Reply to: Overweight IT Contractors' weight loss diary: day 1

[Ardesco]

Yeah but pigs normally get ring worm, not the sort of worm I really want. A good old tapeworm will do me fine.

[DaveB]

I've been eating blue steak (virtually raw) but still not managed to get me a beef tapeworm to aid in my easy slimming quest. Still on the bright side since I don't have one there is no change of it growing up my oesophagus and jumping at at random strangers who walk by me...

Go with pork. Pigs are more susceptible to worms than cows.

[Ardesco]

I've been eating blue steak (virtually raw) but still not managed to get me a beef tapeworm to aid in my easy slimming quest. Still on the bright side since I don't have one there is no change of it growing up my oesophagus and jumping at at random strangers who walk by me...

[TheMonkey]

My tapeworm is my friend.

[hyperD]

I mostly eat crap processed foods, crisps, chocolate etc. Drink like a thirsty fish, and I don't do a great deal of exercise. But I feel as fit as a fiddle and I never put on weight.

Ha! Wait until you're over 30.

You'll be looking for those those tapeworms faster than you can say pot belly and prostrate problems.

[AtW]

You forgot that sign it as threaded...

[swamp]

I mostly eat crap processed foods, crisps, chocolate etc. Drink like a thirsty fish, and I don't do a great deal of exercise. But I feel as fit as a fiddle and I never put on weight.

[bogeyman]

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that's driven into frozen winter tulip
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

[AtW]

What about pies?

[DimPrawn]

FFS it doesn't take much to be an adonis like me.

Gym 5 times a week.
Swimming 3 times a week.
Football once a week.

Eat only healthy organic low fat foods (freshly prepared from scratch three times a day), oily fish, lean meat, vegetables, salads and fruit.

Never ever drink alcohol.
Never ever smoke.
Never eat ready meals, processed foods or take-aways.
Never eat any snacks, chocolate, sweets, puds, chips or crisps.

Follow that regime from the age of 5 through to 115.

HTH

Threaded.

[kramer]

well i'm off to the gym tonight... first time in a week..
cardio and weights for two hours should keep the rolls at bay...

[boredsenseless]

Ok, so I am overweight...

Hold on a minute I thought this was titled Overweight Contractor, but AtW doesn't actually do any work so surely it really should be titled

Overweight Chav - just one of the millions watching Richard and Judy right now

[Ardesco]

Go on Mr. Ryan, show us how to kill a man with your nose and a fingernail!!!

[sasguru]

Judging by the interest in this thread, you're all fat feckers. I, on the other hand, am a lean mean fighting machine

HTH

[Ardesco]

erm fun...

Mind i hear thay can make vodka out of pretty much anything (fruit, grain, potatoes, etc) so why not out of fish fins, or finnish people.

Vodka that gives you your daily does of Omega3 Oils, essential for your brain. A fun way to be good to yourself!!

Hmm I may have found a Plan D...