Reply to: Weapon

[Andy2]

Where do I locate these burglars? Ideally I'd like to pre-empt them breaking into my house so that I can can give them a good beating, thus ensuring that the break-in will never occur.

You are Hiro Nakamura from Heroes and I claim my 5 yens

[chicane]

A visit to your local car booty will offer you many chances to meet the Bill Sykes' of the Manor.

Of course - that handy emporium where you get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy a 42 inch plasma TV for £200. The catch being that the very same TV was sat in your living room the previous day.

[richard-af]

Where do I locate these burglars? Ideally I'd like to pre-empt them breaking into my house so that I can can give them a good beating, thus ensuring that the break-in will never occur.

A visit to your local car booty will offer you many chances to meet the Bill Sykes' of the Manor.

[chicane]

Tell any burglar that your house is currently being filmed for ITV's House of Horrors, and that Jonathan Maitland is in your shed.

Where do I locate these burglars? Ideally I'd like to pre-empt them breaking into my house so that I can can give them a good beating, thus ensuring that the break-in will never occur.

[richard-af]

Tell any burglar that your house is currently being filmed for ITV's House of Horrors, and that Jonathan Maitland is in your shed.

[basshead]

I have my fist and years of pent up anger, frustration and aggression at my disposal

If I had to choose a weapon, my choice would be the first thing I come across thats heavy enough to hurt when it gets thrown at you... and thinking about the current state of my house, it would probably be a child safety gate or ceramic tile

[Harrysp]

You bunch of pansies I use one of those police extending battons, extremely light and very tough, it will HURT big time LOL

[Diver]

Sorry to break it to you, the 'lady' you keep folded under your bed don't count.

Oh! you mean the only blow job I ever had that made my head spin



Ferret and SP, above = inflation not

[TheFaQQer]

I have a 1970s, wooden Louisville Slugger next to the bed. Probably not as good as an aluminium one, but maybe more likely to argue that it just happened to be there, as it's older than I am and is an heirloom of some kind...

[WindyAnna]

pool ball in a sock

[ChimpMaster]

Seriously, I have a cricket bat under my bed. I also have a back scratcher that I bought from Portugal for 3 euros.

Wielding these 2 weapons of choice will indeed make me a formidable foe.

[Jog On]

I have a pair of nunchakas by the bed.

[oracleslave]

I find the 'hook' used to retrieve a loft ladder particularly useful. Only difficulty is retrieving it once embedded in flesh.

[Swiss Tony]

petrified wood spear

[daviejones]

I find that strategically placed anti-personell mines come in handy!!!