Reply to: Permie quips that have made you laugh (inside, but not to their face).

[AlfredJPruffock]

‘All you contractors are doing very nicely but you have no job security’. 2 weeks later when ClientCo's quarterly figures were down 1 percent he was told he’d be made redundant with 2 months redundancy pay. The contractors were kept on and moved to another building to avoid offending the permies.

Poor sod.

Absolutely Classic !!!!!!!

[Mich the Tester]

‘All you contractors are doing very nicely but you have no job security’. 2 weeks later when ClientCo's quarterly figures were down 1 percent he was told he’d be made redundant with 2 months redundancy pay. The contractors were kept on and moved to another building to avoid offending the permies.

Poor sod.

[Ruprect]

When I get asked to go permie, I answer like so: If you want really good sex then you can go to a prostitute. You will leave feeling really satisfied and you can pay again for another go. If you can’t afford her don’t embarrass your self by asking her to marry you.

very good - will have to remember that one

[Zippy]

I've had two which spring to mind:-

"If you stick in hard Chris, there could be a permanent position here for you further down the line".

also...

"What's it like temping for so long then? How do you manage to get by?"

I've had variations on this a few times. The permies have tended to be sympathetic and assume you've had no luck in finding a 'proper job'.

Bless em.

[NickFitz]

On almost every contract I've had I've been asked if I'd like to accept a permanent role.

Not necessarily with the same company though

[bodnobal]

"He doesn't carry change, he's a contractor"

Oh I chuckle inside.

[Paddy]

When I get asked to go permie, I answer like so: If you want really good sex then you can go to a prostitute. You will leave feeling really satisfied and you can pay again for another go. If you can’t afford her don’t embarrass your self by asking her to marry you.

[Bagpuss]

Allways makes me laugh when they are jealous but have never lived a life away from their home town nor would they ever, but expect the same benefit with no sacrifice

[Trev16v]

What I find is that when a permie is moaning to you about how hard times are, you have to kind of nod and pretend to agree as if you're in the same position, even though quite frankly you're minted, and you couldn't give a damn how much the price of pork has increased.

[Sockpuppet]

ClientCo made a load of redundancies today.

Team of 20 people in management 4 gone. Operations team 20 gone in the next few weeks.

I was in the meeting when it was announced. My contract finishes in 4 weeks anyway - if they can find a replacement for me as they basically want me but cheaper (permie).

One permie said to me - "its OK for you when you leave but I've got bills that need paying".

Erm...do contractors not have to pay for stuff then....boomed!

[jmo21]

Never really had this from any permie. Most of the time they want to know how to become a contractor. I try to put them off by warning them that they need a finacial cushion, mortgage, bills family responsibilities etc.

That usually puts them off as they like their cushty permie role, plus less competition for me

+1

had one perm dev recently trying to persuade me to take his perm position so he could make a sideways step into PM team - i politely declined

[suityou01]

I've had two which spring to mind:-

"If you stick in hard Chris, there could be a permanent position here for you further down the line".

also...

"What's it like temping for so long then? How do you manage to get by?"

Cup your left hand behind your left ear, and say "You'll have to speak up, I can't hear you over the sound of all the money I'm making"

Saw a contractor do this, and he's still there. Cheeky chappy.

[chris79]

Isn't that what we are anyway ?

Yeah it was the latter part of the questions which threw me, almost like shock that I'd managed to put bread on the table by choosing 'temp jobs'.

[Board Game Geek]

"What's it like temping for so long then?"

Isn't that what we are anyway ?

[badger7579]

Never really had this from any permie. Most of the time they want to know how to become a contractor. I try to put them off by warning them that they need a finacial cushion, mortgage, bills family responsibilities etc.

That usually puts them off as they like their cushty permie role, plus less competition for me