Help and advice needed!

[Scrag Meister]

Far from being bored, I have a full time job and 3 young children.

Perhaps you are the one who is bored with nothing better to do on a quiet Tuesday afternoon than post on threads started by someone who is a bit out of their water on a contractors forum!

As for the creative writing, well I might even write a book about how to manage a home, career and children while your husband is living the 'life of Riley' overseas with the latest love of his life for weeks at a time!

HAB, consider yourself slapped.

[Harassed]

Far from being bored, I have a full time job and 3 young children.

Perhaps you are the one who is bored with nothing better to do on a quiet Tuesday afternoon than post on threads started by someone who is a bit out of their water on a contractors forum!

As for the creative writing, well I might even write a book about how to manage a home, career and children while your husband is living the 'life of Riley' overseas with the latest love of his life for weeks at a time!

[Harassed]

Excuse me?

[singhr]

hasn't this damsel in distress routine been done to death? you clearly have talents as a creative writer, why not turn them to helping others if you are bored. you'll start to feel good about yourself too. no offence like.

[Harassed]

Thanks very much for the advice about company accounts and CSA, that is useful to know. Also I understand that the legislation is changing next year so that Chils maintenance is based on gross, rather than net salary which will make things a lot more straightforward.

I think we will end up with a court order because of the overseas element, enforcement of that will be another question entirely, but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it I think.

I am just hoping that everything can be sorted out reasonably sensibly without spending £££££'s on solicitors or forensic accountants etc.

[Scrag Meister]

I have been through this whilst renegotiating maintenance during the middle of last year.

I wasn't I hasten to add trying to get away with not supporting my children.

As it happens they had no jurisdication as the initial maintenance detail was done by court order some years ago.

BUT, the CSA do have the ability to look into company accounts of the self employed, so that you can raise this with them as a concern and see where it goes.

[Harassed]

Thanks

Hi and thanks for the replies.

As to Wikivorce - I do use them a lot to be honest but there is very little expertise there regarding self employed/ expat contracts other than to advise REMO. I have read that there is new legislation coming into force in October this year or next that will make it easier to pursue child maintenance claims overseas.....

I have thought about mesher order but any negotiation of a fair settlement is dependent on me having the correct facts in the first place. If he is hiding, not declaring or fudging income earned overseas then I need to know how and why and where it could be going!

I'd really just like to understand how his contract works so I can ask the right questions. He has moved all family money to other bank accounts to which I have no access and basically I have only sketchy information to go on.

Thanks anyway so far - any other contributions much appreciated!

[Flopsy]

Were you ever a director in his UK company?

You will be able to get a copy of his accounts from company's house in the UK for the UK company only.

Do you share an accountant or is the payment to his accountant from your joint account?

Has he had to make any declarations for a mortgage or simila? Provided any paperwork to the bank to prove earnings for a mortgage or a loan?

Where are all of his own and your joint bank statements and paperwork? Can you find them or get access somehow?

Don't be embarassed to ask for support from friends or to think in ways that you consider not "yourself" if he is trying to defraud you.

I have experienced this myself but in my case no kids - so less serious. Wish that I had been able to do more at the time.

Good luck. Wishing you all the best.

[ASB]

Hi all,

I realise that this is probably somewhat unorthodox but I am here seeking advice about divorce. Husband had an affair and despite numerous attempts I'm afraid that I don't really trust him any more.

So........

My husband currently works in Europe, through an umbrella company based in Switzerland for a client in another country. He has worked for the same client in different locations for the past 8 years and I mean all over Europe including the UK.

He also is currently winding down a UK Ltd company which he worked through during 2007-2009. He drew a small salary and regular dividends.

My problem is this:

1. We have 3 young children.
2. He is deliberately understating his net income which CSA calculations are based on.
3. I have a part time job and college course and can in no way keep the family house or children on the salary he is stating that he receives. But we have lived very comfortably for the past 10 years!
4. I know that he receives generous expenses allowance.
5. I know that the umbrella company withhold certain money as 'accrued savings'.
6. I accept that he is trying to reduce his liabilities as much as possible from a tax point of view but this will also disadvantage his children in the long term and allow me little control over my life once the divorce has gone through.
7. CSA have no jurisdiction abroad anyway so I am reliant on what the Court decides or on what we agree provately.

What I really would like help with is to understand how he can be paid a huge gross daily rate and then reduce it by about 2/3?
What information should I ask for, from him, to ensure that I am seeing a true picture of his income and negotiations can be based on?

I am a bit of a numpty with regard to self employment and expat contracts and never thought I would find myself in this situation.

I just want to establish that he pays what is fair for the kids and they don't suffer in any way financially. I have thought about HMRC for advice but really don't want to trigger an investigation or anything because that doesn't benefit anyone.

Anyone been in a similar situation or can offer advice?

Good luck.

CSA do have jurisdiction almost anywhere. In simplistic terms from a CSA point of view you should receive 20% of his net income. The key is getting it declared. You can ask for dividends to be taken into account. You can also appeal. CSA do have jurisdiction abroad, there is quite a lot they can do. Whether they will or not is a different matter.

There are a number of divorce fora out there on which to post questions. Wikivorce is one. Primary concern is the children's housing needs. You give no indication of their ages other than they are young, any settlement will take into account your joint circumstances. Again if you are prepared to divulge your circumstances the Fora at Wikivorce will give indications of what might be appropriate. I understand the house is a big worry, look up Mesher order, may be appropriate for your circumstances. They also have an online calculator - but it's not noted for its likely accuracy.

Personally I think a clean break is always best - but is often not achievable. This can leave you with a mutual tie to each other. Good luck, it will be a difficult journey.

[Harassed]

Hi all,

I realise that this is probably somewhat unorthodox but I am here seeking advice about divorce. Husband had an affair and despite numerous attempts I'm afraid that I don't really trust him any more.

So........

My husband currently works in Europe, through an umbrella company based in Switzerland for a client in another country. He has worked for the same client in different locations for the past 8 years and I mean all over Europe including the UK.

He also is currently winding down a UK Ltd company which he worked through during 2007-2009. He drew a small salary and regular dividends.

My problem is this:

1. We have 3 young children.
2. He is deliberately understating his net income which CSA calculations are based on.
3. I have a part time job and college course and can in no way keep the family house or children on the salary he is stating that he receives. But we have lived very comfortably for the past 10 years!
4. I know that he receives generous expenses allowance.
5. I know that the umbrella company withhold certain money as 'accrued savings'.
6. I accept that he is trying to reduce his liabilities as much as possible from a tax point of view but this will also disadvantage his children in the long term and allow me little control over my life once the divorce has gone through.
7. CSA have no jurisdiction abroad anyway so I am reliant on what the Court decides or on what we agree provately.

What I really would like help with is to understand how he can be paid a huge gross daily rate and then reduce it by about 2/3?
What information should I ask for, from him, to ensure that I am seeing a true picture of his income and negotiations can be based on?

I am a bit of a numpty with regard to self employment and expat contracts and never thought I would find myself in this situation.

I just want to establish that he pays what is fair for the kids and they don't suffer in any way financially. I have thought about HMRC for advice but really don't want to trigger an investigation or anything because that doesn't benefit anyone.

Anyone been in a similar situation or can offer advice?