Pukka dudes and inventors of the rudes.

[darmstadt]

That naughty old Sappho of Greece
Said, 'What I prefer to a piece,
Is to have my pudenda
Rubbed hard by the enda
The little pink nose of my niece

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A thrifty old man named McEwen
Enquired, 'Why bother with screwing?
It's safer and neater
To finger your peter
And besides you can see what your're going

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In Brighton she was Bridget.
She was Patsy in Perth.
In Cambridge she was Clarissa,
The grandest girl on Earth.
In Stafford she was Stella,
The best of all the bunch.
But down on his expense account
She was petrol, oil and lunch.

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A Printers Rhyme

There are certain rude words we omit
It would b****r our art
To print the word f**t
And we'd never, just never say s**t !

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The lecherous Count of Swoboda
Would not pay a whore what he owed her
So with great savoir-faire
She stood on a chair
And pissed in his whiskey and soda