Reply to: Bored tulipless of people talking about their kids

[WageSlave]

As a lad, I had perfect vision. The medical experts informed me that they had never encountered such a perfect specimen before.

However, during my time travels, I ended up at Trafalgar. Nelson was sick in bed, so they asked me, knowing my tactical genius and powers of leadership, to take over. Unfortunately, during the battle, I lost an eye. Fortunately, I've just invented a new machine for the Australian government that can instantly cure any physical problem.

[hyperD]

Nope, eyesight and thyroids A1, as befits my name if not the avatar, although in the last year or two I've noticed things are easier to read if I hold them slightly further away...

Mind you, a few more weeks reading this board and we'll probably all be wearing bottle glasses.

Know how you feel. Many moons ago, while undergoing a Class III medical for a possible career in aviation, I had pretty good eyesight. A decade later and I can barely see my feet. That may be due to the increasing circumference of my beer hump of course...

hyperD in "blatant threaded" mode

[supremepods]

Sorry no - that's felching

[supremepods]

my daughter filched a bronze medal at the British Tae Kwon Do Championships.

Your daughter is into filching bronze medals ????

[OwlHoot]

I would have thought that, since he was also approaching infinite mass, he'd have a really massive...

But that would prompt yet another grumble: "blah blah ... and he was putting on weight even before he got anywhere near the speed of light"

[OwlHoot]

Owl Hoot - love your Marty Feldman avatar - you don't suffer from hyperthyroidism by any chance?

Nope, eyesight and thyroids A1, as befits my name if not the avatar, although in the last year or two I've noticed things are easier to read if I hold them slightly further away...

Mind you, a few more weeks reading this board and we'll probably all be wearing bottle glasses.

[xoggoth]

I don't talk about my kids. I belong to the growing band who MOAN about them. When ARE they going to leave home? Oh, there's a lovely security job going on an aboriginal reserve in Frazer island, why don't you apply?

[hyperD]

I would have thought that, since he was also approaching infinite mass, he'd have a really massive...

Also, if he drops groin-first into a black hole, the difference in gravity between the root and the tip would be enough to stretch it a very long way, like spaghetti.

Ah, it would have infinite mass but a size tending towards zero i.e. small.

I've dropped my bits in a few black holes. Didn't notice any increase in size sadly...

[benn0]

I talk about my kids all the time because they're the best thing that ever happened to me. You virgins wouldn't understand.

[threaded]

Gosh you lot make me feel old and tired, I talk about my grandkids...

[WageSlave]

Also bad...people sending a round robin letter at Christmas detailing their family exploits over the past year, and how little Justin is doing exceptionally well at school.
No, I don't fecking care about your little turd. Tell it to the grandparents; I'm sure they're interested in the product of your sperm experiment, but I'm not.

Even worse...sending a Christmas card from the family and the bloody cat! Mr Tibbles wishes you all a Merry Christmas and will shortly be round to crap in your garden.

[wendigo100]

"Yes, talking of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, did you know my ex-husband, when approaching the speed of light, has a really small..."

I would have thought that, since he was also approaching infinite mass, he'd have a really massive...

Also, if he drops groin-first into a black hole, the difference in gravity between the root and the tip would be enough to stretch it a very long way, like spaghetti.

[hyperD]

I find that there's only one thing as tedious as listining to people talking about their kids and thats listening to divorced women talking about (read - slagging off!!!) their ex-husbands. It doesn't matter if you're discussing astronomy, brain surgery or whatever, somehow they'll work him into the conversation and you'll never escape!!

"Yes, talking of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, did you know my ex-husband, when approaching the speed of light, has a really small..."

[splugnut]

kid talk

I find that there's only one thing as tedious as listining to people talking about their kids and thats listening to divorced women talking about (read - slagging off!!!) their ex-husbands. It doesn't matter if you're discussing astronomy, brain surgery or whatever, somehow they'll work him into the conversation and you'll never escape!!

[hyperD]

Is a "103" Whipsnade Zoo's code for a tiger? Well that's one way to bring in the punters I suppose. You'll have to get it mounted, or turn the skin into a big hearthrug.

Owl Hoot - love your Marty Feldman avatar - you don't suffer from hyperthyroidism by any chance?