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Previously on "The only secretary you can shag with a clear conscience!"

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  • LittlestHobbo
    replied
    some of you guys sound like pro's!! been up on charges before?

    Leave a comment:


  • Diver
    replied
    The only secretary you can shag with a clear conscience!

    Can I?

    Leave a comment:


  • Turion
    replied
    You can pay her about £450/month tax/NI free and it counts towards her OAP.

    Leave a comment:


  • blacjac
    replied
    Originally posted by Sockpuppet View Post
    I look forward to the "everything was functioning down below and now she's divorcing me and screwing me rotten in the courts".

    Regards,
    Sockpuppet

    CUKs resident bitter person
    I thought that was BrilloPad?

    Leave a comment:


  • Sockpuppet
    replied
    Originally posted by LouC View Post
    So, i'm newly married, and we're relocating, and the missus is going to be out of work for a while, possibly quite a while if everything's functioning *down below*
    I look forward to the "everything was functioning down below and now she's divorcing me and screwing me rotten in the courts".

    Regards,
    Sockpuppet

    CUKs resident bitter person

    Leave a comment:


  • blacjac
    replied
    Hmmm, maybe there is a plan B as a legal advisor for ladies who offer these services.....


    Leave a comment:


  • ASB
    replied
    Originally posted by blacjac View Post
    Not quite (again)..

    You can offer the services for money in private, but not public.

    Public solicitation for this particular service is illegal I believe, but how the hell would you solicit in private?
    Sorry I meant in private. Punter enquiring in the street is generally kerb crawling .

    The in private bit is generally covered by the massage parlour (which can often become an illegal brothel of course).

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  • blacjac
    replied
    Originally posted by ASB View Post
    Not quite - you can offer it for money perfectly legally. Here it is the punter who is potentially breaking the law. Very little to do with prostitution itself is illegal - the offecnes are on the periphery. Living off somebody else's immoral earnings. Running a brothel this kind of thing.

    The most common offence committed by prostitutes is almost certainly failing to declare their earnings to HMRC.....
    Not quite (again)..

    You can offer the services for money in private, but not public.

    Public solicitation for this particular service is illegal I believe, but how the hell would you solicit in private?

    Leave a comment:


  • Lewis
    replied
    Originally posted by LouC View Post
    So, i'm newly married, and we're relocating, and the missus is going to be out of work for a while, possibly quite a while if everything's functioning *down below*

    ...so...

    Can I hire her as a secretary and pay her monies in a no way obvious method of extracting cash from my ltd company?
    What are the legal/accounting/revenue man repercussions of this?
    Anyone else in the same boat?

    Thanks!
    Lou
    She can be paid for book keeping/secretarial for sure. No need for her to be company secretary for this. Her salary should reflect the work done at market rate. She can also be a 50% shareholder.

    Overall, the most tax efficient balance is around £5K each salary (so you qualify for state pension but don't actually pay any NI) and rest as dividends up to higher rate bracket (approx £35K gross divs). Any spare cash can be carried to forward to a year where you are not earning so save paying 40% tax.

    But .... many contractors pay more than £5K as salary for insurance/minimum wage/off the HMRC radar reasons so this balance is often not achieved. The biggest gain will be made from making her a shareholder as opposed to paying her a wage as you can save 22.5% of £35K (what you would have to pay as higher rate dividend tax) = £8K.

    Leave a comment:


  • ASB
    replied
    Originally posted by zathras View Post
    I think you will find it has always been legal - it is just offering it for money and looking for business in that line of work that is illegal. I believe paying for the service is legal and accepting payment for the service is equally legal.
    Not quite - you can offer it for money perfectly legally. Here it is the punter who is potentially breaking the law. Very little to do with prostitution itself is illegal - the offecnes are on the periphery. Living off somebody else's immoral earnings. Running a brothel this kind of thing.

    The most common offence committed by prostitutes is almost certainly failing to declare their earnings to HMRC.....

    Leave a comment:


  • LouC
    replied
    I think we've moved off topic here...

    Leave a comment:


  • NickFitz
    replied
    Originally posted by zathras View Post
    I think you will find it has always been legal - it is just offering it for money and looking for business in that line of work that is illegal. I believe paying for the service is legal and accepting payment for the service is equally legal.
    Depends how old she is - the law is strangely inconsistent when it comes to matters determined largely by Daily Mail editorials. For example it's legal to marry and have sex with a sixteen-year-old (with the consent of parents/guardian), but you're not allowed to take a photo of him/her in the buff

    Leave a comment:


  • zathras
    replied
    Originally posted by moorfield View Post
    Has that kind of "work" been decriminalised now? I can't remember.
    I think you will find it has always been legal - it is just offering it for money and looking for business in that line of work that is illegal. I believe paying for the service is legal and accepting payment for the service is equally legal.

    Leave a comment:


  • moorfield
    replied
    Originally posted by blacjac View Post
    If she is legitimately doing work you can pay her the going rate for what she does with no worries at all.
    Has that kind of "work" been decriminalised now? I can't remember.

    Leave a comment:


  • blacjac
    replied
    If she is legitimately doing work you can pay her the going rate for what she does with no worries at all.

    Leave a comment:

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