Originally posted by Platypus
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You are a wonderful dad and I claim my five free shopping trips
Owen Owen first, then George Henry Lee, I think
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Just remember that feeding monkey nuts to the ducks is now illegal. It encourages rats!Originally posted by EternalOptimist View PostAbout twenty odd years ago, I got myself fixed up on a degree course at Liverpool uni doing a History BA. Talk about being loaded, my disposable income went up from a couple of pounds a week to £10 - 12, after paying for books and transport. In those days there was no such thing as student loans or course fees, it was all paid for, and we got a student grant to boot. Luxury.
Just before the second year it was my daughters birthday, she was twelve if I remember correctly. Usually I got her a big bag of monkey nuts and a bottle of pop and we sat on the Leeds Liverpool canal throwing peanut shells to the ducks and swans. This year I scrimped and stayed out of the uni bar and got enough for some clothes, you know what girls of that age are like about fashion.
I just couldn’t afford the decent stuff, but I saw two very nice white linen jackets with shoulder pads in a Barnardos shop, for a tenner each.
So comes her birthday, I transferred the jackets into an M&S bag, got loaded up with peanuts and pop, four cans of ale and off to the ducks. She was overjoyed with the clothes but wouldn’t wear them in case they got dirty. Very sensible my daughter.
Funny enough, she wouldn’t try them on later, when we got home, I started thinking ‘whats up’. Then one of the kids in the street made a comment, you know when people pretend to cough but spit a word out as well. <cough nardos cough>
‘Oh Fck’. What had happened was that one of her friend had been staying over, and they had gone ‘rooting’ for pressies, they had found the jackets in the Barnardos bag and that was that, minus several million street cred points. Me transferring them to a posh bag just added insult to injury.
Bad Daddy.
There was nothing I could do, I had fked up badly and I had no way to pull it back. I couldn’t buy anything nice for her, or take her anywhere nice (there are only so many times a duck will fall for the old peanut shell trick.)
A month or so later I got a letter. ‘Dear Mr Optimist, You may be aware of the high court case , Crown vs Bolshie, a male single parent who took his education authority to court for discrimination. The ruling is that fathers will now get the single parent student grant allowance that females have enjoyed. We have checked our records and found that you are one of two single parent fathers in our authority. We have been asked by the ruling to let you know that you grant will increase by £x and a cheque for £1,350 will be in the post in a week.
Stunned. Double stunned. This was two years spendies all in one lump.
I didn’t tell anyone, fearing it may all be a terrible mistake. The cheque arrived. I still didn’t tell anyone, fearing it would not clear. When it cleared I drew half of it out, in fivers.
I said to my daughter that night, ‘How come you never wore those white jackets I got for your birthday ? Oh I know, dads have got no fashion sense and you would rather pick your own.’ ‘yes dad.’ ‘Hows about we go into town this Saturday and you buy whatever you want, spend as much as you like’ ‘yes dad’ she tried to look enthusiastic, but she knew we were skint.
I went into the kitchen for a can, got the cash out of my coat, stood behind the couch and started sprinkling her with fivers. Her eyes were like saucers, she started to believe me. ‘Anything ?’ ‘Anything’.
So she spent over 300 quid on stuff, I got her a new coat as well for the winter and a top quality sleeping bag for the camping.
She also achieved plus several million street cred points. Some of the girls in the street started copying her outfits a few weeks later, which was nice. My sister took her into town the next week for some ‘womens’ stuff. I never asked. I didn’t get any change from my £200 either
PS the other half of the dosh went on an amiga, a tent and lots of beerios.
<BP in leftie mode>
Seriously - I love your non-army stories. Keep them coming.Leave a comment:
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Nice result!! Wouldn't happen these days. I'm trying to get my kids medical records and have been told I need to prove I have parental responsibility with a solicitors letter before they will release them.
Tossers!!
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Nice story! Thanks.
Reminds me how much I resent that my daughter lives with her useless mother.Leave a comment:
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It's raining Money
About twenty odd years ago, I got myself fixed up on a degree course at Liverpool uni doing a History BA. Talk about being loaded, my disposable income went up from a couple of pounds a week to £10 - 12, after paying for books and transport. In those days there was no such thing as student loans or course fees, it was all paid for, and we got a student grant to boot. Luxury.
Just before the second year it was my daughters birthday, she was twelve if I remember correctly. Usually I got her a big bag of monkey nuts and a bottle of pop and we sat on the Leeds Liverpool canal throwing peanut shells to the ducks and swans. This year I scrimped and stayed out of the uni bar and got enough for some clothes, you know what girls of that age are like about fashion.
I just couldn’t afford the decent stuff, but I saw two very nice white linen jackets with shoulder pads in a Barnardos shop, for a tenner each.
So comes her birthday, I transferred the jackets into an M&S bag, got loaded up with peanuts and pop, four cans of ale and off to the ducks. She was overjoyed with the clothes but wouldn’t wear them in case they got dirty. Very sensible my daughter.
Funny enough, she wouldn’t try them on later, when we got home, I started thinking ‘whats up’. Then one of the kids in the street made a comment, you know when people pretend to cough but spit a word out as well. <cough nardos cough>
‘Oh Fck’. What had happened was that one of her friend had been staying over, and they had gone ‘rooting’ for pressies, they had found the jackets in the Barnardos bag and that was that, minus several million street cred points. Me transferring them to a posh bag just added insult to injury.
Bad Daddy.
There was nothing I could do, I had fked up badly and I had no way to pull it back. I couldn’t buy anything nice for her, or take her anywhere nice (there are only so many times a duck will fall for the old peanut shell trick.)
A month or so later I got a letter. ‘Dear Mr Optimist, You may be aware of the high court case , Crown vs Bolshie, a male single parent who took his education authority to court for discrimination. The ruling is that fathers will now get the single parent student grant allowance that females have enjoyed. We have checked our records and found that you are one of two single parent fathers in our authority. We have been asked by the ruling to let you know that you grant will increase by £x and a cheque for £1,350 will be in the post in a week.
Stunned. Double stunned. This was two years spendies all in one lump.
I didn’t tell anyone, fearing it may all be a terrible mistake. The cheque arrived. I still didn’t tell anyone, fearing it would not clear. When it cleared I drew half of it out, in fivers.
I said to my daughter that night, ‘How come you never wore those white jackets I got for your birthday ? Oh I know, dads have got no fashion sense and you would rather pick your own.’ ‘yes dad.’ ‘Hows about we go into town this Saturday and you buy whatever you want, spend as much as you like’ ‘yes dad’ she tried to look enthusiastic, but she knew we were skint.
I went into the kitchen for a can, got the cash out of my coat, stood behind the couch and started sprinkling her with fivers. Her eyes were like saucers, she started to believe me. ‘Anything ?’ ‘Anything’.
So she spent over 300 quid on stuff, I got her a new coat as well for the winter and a top quality sleeping bag for the camping.
She also achieved plus several million street cred points. Some of the girls in the street started copying her outfits a few weeks later, which was nice. My sister took her into town the next week for some ‘womens’ stuff. I never asked. I didn’t get any change from my £200 either
PS the other half of the dosh went on an amiga, a tent and lots of beerios.
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