Reply to: Best parting shot?

[BoredBloke]

There are loads of things you could do if you really wanted. Do you know his home address or could you find it? Order loads of pizzas/curries etc from loads of different places all to arrive within a short time of each other. How about a ton of building sand to be left on his front garden or a skip on his drive? Several taxis to take him on a long run to the airport all arriving at his house at the same time could be fun also. If you go to town on this, he'll never be able to order anything again. If I did this I'd use a payphone though.

But to be honest, as was said before, go home and have a beer and forget about him. I worked for a similar type of knob head and that's what I did. At the end of the day I was a contractor and could leave his little kingdom at the end of my contract confident in the knowledge that he would always be a knob head.

[StuntManMike]

Get your timesheet signed at 1pm. Travel home early and open a beer, and send off your invoice.

Forget about your boss; he is (or was) a knob. Remember you are a contractor.

Completely agree. These things have a habit of popping up again, and being painful for you in another role....

[Bob Dalek]

Best parting shot? Indiana Jones dealing with the Arab with the sword in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Priceless.

[expat]

What’s the best parting shot? The permy boss I work under is a right tosser, how can I make him pay??

I know the golden rules about remaining professional and not burning your bridges but this time it's different, he deserves bad things to happen. I don't want to lower myself to physical damage or pain, I was thinking more on the lines of utter humiliation.

Any suggestions?

Success is the best revenge. Or as Lawrence wrote in Seven Pillars of Wisdom, "Two characters of Englishmen were modified: one into nothing, because the worm no longer seemed worth treading on..."

[PAH]

World is full of winkers - don't get mad, just get even

True about the winkers, but as for getting even I rarely can be arsed, that's how little they or their deeds mean to me.

The day I took my first half-decent car to work (again in the days of premiedom when I was sucked into all the petty jealousy), I returned to it after work to have a work colleage stood there pointing to a scratch along the side where someone had keyed it. I just started laughing, knowing it had wound up someone so much they had to do something so pointless, where as I generally don't give a toss about how clean my cars are on the outside or if they have the odd scratch or dent.

Part of me thinks it was the guy stood there pointing it out and I almost caught him in the act, which would have resulted in an entirely different reaction from me.

I got my own back by leaving to go contracting. By all accounts (from former colleagues I kept in touch with), my old boss insisted I'd made the wrong decision, leaving his precious company. Yeah right!

[TheVoice]

Ex-Client of mine had an ass of a permie manager on site.

Week after I left, I called by the postroom to collect something that had arrived for me which said permie manager had stashed under his desk wanting 'a chat'.

Middle of the office he started to talk about "discoveries" - scripts running against servers & stuff which were part of the job & he was fully aware of.

In front of the whole office, I metioned that if he kept quiet about my perfectly legit 'discoveries', I would keep even quieter about his quietly homosexual tendancies towards other members of staff & not sue his ass off for trying to paint me in a bad light for just doing what was needed.

Surprisingly he went bright red, shut the hell up & everyone lived happy ever after!

World is full of W*nkers - don't get mad, just get even

[BolshieBastard]

My favourite is to tell someone I think is a complete waste of space in full hearing of their subordinates in an organisation;

'I'd just like to mention something which I know others have been very reluctant to tell you. And that is whatever mouth wash you use in the morning doesnt cover up your severe bad breath. Washes and pills mat seem to freshen your breath but I have to be honest and say by 9.00am, your breath has neutralised them and the halitosis is very overpowering. Its quite severe and I'd suggest a change of dentist seeing as he hasnt picked it up yet'!

Then, walk away before they can say anything.

[darmstadt]

When going for your next contract put him down as a reference stating to the agency that they are always looking for contractors so he keeps getting rung up by Del boy and his mates all day.

[Numpty]

What’s the best parting shot? The permy boss I work under is a right tosser, how can I make him pay?

You know how you should never give references before an offer? He's the exception.

With every agent you speak to, make it clear you are leaving a vacancy behind. Have him bombarded with as many agents as possible ringing him up trying to place your replacement. He'll get nothing done for weeks.

[gingerjedi]

Thanks for the suggestions, I know you're right when you say I should forget about him but.... This guy has bullied people in the past and I was warned he would try to do the same to me so feck him he deserves it! Fake CV or the escort agency thing sounds good, I may sign him up for a few S&M sites or something.

BTW he is a David Brent sort of character but without the comedy.

[Old Greg]

Just be glad you're not him. He is his own punishment.

[NickFitz]

Get your timesheet signed at 1pm. Travel home early and open a beer, and send off your invoice.

Forget about your boss; he is (or was) a knob. Remember you are a contractor.

WHS

If there's one blessing that comes from being a contractor, it's that you can walk away.

If you're letting it get to you you're missing the point.

[swamp]

Get your timesheet signed at 1pm. Travel home early and open a beer, and send off your invoice.

Forget about your boss; he is (or was) a knob. Remember you are a contractor.

[realityhack]

Sign him up (using a photo of a much more handsome chap nicked from a google images search) to an escort agency. Give his secretary's number or his direct dial as the main contact. Be creative in his description of himself. Make it sordid.

[Bagpuss]

Leaving speech, "I'd like to say I've enjoyed working here.......but I haven't"

or

"I can honestly say you are some of the people I have worked with"