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Previously on "Restraining order - anyone had any dealings?"

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  • BA to the Stars
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    So it's the dog turd then...

    Milk is also remarkably effective, but takes a bit longer.

    Then there's prawns...
    Especially Dim Prawns

    Leave a comment:


  • Ardesco
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    So it's the dog turd then...

    Milk is also remarkably effective, but takes a bit longer.

    Then there's prawns...
    Or urine, cat's is the worst by far.....

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by darmstadt View Post
    Nicked from another BB:
    Top quality stuff - I cant wait to try it.

    Leave a comment:


  • ratewhore
    replied
    Some great ideas here. You'll probably find he is a chav muppet who would wear his asbo with pride...

    Leave a comment:


  • darmstadt
    replied
    Nicked from another BB:

    Years ago I lived in a road in xxxxx with not much parking for residents. This guy kept parking outside my neighbour's house all day and yyy got really mad about it.
    One morning he asked me to keep watch and put on a pair of marigold gloves, picked up a dog turd from the street and pushed as much of it as possible into the vent slits on the car, just under the screen.
    He wiped up with paper ,threw everything away and said to me " He wont know anything for about a mile ,then the engine warms up and he'll get the full benefit"
    Never saw the bloke again. I bet that car stank for years.
    Worth a go?

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by oloks View Post
    You can issue a Civil Injunction against him forbidding him to use abusive or threatening behaviour or words against you. If he breaks this order, then you can apply to court to have him committed, normally this is enough to scare them off. This will have to be served on him either by a court baliff or a Process Server he will need to sign for it, if he refuses then you can apply to court for substitued service i.e you can post it to his address. Visit your local County Court and they should have more info. on this.
    And how much will all that cost?

    Cheaper to give him a six-pack?

    Leave a comment:


  • oloks
    replied
    Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
    Had a chat with the neighbour opposite about his mate with an old grey van blocking my drive access (technically not a 'block' as an inch away, but, given another of their vans is bang opposite, it makes it a 5 minute epic to access my drive).

    Guy opposite totally reasonable, apologised, said he would sort his mate.

    Saturday - grey van blocking my drive - owner resused to move, said to f-off and he would knock my f-ing head off.

    5 mins later he moves (obviously house owner made him oblige). I say thanks. Reply loads of f-off's (which a neighbour witnessed)

    Today - he waits for me in the street and shouts at me pointing agressively.

    Police have had several chats with the grey van guy, I have dates and feedback from several police all asking him to park considerately and not be an @rse.

    Due to continued harrassment and not feeling safe, I have had no option but to engage the police home-watch officer who I am on good terms with (I am the homewatch co-ordinator for the area).

    Anyone know if there are grounds for a restraining order given a neighbour witnessing constant swearing, and several police records warning him off blocking driveways?
    You can issue a Civil Injunction against him forbidding him to use abusive or threatening behaviour or words against you. If he breaks this order, then you can apply to court to have him committed, normally this is enough to scare them off. This will have to be served on him either by a court baliff or a Process Server he will need to sign for it, if he refuses then you can apply to court for substitued service i.e you can post it to his address. Visit your local County Court and they should have more info. on this.

    Leave a comment:


  • bogeyman
    replied
    Originally posted by The Lone Gunman View Post
    Buy a ki of smak and plant it in his van, better if you can get his finger prints on it.
    Then ring the police.
    Sorted.

    TLG patent method of sorting people.
    Buy a matching coloured van. Get a matching set of number plates (nick his as that will cost him). Then follow him round for a couple of hours/days/weeks at a discrete distance and trip every speed camera you can find on route. Occasional illegal parking might be good too but dont get towed away. If you get stopped by plod give his name and address.
    A somewhat elaborate plan don't you think?

    Leave a comment:


  • The Lone Gunman
    replied
    Buy a ki of smak and plant it in his van, better if you can get his finger prints on it.
    Then ring the police.
    Sorted.

    TLG patent method of sorting people.
    Buy a matching coloured van. Get a matching set of number plates (nick his as that will cost him). Then follow him round for a couple of hours/days/weeks at a discrete distance and trip every speed camera you can find on route. Occasional illegal parking might be good too but dont get towed away. If you get stopped by plod give his name and address.

    Leave a comment:


  • Advocate
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    They're all the same size once you hack them off at the knee.
    T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't!
    Today is a good day for someone else to die?

    Funnily enough I was reading that last night...

    Leave a comment:


  • bogeyman
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    Have you considered telling the neighbours that you are a high class rent-boy ?. Once they have taken this in, casually let it slip that you caught aids off a Somalian sailor and that you only have six months to live.
    The fear of catching aids from your blood as he pounds your face into an unrecognisable pulp will encourage him to wear marigold rubber gloves when he comes round to sort you out.
    This is the good bit, just imagine how ridiculous he will look, driving round in his grey van wearing bright yellow gloves. I doubt if his street cred will EVER recover.

    NURSE!!! EO's out of bed again

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    Have you considered telling the neighbours that you are a high class rent-boy ?.
    Are you offering to pop round and make it look realistic?

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Have you considered telling the neighbours that you are a high class rent-boy ?. Once they have taken this in, casually let it slip that you caught aids off a Somalian sailor and that you only have six months to live.
    The fear of catching aids from your blood as he pounds your face into an unrecognisable pulp will encourage him to wear marigold rubber gloves when he comes round to sort you out.
    This is the good bit, just imagine how ridiculous he will look, driving round in his grey van wearing bright yellow gloves. I doubt if his street cred will EVER recover.





    Leave a comment:


  • ChimpMaster
    replied
    Let him kick the crap out of you and then report him for ABH / attempted murder / manslaughter. If you're lucky he'll get several years behind bars and you'll still be able to walk.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sausage Surprise
    replied
    I'm having malted shreddies for breakfast. What's everyone else having...

    Leave a comment:

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