Your mother's so fat.....

[supremepods]

1.Your Mother's So Fat....when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
2.Your Mother's So Fat....her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
3.Your Mother's So Fat....when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.
4.Your Mother's So Fat....her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
5.Your Mother's So Fat....all the restaurants in town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Mother".
6.Your Mother's So Fat....when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
7.Your Mother's So Fat....when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
8.Your Mother's So Fat....I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
9.Your Mother's So Fat....her nickname is "DAAAMN!!"
10.Your Mother's So Fat....she's on BOTH sides of the family.
11.Your Mother's So Fat....when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
12.Your Mother's So Fat....when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
13.Your Mother's So Fat....when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
14.Your Mother's So Fat....she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
15.Your Mother's So Fat....she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of petrol!