Reply to: Divorce: How to avoid being a permanent slave to ex?

[BrilloPad]

Yep - as of January.

Financial status of both parties submitted to the court, judgment agreed, job done, consent order approved.

Here's some reading:

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-wh...-consent-order

Think yourself incredibly lucky. It usually is not like that.

[CapnAHAB]

You have never been divorced have you.

Before men are allowed to marry, they should be aware of the consequences of divorce. Effectively, marriage is considered to be for life and a man is expected to support his ex-spouse for life.

Its nice that the courts believe women should not be working. At least one part of the 1950s is still with us.

Yep - as of January.

Financial status of both parties submitted to the court, judgment agreed, job done, consent order approved.

Here's some reading:

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-wh...-consent-order


eDIT - it was probably the most amicable divorce ever, so I had no problems getting the forms completed and agreed. In this instance, could be difficult for the OP

[BrilloPad]

Surely they just need to get a consent order agreed, then thats that?

You have never been divorced have you.

Before men are allowed to marry, they should be aware of the consequences of divorce. Effectively, marriage is considered to be for life and a man is expected to support his ex-spouse for life.

Its nice that the courts believe women should not be working. At least one part of the 1950s is still with us.

[CapnAHAB]

Surely they just need to get a consent order agreed, then thats that?

[BrilloPad]

If by that you mean screaming like a banshee until no one can take any more when she doesn't get her own way, then I suppose you are right.

And I have been telling people not to get married since I joined CUK.

I also tell people not to use any tax schemes.

No-one listens to either....

[MPwannadecentincome]

Would be good if you are able to reply to this thread, or PM me, when/if your case gets sorted, if you don't mind?

There is nothing to sort out the final court case was 2 years ago she just never accepted the ruling so is behaving accordingly.

If you want more detailed advice go to wikivorce.com

[Gibbon]

He has to force to look for another income stream. Go poor, take some permie role in the same field so you keep the skills for later and max contridute into the pension scheme. If questioned just say divorce stress caused a mini-meltdown, maybe visit the GP with mild depression. By the sound of her she will either meet and marry someone else for income or more unlikely support herself. If she remarries, he's off the hook.

Also worth considering is giving her all the house for a clean break, that's what I did many years ago, then just CSA payments with the current recommendations being not as punitive any more.

[northernladyuk]

Only way to avoid it is to never get married...

I'd say you're safe enough on that score.

[SueEllen]

Only way to avoid it is to never get married...

If you have kids you still have to pay for them whether you are married or not.

In theory you don't have to pay for any of your ex-partner's living expenses in practice the kids need somewhere to live, food to eat, clothes to wear and someone to take care of them.

If you want to completely escape your responsibilities either be poor or feck off abroad.

If you can't and don't want the financial tulip to be all on you get with a partner richer than you.

[AtW]

Only way to avoid it is to never get married...

[SueEllen]

Yes, I read about that case too (Graham Mills told to up ex-wife's money after she spent it | Daily Mail Online). This is what has got my brother so worried. She can basically do whatever she wants, run up as much debt as she wants, safe in the knowledge that he will have to pick up the tab. Crazy unfair legal system.

Would be good if you are able to reply to this thread, or PM me, when/if your case gets sorted, if you don't mind?


Thanks for the tips everyone.

If he were to take a lower-paid job, would he have to supply evidence to the court of unsuccessful applications and responses for roles similar to his current one?



If by that you mean screaming like a banshee until no one can take any more when she doesn't get her own way, then I suppose you are right.

Seriously it's not hard to screw up interviews.

Besides if the point of the lower paying job is to spend time with his child while he's growing up it's worth doing. After all she can work as well.

[jj78]

The maria mills case seems to show there is no escape.

Yes, I read about that case too (Graham Mills told to up ex-wife's money after she spent it | Daily Mail Online). This is what has got my brother so worried. She can basically do whatever she wants, run up as much debt as she wants, safe in the knowledge that he will have to pick up the tab. Crazy unfair legal system.

Would be good if you are able to reply to this thread, or PM me, when/if your case gets sorted, if you don't mind?


Thanks for the tips everyone.

If he were to take a lower-paid job, would he have to supply evidence to the court of unsuccessful applications and responses for roles similar to his current one?

Women run circles round men in divorce as they communicate better.

If by that you mean screaming like a banshee until no one can take any more when she doesn't get her own way, then I suppose you are right.

[MPwannadecentincome]

Sounds similar to what I went through.

Unfortunately you need 3 court hearings before judge can rule a final settlement. but lawyers are already rich by then.

My ex would not accept that final settlement. I think she has run down her share of the equity as fast as possible so that she can go back to court and claim she can't put a roof over the kid's head. If she does that I will simply tell the judge let me house the kids.

The maria mills case seems to show there is no escape. Except perhaps leaving the country but that's unfair on the kids.

[BrilloPad]

Not really a professional contracting question. Can we move to General?

Did your accountant suggest that?

[Platypus]

If he's prepared for some hardship.

Quit contracting due to stress, get a lower paid job, sell his house to pay some debts, rent somewhere. Going bankrupt might be a good option, although to be fair that could ruin his chances of contracting again. He'll need some pretty hefty debts to go BR but it sounds like that might not be a problem in the near future.

Or, get a fellow contractor to hire him as a lowly employee. His billings go in to the company which he might be able to extract at some point in the future.

Basically, he needs to be much poorer now and for several years, to have so little that there's little for her to take, and no assets.

This is all nasty, but do-able.

Get clauses written in to the divorce papers that spousal maint stops if she re-marries.

Having said all that, I agree that the child should be the priority.