Reply to: Denied the pleasure of beating up a couple of burglars

[hyperD]

Have some fun and ask them what the hell they are doing in your house.

Awwwww, you see, if that scenario ever happened again, I never would have said that! I can't think as fast as that but I wish I did!

[Chugnut]

I work from home office, it was during the day, the house was unoccupied.

You are right though - not sure what I would have said if confronted. I'm wondering if they would have come out the door and pretended they didn't live there or something!


But I trust my gut instinct.

Have some fun and ask them what the hell they are doing in your house.

Sounds like you did the right thing though.

[PAH]

Always best to come down the stairs with CS gas, gasmask........and big fat bat...........the shock on their faces.........no more nicking for them.

I've decided to park it on my neighbour's drive, seeing as they haven't moved in yet and don't look like doing anytime soon. Been empty for nearly two years and it's a newish house not some derelict wreck.

I'll pop a letter through their door apologising for any damage in advance.

The measures I have to take to get a bit of undisturbed shut eye.

[hyperD]

Did this not strike you as slightly odd behaviour? Did the occupants of the house ask if you'd had a nice day at the office?

I work from home office, it was during the day, the house was unoccupied.

You are right though - not sure what I would have said if confronted. I'm wondering if they would have come out the door and pretended they didn't live there or something!


But I trust my gut instinct.

[Number9]

I did think of that, but mobile phones are crap for taking photos in the dark, and with the light on there was too much glare from the patio door glass. Besides as soon as I put the light on they were on their toes before I could out manouver them.

A mate has a camera with a flash brighter than the sun. It blinds everyone for a few minutes when he takes photos on a night out. Even the strangers lurking in the background. Will have to find out what model it is, that'll do the trick.

Always best to come down the stairs with CS gas, gasmask........and big fat bat...........the shock on their faces.........no more nicking for them.

[PAH]

Should have taken a photo and posted it on here!

I did think of that, but mobile phones are crap for taking photos in the dark, and with the light on there was too much glare from the patio door glass. Besides as soon as I put the light on they were on their toes before I could out manouver them.

A mate has a camera with a flash brighter than the sun. It blinds everyone for a few minutes when he takes photos on a night out. Even the strangers lurking in the background. Will have to find out what model it is, that'll do the trick.

[PAH]

Always handy to have under the bed - just in case

Good idea, except my house is too small to swing a cat, let alone a bat.

A mate has one with "Thumper" down the side. Might see if he wants to send it on a little holiday to my place.

[Chugnut]

I drove into another road near my house and drove up someone's drive and got out the car, pretending to walk in the front house.

Did this not strike you as slightly odd behaviour? Did the occupants of the house ask if you'd had a nice day at the office?

[Xenophon]

That reminds me. My brother has a set of unused chef knives (in some poncy aluminium case) in my parents loft. About time they earned their keep.

Always handy to have under the bed - just in case

[up4it]

Should have taken a photo and posted it on here!

[PAH]

I think if anyone broke into my home, I'd introduce them to my Global chefs knives, sharpish.

That reminds me. My brother has a set of unused chef knives (in some poncy aluminium case) in my parents loft. About time they earned their keep.

[hyperD]

Maybe my paranoia that I've been followed home a couple of times in recent weeks isn't that misplaced. Or the dodgy gits that sorted out a new tyre last week have passed on my address. I thought afterwards it was the wrong thing to do to give them my real address, seeing as they didn't really need it.

Yes, it's entirely plausible.

I got followed in my TVR last year - just clocked a silver Fiesta in the corner of my eye u-turn and speed after me. It then followed me at a distance all the way home.

I drove into another road near my house and drove up someone's drive and got out the car, pretending to walk in the front house. I then looked around to see 2 chavs looking out and rather than giving the usual "nice car mate", they simply roared off down the road.

Probably nothing, but I'm glad I did it.

I think if anyone broke into my home, I'd introduce them to my Global chefs knives, sharpish.

[PAH]

Sounds like a couple of scumbag chancers, PAH.

That's what I thought, seeing as they've done a very amateurish attempt. Seems that they don't even know how to pick a lock as there are chisel marks around the door handle.

I've a feeling they were after my car, breaking in for the keys, seeing as they parked out of sight a fair way away around the corner in what sounded like a normal car rather than diesel van.

Maybe my paranoia that I've been followed home a couple of times in recent weeks isn't that misplaced. Or the dodgy gits that sorted out a new tyre last week have passed on my address. I thought afterwards it was the wrong thing to do to give them my real address, seeing as they didn't really need it.

[PAH]

Next time I recommend getting a cleaver from the kitchen and waving it at them whilst grinning manically. They may even kack themselves.

That thought has crossed my mind. Got a nice big carving knife that will do till the chainsaw arrives.

Hope the ***** come back, it'll be fun doing a leatherface chasing them down the street with a chainsaw. On second thoughts it would be more like that scene in American Psycho seeing as I sleep naked.

[Ruprect]

Next time I recommend getting a cleaver from the kitchen and waving it at them whilst grinning manically. They may even kack themselves.