Reply to: Lucky Escapes!

[oracleslave]

I got engaged a few years ago.

Luckily, a few months later she went off with another bloke and told me to move out of her flat. I ended up penniless and temporarily homeless, but looking back I realise she was a complete fruitcake, so it could have been a lot worse

A lucky escape indeed.

[NickFitz]

I got engaged a few years ago.

Luckily, a few months later she went off with another bloke and told me to move out of her flat. I ended up penniless and temporarily homeless, but looking back I realise she was a complete fruitcake, so it could have been a lot worse

[oracleslave]

deleted - wrong post

Which one did you delete?

[Bumfluff]

deleted - wrong post

[PAH]

thank goodness, I hear you say

No we were just talking in our sleep.

I too had a lucky escape on a bicycle, involving a learner driver. Won't go into detail as I would be repeating myself.

[darmstadt]

Fasching, Germany, pubs open 80 hours non-stop. Had enough to drink so got on the tram to go home. Got off the tram and a drunk driver hit me. I went over the top of his car bouncing on the roof on the way and landed in the road. The next think I know is waking up in an ambulance. I tried to tell them that I was okay but they decided to strap me down instead. Went to the hospital and I told the doctor that the x-ray will look a bit strange but he insisted it wouldn't. He came back later and agreed with me, due to a metal leg there were no injuries (well my head was a bit cut open) except the blokes car probably had a big dent in it. The police came and took me away and locked me in the cells overnight and then drove me home in the morning. It cost me, who was in the right, 72DM for the ambulance and another 72DM for the police. Ended up on the front page of the local rag but they never caught the bastard.

A few years later sitting on a wall in the market place which has the ladies toilets behind it just that they are about 15 feet below. Leaning backwards I fell the whole 15 feet and landed on my head. Went back to the pub, that cured it.

Got my foot caught in the metal bar which you tend to have at bars to rest yout feet on. Twisted my foot a whole 180 degrees round. Really freaked people out when I walked through the town (which was very difficult) and the taxi driver wanted to take me to hospital. Just went home and twisted it back. (Did this Crete a couple of years back and the other holidaymakers just freaked out, great for a laugh!)

When I was younger, for a period of about 3 months, I went to casualty every weekend due to stupidity, apparently. Nowadays things aren't too bad, much...

[KathyWoolfe]

Another incident.

Again I was about 11 or 12 and cycling at night (moral: stay off cycles at night), this time to a St Johns Ambulance meeting as I had joined as a cadet nurse. All I remember about the incident was that I was at a T-Junction and turning right from one road into another.
The only thing in my recollection about the incident is that there was a parked car in the junction of the road I was turning into and I had pulled out to pass it.
The next thing I recall is waking up in the ambulance as my mother was getting into it at my house. I spent the next couple of weeks in hospital with a broken collarbone.
Obviously there was undiagnosed brain damage as eventually I grew up to be an IT Contractor.

One last minor incident. I was cycling to school

(you would think I would have learnt to stay away from bikes wouldn't you? - but apart from buses they were my only means of getting anywhere because my family didn't have a car and in those days there was no "school-run" of parents taking their kids to school in the car )

and, because I had to give a mini-lecture that day on Archery, I was carrying my bow. This bow was a solid piece of wood (no Hi-tech laminates in those days - at least not available to kids my age) about 5 ft long. Well I suppose you can guess the rest, I caught the bow in the spokes of my bike and it ended up with me on the ground and a broken bow . No injuries and the bike wheel suffered no trauma. Luckily I wasn't on a public road but a lane which went behind some houses (a place where kids couldn't go these days even on bikes where they can get away easily).

Anyway - end of any life-threatening incidents (thank goodness, I hear you say )

[KathyWoolfe]

Sorry, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get past that.

It's the way I tell 'em

[wc2]

I fell off the roof of my house (25ft) and sprained my ankle.

1 year to the date I kicked the bottom of a greenhouse while playing a game with the kids (Had an 18" piece of glass through my lower arm) I was pissed at the time and found it quite funny.

The doctors were thinking of snapping the glass whilst in my arm as it was of equal length. In the end they just pulled it out. When the nurses got round to stitching it up the anesthetic and run out. I did a "Threaded" and just told them to get on with it as I was gagging for a smoke.

[MickeyP]

Very lucky. I know someone whose brother was recently very seriously injured by a taxi, after similar trying to cross a busy road whilst pissed up antics.

Yeah I was quite shaken by it. I wasn't totally pissed but had enough to make the incorrect decision not to wait at the crossing in the first place.

On the flip side at around that same time I had a young lad run out from between some parked cars right in front of me. I slammed on the anchors but he was up on the bonnet but escaped luckily unscathed. That shook me up even more I think.

I'm wondering now if it was Wilmslow?

[PAH]

But I said I wasn't available...

I'd have asked if they had any clown vacancies available. If they say no, they're obviously fully staffed at the moment.

[PAH]

You are Charlie Brown.

AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!

Never really watched any, but after a very quick google, you could be right.

Tell me he gets lucky in the end and has a long memorable relationship with Kelly Brook. That is the guy she's just dumped isn't it?

[PAH]

Result was when I landed I went over on my ankle and ended up on all fours with a car bearing down on me.

Very lucky. I know someone whose brother was recently very seriously injured by a taxi, after similar trying to cross a busy road whilst pissed up antics.

[Xenophon]

I once got a twisted testicle at junior school. Some sort of kiss chase game. The girl that did it to me turned out to be one of the fittest at high school. She never did want to play that game again.

You are Charlie Brown.

AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!

[PAH]

Some kids got their mother to me and she pulled me out of the mud but in doing so I got a twisted testical.

I once got a twisted testicle at junior school. Some sort of kiss chase game. The girl that did it to me turned out to be one of the fittest at high school. She never did want to play that game again.

I suppose she had a lucky escape, she'd still be chained up in my basement, the ***** teaser!