The Contractor (Kenny Rogers)

[MarillionFan]

I think you'll find, most of you fall into this song.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so ******' special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I wanna a perfect body
I wanna a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so ******' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

She's running out again,
She's running out
She's run run run run

Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so ******' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.

[PurpleGorilla]

Fancy doing a special guest slot?

No chance lol!

[vetran]

Now look at them boomers that's the way you do it
You rent BTLs to Generation Y
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV's

See the little faggot with the Zimmer and 4 flats
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's a millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchens deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV's


I shoulda earned to buy a flat
I shoulda learned to rent them drums
Look at that mama, she got Buy to lets in Ballymena
Man we could have some fun
And he's up there, what's that? Rental Income?

Evicting those in arrears like a lordee
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

[Martin Scroatman]

Fancy doing a special guest slot?

[PurpleGorilla]

The Contractor (Based on 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers)

On a warm summer’s eve
On a train bound from London
I met up with a contractor
We were both too tired to tweet
So we took turns on LinkedIn
At the windows on the tablet
The boredom overtook us
And he began to speak

He said, “Son, I’ve made a life
Out of writing software pages
Knowin what the codes were
By the way they that they compiled
If you don’t mind me a sayin
I can see you’re out of Facebook
For a taste of your Starbucks
I’ll give you some advice

So I handed him my grande
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a handkerchief
And he asked me for a mint
And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
He said “If you’re gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right

You’ve got to know how to grow them
Know when to code them
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your billings
When you’re sitting with a client
There’ll be time enough for counting
When the client’s gone

Now every contractor knows
That the secret to surviving
Is knowing what the client will pay
And knowing what’s too steep
Cause every contracts a winner
And every agent’s a loser
And the best that you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep

And when he finished speakin’
He went back to his tablet
Crushed out his grande cup
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The Contactor he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep

You’ve got to know when to throw them
Know when to code them
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your billings
When you’re sitting with a client
There’ll be time enough for counting
When the client’s gone