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Previously on "Permie announcements that ring alarm bells"

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  • Mehmeh
    replied
    Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
    First day at one gig I got told they would send a junior member of staff to the coffee machine (only a few feet from my desk) as it was cheaper than me doing it.
    HAHAHA, that's well funny...i might advice that to clientco!

    Leave a comment:


  • badger7579
    replied
    Talking to the department head..

    Me : can you give me an overview of your PM processes and any documentation that needs to be produced?

    DH : Well..... we dont really have a structure in place and to be honest you could write most documentation on the back of a fag packet and the client will be happy...

    Oh My God!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dante
    replied
    I sometimes get asked if I would consider a "Full time" job.

    Like 32-35 hours a week isn't full time...

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    In this job we need someone who is responsible

    translation -
    every time things went wrong , you will be made responsible



    Leave a comment:


  • Mehmeh
    replied
    Originally posted by Shimano105 View Post
    "It's a great place to work. If you work hard you might be able to apply for a proper job here"
    That's my favorite.... Yea...cuz I'm a "Temp" and would jump at the chance of a "proper" job.

    Leave a comment:


  • AlfredJPruffock
    replied
    Originally posted by DS23 View Post
    "based upon feedback from the results of last years survey we've decided to implement weekly departmental meetings 9am every friday. the meetings will be a round-robin review of activities and will last between 1 and 2 hours. everyone has to attend and contribute."
    Sorry I missed the meeting - the email seems to be down ?

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
    I almost caught one of those, fishing in the Mersey once.

    But it got away.
    you were using the wrong bait


    Leave a comment:


  • TheFaQQer
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    You sure it wasn't a carp?

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
    I almost caught one of those, fishing in the Mersey once.

    But it got away.
    You sure it wasn't a carp?

    Leave a comment:


  • TheFaQQer
    replied
    Originally posted by basshead View Post
    Almost as satisfying as a £10 turd
    I almost caught one of those, fishing in the Mersey once.

    But it got away.

    Leave a comment:


  • basshead
    replied
    Originally posted by thunderlizard View Post
    One of the more satisfying contractor milestones is walking over to the machine, getting a mars bar, and realising that by the time you got back to your desk you've earned enough to pay for the mars bar.

    Obviously it's very easy if the machine's a couple of floors away.
    Almost as satisfying as a £10 turd

    Leave a comment:


  • thunderlizard
    replied
    One of the more satisfying contractor milestones is walking over to the machine, getting a mars bar, and realising that by the time you got back to your desk you've earned enough to pay for the mars bar.

    Obviously it's very easy if the machine's a couple of floors away.

    Leave a comment:


  • Old Greg
    replied
    Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
    First day at one gig I got told they would send a junior member of staff to the coffee machine (only a few feet from my desk) as it was cheaper than me doing it.
    At my last gig, it was a 5 minute round trip to the coffee machine so I used to make coffees for everyone 5 times a day and mentally add up the cash in my head. They commissioned a 'Tea Bitch' badge for me in the end.

    Leave a comment:


  • thunderlizard
    replied
    "Hello. Now, you remember when we spoke on the phone on Friday we said we were looking for a business analyst to get write up the initial requirements document. Since then things have moved on somewhat. So how's your embedded C++?"

    Leave a comment:


  • TheFaQQer
    replied
    Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
    First day at one gig I got told they would send a junior member of staff to the coffee machine (only a few feet from my desk) as it was cheaper than me doing it.
    How to make friends and influence people

    Leave a comment:

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