Reply to: Awful news

[Sysman]

How exactly is it disgusting?

Welcome to my ignore list. And sod off too while I'm at it.

[Sysman]

It's hard when someone so young dies, it was my best mate’s funeral yesterday and I was a complete wreck, he was only 37 when he lost his 8 year battle with cancer, he left a wife and 3 year old boy behind... flipin heart breaking.

You have my sympathies ginger_j.

Let us wind this back 20 years, please. I had a good mate who unbeknown to me had leukemia. The last time I saw him he wanted to go into IT, so I cancelled my evening out and gave him the pros and cons. I then found myself working away from home a lot and it was absolutely dreadful getting home one night to see his face on the front page of the local evening newspaper, announcing his death. Gorgeous wife and a 2 year old son left behind.

But you know what? On the day of his funeral, I went into work at about 6 am, knocked off at 11 to have a bath and put my best suit on, and (sensibly) grabbed a taxi to the crematorium. On arriving, the taxi driver could not believe how many people were there. Loudspeakers were erected outside for thse who arrived too late to get into the chapel.

I think I was the only person there who hadn't seen it coming and pretty much cracked up. But then the next thing happened. My mate's father in law invited all of us back to the mate's favourite golf club, where a couple of free drinks were on offer for everyone who attended (specifically 2 pints for the blokes, 2 glasses off wine for the ladies), and the lad had left the money for that in his will. I was still upset at this stage, but it ended up with us having a rattling good do, and for several years after, anytime that you saw a funeral attendee in the pub you would likely be offered a free drink, or you would be offering one yourself.

On to the present, I have just learnt that my sister-in-law has cancer, and the prospects do not look good. All I can do about that is to be on the other end of a phone when needed, but thanks to you prompting me to think about the above story, I am determined to do what I can.

Somehow I've got to get through a works xmas do this afternoon.

It's very hard, but life must go on.

Please take care.

[wobbegong]

When someone close to you dies, it sure does make you realise just how fragile life is. My dad died of ALS in March, and I cannot think of a worse way to go. About a month ago, I statrted to get the same symptoms he had in the early stages and to be honest I was terrified and had convinced myself it was ALS. The neuro surgeon now does not believe it is ALS but is not sure...I am hopeful though...you do go through some realisations though when faced with the possibility...

Sometimes, things seem less important...

Davie, I'm not a praying man, but I sincerely hope your diagnosis is good news.

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. My condolences.

My Mum died of cancer in August last year, and I still find it painful. Not a day goes by when I don't think about the fragility of life (often the futility of life).

Life is short for all of us, so enjoy every second you can without hurting others.

[Cliphead]

Just had a similar call, a friend of mine (49), died suddenly today. Funerals are bad enough but this close to christmas is going to make it tougher.

[daviejones]

When someone close to you dies, it sure does make you realise just how fragile life is. My dad died of ALS in March, and I cannot think of a worse way to go. About a month ago, I statrted to get the same symptoms he had in the early stages and to be honest I was terrified and had convinced myself it was ALS. The neuro surgeon now does not believe it is ALS but is not sure...I am hopeful though...you do go through some realisations though when faced with the possibility...

Sometimes, things seem less important...

[NotAllThere]

Five years ago, when working as a permie manager, one of my staff, age 34, whose behaviour and performance I'd been concerned about for some time, asked me if he could take some unpaid leave to "get his head together". I discussed with HR, and we told him to go see the company doctor, expecting that he'd be signed off for stress. ( On full-pay of course ). The co. doc. said, yes, probably stress, and signed him off, but also booked him in for some scans. ( This is not the UK, so these could be done very quickly ).

He got a call a day after the scan, asking him to go to hospital, with some haste. "Probably better if you don't drive". Turned out to be a brain tumour. He had emergency surgery to have the tumour removed, but it turned out to be malignant. The cancer came back, and two years later he died.

He did not have a fully paid up pension. So the company made a one-off contribution to his fund, so that his widow and child would get full pension. The HR director, of this multinational, massive pharmaceutical company, said he would break every rule in the handbook to make sure this guy's family were well taken care of. It was at that point I shed a few tears.

Death really pisses me off.

[Clippy]

Troll, why don't you take the afternoon off mate?

Because being a c0k is a full-time job.

[Bear]

Troll

You are entitled to your own view, you are entitled to air those views. I actually think you have some good points.

The point is you should choose to air them in a sensitive and reasonable manner - in this thread is not that place.

If you had started a thread called "my views on death" or something then a good debate could have started.

Snaw could then have chosen to contribute or not dsepending on how he feels.

[Jog On]

How exactly is it disgusting?

Exactly?

You are belittling the original poster’s feelings that have caused him to make this post in the first place. You are trying to back up your ‘position’ with logical arguments which don’t belong in this discussion because it is about emotions that are being felt.

As someone who is helping their other half deal with watching her mother die I can strongly relate to how the original poster is feeling and your comments of “FFS get a grip” are nothing short of disgusting. It really doesn’t matter what you think and how right you think you are, your comments are in extremely poor taste and should not have been posted.

There are plenty of opportunities for you to show off how much of an elite internet-forum-cleverer-than-thou you are but this really should not be one of them.

HTH

[SallyAnne]

Not quite the same argument re: losing your mum and losing someone "you didn't know very well" is it?
Did you understand the context of the quote?

Troll that's the whole point - this thread shouldn't contain any "argument". It's a thread about someone's sadness and shock about the death of someone reasonably close to him.

There shouldn't be any kind of friction at all.

Give it a rest man, cause you're coming accross as a complete plonker on this one.

[snaw]

Go away.

[Troll]

As the man said - you're either playing up to your nick, or genuinely hold those opinions. Either way you're being a first class ***** to be insensitive and callous in this context.

I lost my mum too - I don't know how recently you did (if at all), but I remember having the 'well this is life...' attitude after a while, which made me more likely to brush off bereavement callously, as I didn't want to know, as I still hurt badly inside. After a while this faded and you see things in perspective again.

Don't injure or lessen others' feelings because of your own deep seated insecurities - that doesn't achieve anything.

Not quite the same argument re: losing your mum and losing someone "you didn't know very well" is it?
Did you understand the context of the quote?

[SallyAnne]

No worries, it was a long time ago mate.

Thats even worse

You're just a bairn now!

[DimPrawn]

Did you cry when Bambis mother died too?

Troll, why don't you take the afternoon off mate?

[realityhack]

I had no idea hun - I'm so sorry

No worries, it was a long time ago mate.