Getting better at spotting dodgy gigs

[suityou01]

<ignores previous unpleasantness and gently tips cap to mod>

So the ClientCo has now come round to realising that putting internal rookies on the project may put him on a collision course with deadlines. Progress, but why are folks so slow to see this?

So they want to interview next week. But the cutoff for the training course they would like me to complete is this week.

Once again it's back into neutral while the poor agent goes back to them.

Does it really have to be this hard? Dependancy A is the training course. This is now critical path, and your interview deliverable and contract offer deliverable both have this dependency.

[NotAllThere]

There's close to the knuckle banter, and then there's out and out, vicious personal abuse. Sometimes the line is quite fine, especially with some individuals. Three posts that crossed that line have been removed.

[NibblyPig]

This means that someone has consciously made this decision. This in my mind means they are mental, and the project is on a collision course.

You must be new to IT.

Every company I've ever worked at has made terrible, terrible decisions. As a permie I'd be very vocal and work really hard to keep them from doing incredibly stupid things, such as:

Director: Wouldn't it be cool if instead of a dropdown to select a product, we had this cool carousel like in a bookshop and they could spin it around?
Entire dev team: Err, no, that would be a bad idea because [reasons], none of us know flash either.
Director: So you're saying it'd have to be in flash, maybe we should hire a flash developer.
Entire dev team: What did you not hear what we said this is a terrible idea.
Director: Okay thanks for your input guys
<a week later>
Dev team lead: So the director just finished interviewing a flash developer and really wants to hire him
Entire dev team: <quits>

"We've hired you to do some ASP.NET but the project template/spec isn't quite ready yet" --> "Oh we're really sad to see you quit (permie job) after 3 months of testing (killmenow) because the project still isn't ready yet"

"I see you've joined the company and it's your first programming job, and in 6 months you've learned asp.net, rewritten half our code, and automated so much stuff we've had to lay off a full time member of staff... Well you'll be pleased to know I'm happy to give you a raise of £500... Oh god I can't believe you're handing in your notice this is going to be a huge pain for the board"

[aoxomoxoa]

Pimp needs a developer with XYZ skill, which is incredibly rare here in the UK. I don't have this skill, but have many many many years in a very very similar product.

I was thinking about doing the training course and have some budget in the training kitty. Pimps client has said this would be acceptable. I have experience in other similar products and have successfully cross trained before in a short space of time.

Today client co have decided to fill the role internally....

Was that when they learnt you were the candidate being put forward?

[suityou01]

It's been ages since I last slept with Suity's nan. She popped a hip last time, but when she takes her teeth out, she's No 1.

You mean you're her beloved "button mushroom"?

[MarillionFan]

No idiot is worth pushing the mercury up. My ole nan used to say 10 deep breaths and count to 10.

That will be the most the fat feck MF lasts in bed, innit?

It's been ages since I last slept with Suity's nan. She popped a hip last time, but when she takes her teeth out, she's No 1.

[FatLazyContractor]

My ole nan used to say 10 deep breaths and count to 10.

That will be the most the fat feck MF lasts in bed, innit?

[suityou01]

What do you think it is going to collide with?

Hi caller, thanks for your question.

I think to get to the nub of this we need to get back to basics. First lets start with the term "Project".

A project is a temporary organisation, within an organisation, that exists to bring about change. Usually this project has given parameters such as quality expectations, a deadline (or deadlines as is the case in phased delivery) and possibly and not that seldom a cost maximum or "budget".

If you hire rookies and train then up, and then put them into your project without stabilisers, water wings, frequent nappy changes and good quality nap time with rusks and stage 2 milk, then a number of planned failings can occur.

Firstly, the quality of the output will slip. Possibly below expectations, resulting in a collision with those responsible for signing off.

Secondly, with partial re-writes and much "trial and error", the original deadlines may have to slip, resulting in a collision for those responsible for signing off. Usually this involves going for more budget, hiring contractors to bail the project out of the tulipe etc etc.

Thirdly, if a poorly written deliverable does somehow slip past those responsible for signing off, there would be a greater cost of ownership and you need dedicated people to babysit the thing in production. Again running into a collision with the frustrated end users, and building a reputation for the product and vendor that will never be lost. This is probably the most expensive hit the project can take.

[suityou01]

Just back from a month in the US, last two weeks vacation in Florida. Ask me the question again at the end of the week after I've spent it dealing with idjiots at work.

No idiot is worth pushing the mercury up. My ole nan used to say 10 deep breaths and count to 10.

[MarillionFan]

What do you think it is going to collide with?

Hadron?

[MarillionFan]

Benched since June, but AtW won't let me look for gigs during the summertime.

How's your blood pressure?

Just back from a month in the US, last two weeks vacation in Florida. Ask me the question again at the end of the week after I've spent it dealing with idjiots at work.

[GlenW]

What do you think it is going to collide with?

[suityou01]

You on the bench again.

#Areyousureyourecutouttobeacontractor

Benched since June, but AtW won't let me look for gigs during the summertime.

How's your blood pressure?

[MarillionFan]

You on the bench again.

#Areyousureyourecutouttobeacontractor

[suityou01]

Pimp needs a developer with XYZ skill, which is incredibly rare here in the UK. I don't have this skill, but have many many many years in a very very similar product.

I was thinking about doing the training course and have some budget in the training kitty. Pimps client has said this would be acceptable. I have experience in other similar products and have successfully cross trained before in a short space of time.

Today client co have decided to fill the role internally. This means taking some devs, sending them on a training course and then expecting them to "hit the ground running".

It's a good plan, except that once you switch from regular development to BPM, without at least 18 months solid experience of building business processes, you are going to be making rookie mistakes with no one on hand to help you learn the error of yours ways. A big part of my business is re-writing pap written by inexperienced hacks.

So the cost of the training, and then the technical debt they will rack up from day 1 is considerably large. This means that someone has consciously made this decision. This in my mind means they are mental, and the project is on a collision course.

So I concur this would be a nightmare gig, and if they come around in a few weeks looking to warm things up again I will probably price myself out.

What is it with modern companies that they make such bizarre decisions? Would you get this in any other profession?