Reply to: Crap Job of the Day

[PurpleGorilla]

Only if they want to attract boomers out of their £1.7m detached houses.

I thought they only came out at night to prey on the weak and the young?

[DimPrawn]

Must be a typo. £80/hr ?

Only if they want to attract boomers out of their £1.7m detached houses.

[PurpleGorilla]

Computer People are working with a market leading client based in the East Midlands. They are a fast growing company in the heart of the city. They require a, delivery focused, confident, dynamic and committed Front End developer to join the team for a 3-6 month contract.

There can be flexibility to work from home!

Key Skills:
* Great attention to detail, and a strong understanding for design.
* Understands the importance of clinical fine-tuning in the latter stages of build.
* Can work confidently independently
* Motivated to work on an end-to-end project (creating the initial responsive framework, based on design provided, to adding all content)
* Enjoys working in a collaborative environment
* Will be working with a digital designer - starting build with mock-up in-hand, which is refined as more information materialises
* Strong HTML, CSS/LESS and Javascript
* Strong Responsive Build experience
* Ability to comfortably build custom rich (content/design/functionality) responsive pages from scratch, based on designs provided (using media queries, not a template framework)

If you are interested in this role please apply using the link below with your updated CV.

Alternatively, you can contact me directly on 01159485720 for a confidential chat.
LocationEast Midlands, UK
IndustryIT
Duration3-6 Months
Start DateASAP
Rate£80.00 per day
Employment BusinessComputer People
ContactRabab Sana
ReferenceJS-381389-B
Posted Date26/08/2015 19:20:03
Permalinkhttp://www.jobserve.com/EUUlk

I mean 80 notes a day, WTF, you'd be better off flipping burgers at Maccy D's or stacking shelves at Lidl!

Must be a typo. £80/hr ?

[DimPrawn]

Just got this emailed:

Essential Skills

+5 years of experience with SAP CRM
ability to read
Extensive knowledge of service processes
Hands-on experience in customizing
Pricing and Action Framework experience

Can you read that out for me?

[Eirikur]

Just got this emailed:

Essential Skills

+5 years of experience with SAP CRM
ability to read
Extensive knowledge of service processes
Hands-on experience in customizing
Pricing and Action Framework experience

[LondonManc]

Free food. Is that a benefit though?

Linked to sick pay nqat

[WTFH]

Have just looked her up on linkedin. So, she's a psychologist who has been working in recruiting for just over a year, but describes herself in terms of the people she is trying to recruit, not based on who she is.
...and she claims to know more than anyone else about MS Dynamics.


Well, if you do know that much about it, why aren't you consulting on it, rather than working in recruitment?
And when have you built up this knowledge, cause you've never done a day's real work in your life - straight out of uni into recruitment.




(Can you tell I'm in a grump today?)

[DimPrawn]

In the heart of the city? East Midlands is not a city. It's all villages isn't it?

Leicester. What do we know about Leicester that might attract low rates?

[NibblyPig]

In the heart of the city? East Midlands is not a city. It's all villages isn't it?

[SlipTheJab]

So, for £80 they aren't expecting much work (or high quality work), that makes me think - agree to do the job WFH full time, and do it for an hour a day in the evening - if you are staying in a hotel 4 nights a week, it will give you something to do.


Hey presto, second contract for MyCo, and an increase in your daily rate.




Great attention to detail, and a strong understanding for design. Based on the detail of the rate I understand you aren't expecting much.
Understands the importance of clinical fine-tuning in the latter stages of build. At the latter stage of the day my work is fine
Can work confidently independently. I am confident I can work from home/hotel on my own.
Motivated to work on an end-to-end project (creating the initial responsive framework, based on design provided, to adding all content). You've read this in a marketing manual, haven't you, Raban?
Enjoys working in a collaborative environment. Yup, I'll sit in the hotel bar doing the work sometimes.
Will be working with a digital designer - starting build with mock-up in-hand, which is refined as more information materialises. So, you've off-shored the development but you now need someone who has a bit of skill to fix your low-cost clusterf....
Strong HTML, CSS/LESS and JavaScript. I've posted on facebook before, that should be skills enough based on the rate
Strong Responsive Build experience. We put an extension on the house 3 years ago, that was a build experience.
Ability to comfortably build custom rich (content/design/functionality) responsive pages from scratch, based on designs provided (using media queries, not a template framework). Another one from your marketing manual, Raban, given that it says the same thing in 3 different ways. You are supposed to take the sentence and choose the words you need to use, not put them all in.

It takes some b@lls to advertise a role requiring skills beyond packing boxes at such a crap rate, and then to try and big it up like its a £600 a day contract, hilarious , Admit its a crap rate and you want a monkey in to bang their fist on the keyboard and you may get someone.

[SlipTheJab]

Free food. Is that a benefit though?

Chicken Dippers!

[WTFH]

So, for £80 they aren't expecting much work (or high quality work), that makes me think - agree to do the job WFH full time, and do it for an hour a day in the evening - if you are staying in a hotel 4 nights a week, it will give you something to do.


Hey presto, second contract for MyCo, and an increase in your daily rate.




Great attention to detail, and a strong understanding for design. Based on the detail of the rate I understand you aren't expecting much.
Understands the importance of clinical fine-tuning in the latter stages of build. At the latter stage of the day my work is fine
Can work confidently independently. I am confident I can work from home/hotel on my own.
Motivated to work on an end-to-end project (creating the initial responsive framework, based on design provided, to adding all content). You've read this in a marketing manual, haven't you, Raban?
Enjoys working in a collaborative environment. Yup, I'll sit in the hotel bar doing the work sometimes.
Will be working with a digital designer - starting build with mock-up in-hand, which is refined as more information materialises. So, you've off-shored the development but you now need someone who has a bit of skill to fix your low-cost clusterf....
Strong HTML, CSS/LESS and JavaScript. I've posted on facebook before, that should be skills enough based on the rate
Strong Responsive Build experience. We put an extension on the house 3 years ago, that was a build experience.
Ability to comfortably build custom rich (content/design/functionality) responsive pages from scratch, based on designs provided (using media queries, not a template framework). Another one from your marketing manual, Raban, given that it says the same thing in 3 different ways. You are supposed to take the sentence and choose the words you need to use, not put them all in.

[DimPrawn]

The market will give them the candidates they deserve.

[DimPrawn]

Factored in sick days/holiday/pension/training etc?

Free food. Is that a benefit though?

[SlipTheJab]

McDonald's Pay, Salaries | Indeed.co.uk

Maybe not.

Factored in sick days/holiday/pension/training etc?