and you'd have a ferking good beating heading your way courtesy of some heavy-set boys from the Old Country.

    (Yes I know they are not strictly a 'race' but the point remains)

    Leave a comment:


  • Benno
    replied
    Funnily enough just spent the weekend working at a factory/warehouse complex 50yds inside Wales at Deeside, impossible to tell who were Welshies and who were normal people due to a bizarre mix of accents. It's part scouse part Northwalian.

    Turned down the chance to work this weekend in Tredegar though, they'll be proper goggled eyed inbreds there.

    Leave a comment:


  • Moscow Mule
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    That's racist boyo!
    All the best jokes are.

    Have you seen Avenue Q?

    Princeton:
    Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

    Kate Monster:
    Sure!

    Princeton:
    Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

    Kate Monster:
    Uh huh.

    Princeton:
    Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

    Kate Monster:
    Right.

    Princeton:
    You're both Monsters.

    Kate Monster:
    Yeah.

    Princeton:
    Are you two related?

    Kate Monster:
    What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

    Princeton:
    Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

    Kate Monster:
    Well, it's a touchy subject.
    No, not all Monsters are related.
    What are you trying say, huh?
    That we all look the same to you?
    Huh, huh, huh?

    Princeton:
    No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
    I guess that was a little racist.

    Kate Monster:
    I should say so. You should be much more
    careful when you're talking about the
    sensitive subject of race.

    Princeton:
    Well, look who's talking!

    Kate Monster:
    What do you mean?

    Princeton:
    What about that special Monster School you told me about?

    Kate Monster:
    What about it?

    Princeton:
    Could someone like me go there?

    Kate Monster:
    No, we don't want people like you-

    Princeton:
    You see?!

    You're a little bit racist.

    Kate Monster:
    Well, you're a little bit too.

    Princeton:
    I guess we're both a little bit racist.

    Kate Monster:
    Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

    Princeton:
    But I guess it's true.

    Kate Monster:
    Between me and you,
    I think

    Both:
    Everyone's a little bit racist
    Sometimes.
    Doesn't mean we go
    Around committing hate crimes.
    Look around and you will find
    No one's really color blind.
    Maybe it's a fact
    We all should face
    Everyone makes judgments
    Based on race.

    Princeton:
    Now not big judgments, like who to hire
    or who to buy a newspaper from -

    Kate Monster:
    No!

    Princeton:
    No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
    busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

    Kate Monster:
    Right!

    Both:
    Everyone's a little bit racist
    Today.
    So, everyone's a little bit racist
    Okay!
    Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
    But you laugh because
    They're based on truth.
    Don't take them as
    Personal attacks.
    Everyone enjoys them -
    So relax!

    Princeton:
    All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

    Kate Monster:
    Okay!

    Princeton:
    There's a plan going down and there's only
    one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

    Kate Monster:
    And a black guy!

    Gary Coleman:
    Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

    Kate Monster:
    Uh...

    Gary Coleman:
    You were telling a black joke!

    Princeton:
    Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

    Gary Coleman:
    I don't.

    Princeton:
    Well, of course you don't - you're black!
    But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

    Gary Coleman:
    Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

    Princeton:
    Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

    Gary Coleman:
    Well, damn, I guess you're right.

    Kate Monster:
    You're a little bit racist.

    Gary Coleman:
    Well, you're a little bit too.

    Princeton:
    We're all a little bit racist.

    Gary Coleman:
    I think that I would
    Have to agree with you.

    Princeton/Kate Monster:
    We're glad you do.

    Gary Coleman:
    It's sad but true!
    Everyone's a little bit racist -

    All right!

    Kate Monster:
    All right!

    Princeton:
    All right!

    Gary Coleman:
    All right!
    Bigotry has never been
    Exclusively white

    All:
    If we all could just admit
    That we are racist a little bit,
    Even though we all know
    That it's wrong,
    Maybe it would help us
    Get along.

    Princeton:
    Oh, Christ do I feel good.

