Reply to: Health and Safety

[cojak]

I would also advise performing a risk assessment before turning on computers, you don't know what's out there...

[Board Game Geek]

Don't get of bed in the morning, because if it is a weekday, and you are on your way to work, any accidents or injuries sustained whilst travelling to work will be the fault of your employer, for not ensuring adequate protection of your wellbeing.

Always ensure you wear clean underwear in the event of an accident. (Just like your mother used to tell you). Also, always carry a spare change of underwear, in case of an accident (like a curry the night before).

Always ask people, especially strangers to wear a badge stating their intentions towards you. Survival training teaches us to assess people in to one of 3 categories when we meet them. 1) Hostile, 2) Neutral or 3) Friendly.
If people wore a badge with their state of intent, you could avoid all sorts of trouble.

Never, EVER attempt to feed a pill to a cat without wearing the appropriate safety equipment. (Full Body Kevlar armour, Chainmail Gloves, Full-Face Helmet and Baseball Bat). Even then, make a will just in case.

When assessing the likely outcome of a situation, always veer on the most harmful and negative outcome, and then expect that to be the minimum situation to occur, with the real outcome being much much worse.

Always check your airport luggage for drugs and other illegal items of contraband. Just in case you left them at home and need to rush back.

And finally, my number 1 tip :

When your spouse says "I've set the alarm clock" and you do your double check to make sure he or she has set it correctly, you can be sure that the only time in 16 years you forget to check the alarm clock is when your spouse has forgotten or incorrectly set it as well. This event is always on the eve of an important meeting, interview, etc. So don't go to bed. You can't be too careful :-)

[Dundeegeorge]

Oooh matron

He's out of bed again, I think his medication is too weak.....

[TheOmegaMan]

Yes, it's Carry on Contracting.

[dmini]

Be careful with drink purchased from a vending machine, as these may be hot.

Take care when sitting at walking around office furniture, as they may have sharp edges.

Too much keyboard working may cause RSI

[wobbegong]

3. Don't walk into walls. It is much easier to use doors or open spaces. If you wish to enter a room and the door isn't open then open it. If there is someone in the room with their back to you, it is polite to cough before coming up their behind.

[To BI or not to BI?]

For best results, don't do stupid things.

Before speaking, make sure your brain is switched on (and if you are Chico just don't)

[PerlOfWisdom]

For best results, don't do stupid things.

[TheOmegaMan]

3. Don't walk into walls. It is much easier to use doors or open spaces. If you wish to enter a room and the door isn't open then open it. If there is someone in the room with their back to you, it is polite to cough before coming up their behind.

[DimPrawn]

Before criticising someone, always walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you do, you'll be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes.

HTH

[Dundeegeorge]

Use a knife! Are you insane?

2. Swallowing an apple whole can result in choking. Use a knife to cut the apple into segments for easy consumption. Never shove an apple up your rectum as this causes constipation.

Whoops, sorry, just realised who posted it.
But anyway, a knife! Do you know how dangerous knives are?
I think in the interests of safety, apples that are too big to be swallowed whole should be banned. You can't be too careful.

[PRC1964]

Don't vote labour.

[TheOmegaMan]

2. Swallowing an apple whole can result in choking. Use a knife to cut the apple into segments for easy consumption. Never shove an apple up your rectum as this causes constipation.

[Swamp Thing]

One for Chico. Religion: it is the opium of the people (apologies to Marx) and should therefore be banned.

[shaunbhoy]

I think we should also incorporate some First Aid principles lest anyone's sides split whilst reading one of OmegaMan's postings. You can't be too careful.