Reply to: Can you divorce a parent ?

[SandyDown]

BGG: that's why you have to sign the data protection agreement... NHS employees are not the only people who have access to sensitive data, when I worked at Halifax / other high street banks, if I really wanted to I could look up what my neighbours' mortgage and other financial data... I was also able to run credit check on anyone I fancies to do so - all I needed is the name and address !!!! but I wasn't interested !!!

This is the main reason why Data Protection Act was brought in.

[SandyDown]

Do you live near your father ?? can you move house - I moving is hard if your kids are happy with their school - simple answer is try to avoid him in a diplomatic way i.e if he wants to visit or wants you to visit say you have other plans - have a phone with caller ID and don't witch on the answer machine if he insists in coming round to visit - send the kids away to be with friends etc and explain that they have arranged to be with their friends before you knew about his visit.

Its a bit hard with the Xmas season coming round - but can you take the kids away and spend Xmas some where far?

Do you have brothers and sisters ? are they on your side? if so ask them for help i.e. for example if he wants to visit you ask them to be around too to distract him from interfering with your kids.

Can you be straight with him and tell him that you have your own idea of how you want to raise your kids and see what he says

Lastly - look at your self if you are happy for your kids to be just like you whey you grow up , to be where you are now and to achieve what you are achieving - then by George your Dad must've done something right to bring you up the way you are now. I don't mean to judge too much but may be he has some points or lesssons to learn from- you know sometime we do reflect on experience and mistakes and we learn from it, perhaps your Dad is able to give you some of the lessons he learned ? Nothing better for kids than to have a happy supporting extended family and if your Dad does have a high profile its best to get him on your and your kids side - he must've done something right to be where he is !! We have a saying from country that say : " the only thing that is more precious than your kid is your kid's kid" so please consider that your Dad is doing what he does out of love ??

Good luck - and apologies if I said too much

[Board Game Geek]

That's highly illegal - he can lose his security clearance and his job - maybe more.

Indeed it is..I'm an NHS Support Guy (not your dad though!) and yes, part of my work does involve fixing PC's that have been left with confidential data showing whilst the clinician is at lunch or nipped to the loo, etc.

It's impossible not to see confidential stuff, which is why I and the rest of the team sign disclaimers that basically say

"We know you will come in to contact with confidential data. That's Fine. What is not fine is then telling friends, family or strangers that Mr X has condition Y, assaulted his partner, yada yada yada"

Sometimes, we have to open up a specific patient record. Eg, a Medisec says "When I open Patient Z, and click Medical History, only half of the record appears"

So yes, as an NHS employee, you will have access to medical data. That is ok, providing you are using the data in a clinical context.

If however, this guy is just sniffing around your medical records, and is using the information in a non-clinical context, and it can be proved beyond reasobable doubt, then yes, he will get the book thrown at him.

On another note,

Did you know that if, whilst working in a GP, a friend of mine comes in to the waiting room, and says "Hi mate, what are you doing here ?", instead of saying "Hi Mate, just fixing their PC's", I am supposed to completely blank him and not acknowledge his prescence. All to do with patient confidentiality. IF he says "I'm here because of X" I have to cut him short and warn him that I am not, in a professional context qualified to hear about his ailment.

[Lola]

It's a Serious question?

I've just met up with the old man and his head is so far up his own ar** that he just can't see that other pople have feelings and opinions.

So can I divorce ,or similar? The main reason is I suspect he will start legal proceedings to have acess to my kids (he may use his public profile to gain advantage). Since he couldn't be bothered to be a father and sees nothing wrong with that, I need to do something to stop him fecking up my kids lives as he did mine.

MG (in really really angry mode)

I doubt if he would get so far as going to court. In any event hearsay evidence does not go far. I would recommend that you document everything in a sort of dossier. This way you will be prepared for the future and you have something tangible to show a lawyer.

[PerlOfWisdom]

Sounds like my father. He's an NHS support guy and likes to poke around in our medical records!

That's highly illegal - he can lose his security clearance and his job - maybe more.

