Reply to: HIV+ in 2008

[Churchill]

Does wiping it off on a clean bit of curtain reduce the risk any?

Have you got any "clean" curtain left?

[Spacecadet]

I would imagine all medical personnel (including First Aiders) follow procedures that take into account the possibility the patient is infected.

I was thinking along those lines aswell, just quickly googled it and found this
http://aids.about.com/od/hivandthewo.../a/workhiv.htm

Seems to be no legal requirement to tell an employer especially since he just has a regular desk job and wouldn't be an infection risk to others.

[IR35 Avoider]

He shouldn't tell people. There's no reason for them to know, they are colleagues, not friends. I can't think why he'd want to.

I would imagine all medical personnel (including First Aiders) follow procedures that take into account the possibility the patient is infected.

[Diver]

You can't guarantee that your friend has told you the whole truth.
Maybe he he picked up a hooker, maybe he's Bi. that is irrelevant.
Support and a true friend are what will help him through this.
He must be in mental and emotional turmoil right now, and it will take him some time to come to terms with it. Your being there as a shoulder to lean on, as somebody he can talk to, is the best and only thing that you can do for him now.

[Olly]

I think your mate might not be telling the whole truth.

He is going to have a hard time because of people like DP. Nobody is ever quite going to believe him so not only will he be +ve but everyone will think (and treat him like) he is gay or a druggie.

You must be a true friend for him to feel he can tell you, don't let him down.

I didn't want to write this intially because I feel it's insensitive but now I can jump on the bandwagon. I don't believe the story either. Not that he doesn't have HIV, you have to be a pretty f*cked up puppy to lie about that, just the means of infection.

Condom "slips" off
Sex continues (why wear the condom then?)
Spermicide from condom etc still there (believe this lessons chance of infection)
2nd time having sex
Guessing it was the "right" hole based on line above
Woman

Hmmm.....nope.....just doesn't add up...or like he say he's possibly the most unlucky bloke out there (which is of course possible, just hard to believe)

[The Lone Gunman]

I think your mate might not be telling the whole truth.

He is going to have a hard time because of people like DP. Nobody is ever quite going to believe him so not only will he be +ve but everyone will think (and treat him like) he is gay or a druggie.

You must be a true friend for him to feel he can tell you, don't let him down.

[PRC1964]

HIV is classified as a disability so there are very strict rules on any discrimination in the workplace.

If he is in a normal office environment I can't see any reason why he should disclose it (unless he wants to). Obviously if he is working as a doctor/dentist etc things are different.

All the best to him. I wouldn't even wish it on Peter Mandelson.

Edit: If you haven't read it already, this is worth a look: http://www.workplacelaw.net/news/display/id/13530

[TimberWolf]

One of the first signs of Aids is a pounding sensation in the arse. Seriously though that's dreadful news, etc.

[Diver]

Yes, being circumcised reduces the risk by 50% !!

Does wiping it off on a clean bit of curtain reduce the risk any?

[BrilloPad]

Poor lad.

1/10000 chance and he got it - if you can corroborate his story.

That aside, I'm in the "tell the first aider" at work camp.

I'd be mortified if I found out I'd unwittingly infected somebody.

I would like to discuss the stats - I guess that would be insensitive?

[Cyberman]

The chances of a man catching it from one off intercourse with an infected woman in normal intercourse* are very very low, which is a fact that the scaremongerers didn't want you to know. Being uncircumsized, being female, gay, or a drug user significantly increases the risk. It's a shame but this bloke has probably got it from repeated exposure.

*caveats

I hope he is contacting the people he has been in contact with

Yes, being circumcised reduces the risk by 50% !!

[Cyberman]

A close mate of mine told me this weekend he was HIV+ he found out a week ago, normal guy early 30's, never a drug user, desk job just like you or I. He is hetrosexual and recon he caught it from a one night stand he had always been safe sex but the condom came off.

I'm going to stand by him and support him but he is obviously worried about telling other friends and work, does he actually need to tell work ? Would you prefer someone you knew well to tell you they were HIV + or for you not to know.

I'm really scared for my mate and people reactions.

Who did he catch it off ? He should be recommending whoever he suspects to take an HIV test, otherwise they could continue passing it on if they remain in ignorance.
Once a person knows that they are HIV they should refrain from sex, for obvious reasons.

[Moscow Mule]

Poor lad.

1/10000 chance and he got it - if you can corroborate his story.

That aside, I'm in the "tell the first aider" at work camp.

I'd be mortified if I found out I'd unwittingly infected somebody.

[Bagpuss]

I think most people realise that HIV isn't an instant death sentence, and it's almost getting to the point of being less of a problem than something like diabetes. But if it was me, I'm not sure I'd want to tell too many people, anymore than I'd want to tell everybody if I had any other potentially fatal condition. I think it's slightly unreasonable to put people in the situation of having to be okay with it, or being guilty about not being okay with it.

The chances of a man catching it from one off intercourse with an infected woman in normal intercourse* are very very low, which is a fact that the scaremongerers didn't want you to know. Being uncircumsized, being female, gay, or a drug user significantly increases the risk. It's a shame but this bloke has probably got it from repeated exposure.

*caveats

I hope he is contacting the people he has been in contact with

[Bumfluff]

Yeah he was very unlucky to get it and more so as the lady in question was only his 2nd person he had sex with ! Sometimes life is a total ******* sh*t