    Gary Coleman:
    Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

    Princeton:
    Who?

    Gary Coleman:
    Jesus Christ.

    Kate Monster:
    But, Gary, Jesus was white.

    Gary Coleman:
    No, Jesus was black.

    Kate Monster:
    No, Jesus was white.

    Gary Coleman:
    No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

    Princeton:
    Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

    Brian:
    Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

    Gary Coleman:
    Racism!

    Brian:
    Cool.

    Christmas Eve:
    BRIAN! Come back here!
    You take out lecycuraburs!

    Princeton:
    What's that mean?

    Brian:
    Um, recyclables.
    Hey, don't laugh at her!
    How many languages do you speak?

    Kate Monster:
    Oh, come off it, Brian!
    Everyone's a little bit racist.

    Brian:
    I'm not!

    Princeton:
    Oh no?

    Brian:
    Nope!

    How many Oriental wives
    Have you got?

    Christmas Eve:
    What? Brian!

    Princeton:
    Brian, buddy, where you been?
    The term is Asian-American!

    Christmas Eve:
    I know you are no
    Intending to be
    But calling me Oriental -
    Offensive to me!

    Brian:
    I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

    Christmas Eve:
    And I love you.

    Brian:
    But you're racist, too.

    Christmas Eve:
    Yes, I know.
    The Jews have all
    The money
    And the whites have all
    The power.
    And I'm always in taxi-cab
    With driver who no shower!

    Princeton:
    Me too!

    Kate Monster:
    Me too!

    Gary Coleman:
    I can't even get a taxi!

    All:
    Everyone's a little bit racist
    It's true.
    But everyone is just about
    As racist as you!
    If we all could just admit
    That we are racist a little bit,
    And everyone stopped being
    So PC
    Maybe we could live in -
    Harmony!

    Christmas Eve:
    Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

    Leave a comment:


  • Pondlife
    replied
    Dai the job.

    That'll be a new name in the valleys.

    Leave a comment:


  • voodooflux
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    That's racist boyo!
    I'll update it with a disclaimer

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    That's racist boyo!

    Leave a comment:


  • voodooflux
    started a topic Welsh jobs boom, there's lovely then.

    Welsh jobs boom, there's lovely then.

    COMPANIES RESORT TO EMPLOYING THE WELSH
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index....1909&Itemid=59

    THE recession took a turn for the worse last night as new figures revealed more businesses have resorted to using low cost Welshmen.

    Unemployment in Wales has fallen by 1,000 so far this year, as towns close to the border are overrun by short, hairy employees who work for vodka and seem to speak Elvish.

    Wayne Hayes, a warehouse worker from Chester, said: "I saw this odd creature stacking boxes. The boss said it's from somewhere called 'Llanerch-y-Mor', which I can only assume is a suburb of Mordor."

    Wales still suffers from large scale unemployment with many unable to work due to a chronic sense of victimhood and vitamin D deficiency from lack of sunlight. Singer Charlotte Church's bar tab currently accounts for 42% of the country's GDP.

    Meanwhile trade unions have called for increased safety checks warning an improperly-handled Welsh can explode in a shower of glowering resentment and vowel-free syllables.

    Roy Hobbs, who employs 12 Welshmen at his factory in Shrewsbury, said: "They're charming little fellows that can easily be trained to do menial tasks. I sometimes think they almost understand what we're saying."

    He added: "They're initially skittish around machinery but give them a pallet of straw to sleep on and a flagon of Brains Bitter every night and they're happy as larks."

    But many are angry at the introduction of the Welsh. Nikki Hollis, an accounts assistant from Ludlow, said: "How would you like a Tom Jones screaming down your ear and rubbing his crotch against your cheek while you're trying to do the regional sales figures?"

    ---------------------------
    Disclaimer: the satire in this post reflects the opinions/imaginaton of the author of the original article, and not necessarily those of the poster.
    Last edited by voodooflux; 16 July 2009, 09:43. Reason: Added a disclaimer

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