[Pondlife]

There's some government discussion here if you can be bothered to read it all.

http://www.publications.parliament.u...t/60118h02.htm

Sorry about your situation though.

[MrsGoof]

- but I would like to see be careful. Your children may see things differently. You really should let them make up their own mind.But you will go ahead and ignore me anyway...

I understand that, they are too you at the moment, but I will give them unbiased choice when they are older (11 ish).

btw: my Father-in-law was your (you are the real Andrew Neil artn't you) chaufeur , and the things he's told me about you and that 'non existent' GF well...

back to coding 'badly' now.

Thanks

MG

[TheMonkey]

It's a Serious question?

I've just met up with the old man and his head is so far up his own ar** that he just can't see that other pople have feelings and opinions.

So can I divorce ,or similar? The main reason is I suspect he will start legal proceedings to have acess to my kids (he may use his public profile to gain advantage). Since he couldn't be bothered to be a father and sees nothing wrong with that, I need to do something to stop him fecking up my kids lives as he did mine.

MG (in really really angry mode)

Sounds like my father. He's an NHS support guy and likes to poke around in our medical records!

Yes you can divorce. Don't forget that his public profile (as you quote) can also be damaged as well as used to his advantage

Having an arsehole parent myself, I wish you the best of luck. Give him what he deserves.

[SallyAnne]

I'm sure I have heard of granparents taking parents to court so that they can have access to thier grandchildren. Are you sure about this??

They've done it in special circumstances where their sun/daughter has died, and the remaining parent doesn't want them to be involved.

[Ardesco]

Grandparents have no rights in law to see their grandchildren. Once you are over 18 you can do what you want - youir parents have no effect.

I'm sure I have heard of granparents taking parents to court so that they can have access to thier grandchildren. Are you sure about this??

[milanbenes]

feck me,

is that true...

'you got him to be an effective parent for 2 years whilst you and your other half worked in Oz, therefore effictively making him a guardian',

you and your Mrs went to Oz for two years and left the kids with your Dad ?




blimey !

Milan.

[SallyAnne]

It's a Serious question?

I've just met up with the old man and his head is so far up his own ar** that he just can't see that other pople have feelings and opinions.

So can I divorce ,or similar? The main reason is I suspect he will start legal proceedings to have acess to my kids (he may use his public profile to gain advantage). Since he couldn't be bothered to be a father and sees nothing wrong with that, I need to do something to stop him fecking up my kids lives as he did mine.

MG (in really really angry mode)

Oh god - you poor thing

I dont think grandparents have a legal right to see their grandkids do they? There has definately been many cases of divorcing parents in America, but I'm sure its with the under 18's.

I really dont think he's got any power to demand to see your kids.

[BrilloPad]

It's a Serious question?

I've just met up with the old man and his head is so far up his own ar** that he just can't see that other pople have feelings and opinions.

So can I divorce ,or similar? The main reason is I suspect he will start legal proceedings to have acess to my kids (he may use his public profile to gain advantage). Since he couldn't be bothered to be a father and sees nothing wrong with that, I need to do something to stop him fecking up my kids lives as he did mine.

MG (in really really angry mode)

Grandparents have no rights in law to see their grandchildren. Once you are over 18 you can do what you want - youir parents have no effect.

You have nothing to worry about - but I would like to see be careful. Your children may see things differently. You really should let them make up their own mind.But you will go ahead and ignore me anyway...

[boredsenseless]

It's a Serious question?

I've just met up with the old man and his head is so far up his own ar** that he just can't see that other pople have feelings and opinions.

So can I divorce ,or similar? The main reason is I suspect he will start legal proceedings to have acess to my kids (he may use his public profile to gain advantage). Since he couldn't be bothered to be a father and sees nothing wrong with that, I need to do something to stop him fecking up my kids lives as he did mine.

MG (in really really angry mode)

He doesn't have any legal right to access unless he can prove that he has performed a level of care to that child equal to that of a parent in the past. i.e. you got him to be an effective parent for 2 years whilst you and your other half worked in Oz, therefore effictively making him a guardian

[milanbenes]

blimey !

Milan.