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He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
2017-06-24 Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two fish
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread and two fish.
Percy Cheesewright told us,”I saw him coming out of a portaloo. We stood and chatted. I told him it was nice to see a man with proper convictions in politics and got a selfie with him. He was carrying a bag but I thought nothing of it. Then he gets up on stage, makes this big speech, looks to the Pyramid stage. He takes the five loaves, gives thanks and breaks the loaves. Then he gives them to the crowd. They all ate and were satisfied, and Michael Elvis picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over and walked off with them.”
It’s a disgrace. I’ve got 20,000 cheeseburgers here. What am I supposed to do with them?”
Food vendors weren’t the only ones annoyed at Corbyn. Drinks vendor Vodka Best said, “After he’d done the whole bread and fishes routine he gets Eavis to come over with some water. Then he gets Eavis to taste the water and Eavis says it’s wine. Not just any wine though. Chateau Lafite-Rothschild. Then everyone starts tasting their water and that’s wine too. Talk about champagne socialists. Nobody wants my warm Carlsberg now.”
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