Reply to: In Shock: WOrlds Laziest Agent

[KentPhilip]

... about as effective as Joey Deacon at a fighter pilot's acrobatics written exam.

That takes me back.
Blue Peter. 1981. All those "spastic" impressions that went around the school playgounds at that time. Anyone else remember him?

There was a young spastic called Deacon,
Whose talent was not for plain speaking.
And not to be glib,
But he needed a bib,
As his mouth was persistently leaking.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joey_Deacon

[Sockpuppet]

I had a better one a couple of days ago.

Some woman phoned me up.

Her: I have a role in Oxford with a leading 3PL.

Me: That'll be Unipart then. What and how much per day?

Her: Solutions Design, Perm £40k

Me: Sorry not interested in going back there as a permie

Her: Oh, you used to work for them.

Me: Yes, you'll see a good 3/4 of a page of my CV dedicated to the 7 or 8 projects I did there. Hard to miss really.

Her: Silly me

Me: Silence

Her: Are you there?

Me: Sorry, thought I heard Dr. Watson calling you. Bye.

*Click*

[Sockpuppet]

Is this Narvey Hash?

Nope.

3 words.

First is the long version of Dick

Second is a drink (Irish Whisky Cream Liqueur) but without the "S"

third is the word "Associates".

[eliquant]

Dude, its their job at Hoaxley to do that and besides at many large companies you cannot go direct so you do have to go via an agency to go on site as she stated on the phone.

Having said that Hoaxley these days do seem to provide zero job interviews and get juniors to do the dirty work of fishing for info .. especially of the "where are you interviewing" and "what are you doing variety" ... I can see it coming miles away ... as for the the Hoaxley seniors, when they try and pull a fast one on you ... well .. their voice goes all "sly and evil" .. and my spidey sense always tells me that something is terribly wrong .. so I put a stop to it right there and then. Also when they smell that you are onto something at a client site during the interviewing process they will bombard you with job specs that they have no intention of putting you forward for just as a means to put pressure on you to divulge info on what you are doing and what stage you are at in the interviewing processs. .... I've seen all the tricks, all the capers ... all the scams, the cons and all the lies but still its just plain annoying when they try it on and insult your intelligence; these tricks tried on me are about as effective as Joey Deacon at a fighter pilot's acrobatics written exam. And its not just Hoaxley who does this as we all know.

Strange though that we are getting this from the company that was voted Best Agency of the year 2005 (was it ?)


Although, what agents sometimes forget is that contractors sometimes become managers or at least get involved in interviewing candidates at companies and we sometimes ask "which agency has put you forward for this role ?". Remember agents .. we have long memories and the candidate you have put forward will have some "weaknesses".

[threaded]

Geezzz...

Had some agent phone me up from <mans name> Associates.

She was new. She admitted this. I kind of got the feeling that she was being talked through the phone call by someone next to her.

Anyway we are talking she wants to apply for a job but wont tell me who the client is, what the sector is and doesnt have a job description. I mean wtf?

So we gets past that point, she then starts the "who did you report to" routine to get old leads. I gave her variations of Ken, "this guys name ken", "ken the pm" and "my mate ken". Seemed to work well and she didnt push the issue.

She then went onto "Who would your ideal company be to work for..."

Didnt want to confuse her by saying MyCo Ltd so I named a few generic companies.

Then I almost fell off my chair.

"Do you know anyone in those firms, who has jobs availible? I'll contact them and see if I can represent you in your career search".

Now, maybe I am daft but if I knew which hiring managers were taking on the contractors then why would I need you and I would approach them directly!!!!

Jeez. Muppet.

But, did she wear a short skirt? Does she put out? So slow young man, so slow.

[lexington_spurs]

[QUOTE=DaveB;289319]Icertain key word searches QUOTE]

Computsomething Peosomething?

god's happy fools?

[pisces]

She spent three years at Uni to get a degree to do that

Well that's the rub isn't it? Years of University teaches you **** all about the real world.

[pisces]

Sounds like a standard call to me.

[Ruprect]

"Do you know anyone in those firms, who has jobs availible? I'll contact them and see if I can represent you in your career search".

Now, maybe I am daft but if I knew which hiring managers were taking on the contractors then why would I need you and I would approach them directly!!!!

Jeez. Muppet.

[zathras]

Contracts are varying in length and are paying £150 - £180 per day.

OK so that would possibly on a good, day, might get the big left toe to peek out of the Duvet - if they want anything else then it will cost a bit more.

[richard-af]

Is this Narvey Hash?

[DaveB]

In a similar vein I got two emails from different people at the same agency about the same job - NHS IT training on Lorenzo - which is absolutely nothing to do with what I actually do.

Part of the mail was the following discalimer:

"You have received this email after certain key word searches have identified you as a possible candidate on our system. This was followed by a number of filter processes to ensure that you are not currently working for <insert name of crap agency here> or that we have placed you in your current role. Due to the fact that on rare occasions some information is duplicated on our database, some people may receive information that is not applicable to them. Please accept my apologies in advance if this is the case"

Followed off by offering a rate I wouldn't bother waking up for, let alone getting out of bed.

Contracts are varying in length and are paying £150 - £180 per day.

Forget the disclaimer and try actually reading the CV's of the people you are emailing in the first place.

Useless feckers.

[alreadypacked]

I don't put a phone number on my C.V. (or what ever we are calling it this week) I think I'm missing out

[Ardesco]

Did you get a first name for her? If so please share it (As the first name itself can't hurt)

I have a hunch and want to see if it is correct.

[BA to the Stars]

She spent three years at Uni to get a degree to do that