Choosing who to vote for is like hiring a contractor

[MicrosoftBob]

There's not many contractors who get the pay-offs and pension plan that an MP gets when they fail.

Or get to claim a 2nd house on expenses without the revenue getting all APN on them

[TheFaQQer]

MPs are contractors not permies, they have no employment rights and are hired by people (voters) who ooften have no clue about their competence or even what they want them to be competent in, so if the parties were contractors...

There's not many contractors who get the pay-offs and pension plan that an MP gets when they fail.

[Eirikur]

MPs are contractors not permies, they have no employment rights and are hired by people (voters) who ooften have no clue about their competence or even what they want them to be competent in, so if the parties were contractors...
.

They are temps not contractors
They receive an average permie salary, temporary home in London, excellent expenses and lots lots of holiday when parliament breaks up for summer and Christmas

[VectraMan]

very good effort sir. but one exception I have is that Natalie Bennett surely was never pretty? was she?

Maybe in Australia. Different standards there.

[MercladUK]

Labour is more like if Bob Shawadiwadi tried to integrate SAP into say the border agency, got over his depth, and outsourced his work to the SNP because they promised they were cheap

Then he found out they were more interested in winding everyone up on the project and trying to get the organisation to fire them than anything else

OK you started it.

The tories are like Anderson/Accenture/Cap* Management consultants who come in, spend months looking around and saying what needs to change without actually changing anything and then leaving you with a huge consultancy bill.

[MicrosoftBob]

Labour is more like if Bob Shawadiwadi tried to integrate SAP into say the border agency, got over his depth, and outsourced his work to the SNP because they promised they were cheap

Then he found out they were more interested in winding everyone up on the project and trying to get the organisation to fire them than anything else

[FatLazyContractor]

very good effort sir. but one exception I have is that Natalie Bennett surely was never pretty? was she?

I thought about the same

[MercladUK]

MPs are contractors not permies, they have no employment rights and are hired by people (voters) who ooften have no clue about their competence or even what they want them to be competent in, so if the parties were contractors...

The SNP are compliance contractors, this is a relatively rare but growing breed. Compliance (financial, safety,etc) is a growth area and they prosper by causing trouble. Compliance droids want there to be problems that they can fix/solve/prevent/pretend exist. The SNP want to cause as much grief as possible so that everyone else tells them to piss off.

The Greens are women who used to be pretty and used this to get jobs despite not actually being competent. That worked well when they were 23, tough to do at 50, so at interview they gabble nonsense and accuse anyone who points out their incompetence as sexist.

The Welsh nationalists are OS/2 programmers. OS/2 is a great and noble system, it absorbed N years of my life profitably. But no one cares.

UKIP is the sort of project manager you'd love to work for, but would dread employing. They hold meetings in the pub, sign off hours that suit your cashflow rather than attendance and enjoy the trappings of the job far more than actually doing it.

Labour is actually two contractors applying to work together. They are both married, but not to each other and have BSDM sex. The dominatrix is of course the SNP, but she is a junior Java hack and he's a project manager. So she will mess around, but be flameproof because she has the whip hand.

The tories are the sort of contract project manager who really likes taking on screwed up projects, partly because expectations are so low that it's easier to look like they're succeeding and partly because they enjoy imposing discipline perhaps a little too much.

very good effort sir. but one exception I have is that Natalie Bennett surely was never pretty? was she?

[Dominic Connor]

MPs are contractors not permies, they have no employment rights and are hired by people (voters) who ooften have no clue about their competence or even what they want them to be competent in, so if the parties were contractors...

The SNP are compliance contractors, this is a relatively rare but growing breed. Compliance (financial, safety,etc) is a growth area and they prosper by causing trouble. Compliance droids want there to be problems that they can fix/solve/prevent/pretend exist. The SNP want to cause as much grief as possible so that everyone else tells them to piss off.

The Greens are women who used to be pretty and used this to get jobs despite not actually being competent. That worked well when they were 23, tough to do at 50, so at interview they gabble nonsense and accuse anyone who points out their incompetence as sexist.

The Welsh nationalists are OS/2 programmers. OS/2 is a great and noble system, it absorbed N years of my life profitably. But no one cares.

UKIP is the sort of project manager you'd love to work for, but would dread employing. They hold meetings in the pub, sign off hours that suit your cashflow rather than attendance and enjoy the trappings of the job far more than actually doing it.

Labour is actually two contractors applying to work together. They are both married, but not to each other and have BSDM sex. The dominatrix is of course the SNP, but she is a junior Java hack and he's a project manager. So she will mess around, but be flameproof because she has the whip hand.

The tories are the sort of contract project manager who really likes taking on screwed up projects, partly because expectations are so low that it's easier to look like they're succeeding and partly because they enjoy imposing discipline perhaps a little too much.