Just got this from a non uk mate. Made me laugh.
And cry.
THIS ENGLAND ! ! !
************************
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
************************************************** *****
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to
know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm
home in Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of
the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting an Rastafarian cultural festival
special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing
"We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingston laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant
has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council .
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful agribiz company
[funded by the EU].
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10m.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operations and terrorise the community.
THE END
It's called --- " THIS ENGLAND ! "
************************
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
************************************************** *****
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to
know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm
home in Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of
the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting an Rastafarian cultural festival
special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing
"We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingston laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant
has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council .
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful agribiz company
[funded by the EU].
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10m.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operations and terrorise the community.
THE END
It's called --- " THIS ENGLAND ! "
And cry.
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