test please delete

[n5gooner]

thought I'd look up Templar knights today, so you can all learn about that....

[n5gooner]

I want a plan B, I just cant come up with a viable one.

I've got one, but can't do anything with it until the divorce come through!

[Clownio]

G

gammon and pineapple n. See ham-on-ham.

gammon flaps See beef curtains. Also gammon goal-posts.

gap-lapper n. A three-wheeled trike. Or possibly one who runs circuits around a jumper shop.

Gary Glitter rhym. slang Arse. From Gary Glitter - sh1tter. See also council gritter.

gazoo n. Arse; bum.

gazungas n. Large breasts.

geetle n. A bumbob. The little pointed bit that hangs outside your rusty sheriff's badge after you've had a Gladys (qv),

gender bender n. Effeminate, flowery male of varying or obscure sexual orientation e.g. Marc Almond out of Soft Cell.

genie rub n. TO buff up a skin lantern until you are granted three sticky wishes.

get off at Edge Hill euph. Coitus interruptus; withdrawal before ejaculation. (Edge Hill is the last station before Liverpool Lime Street.) Aus. get off at Redfern. Scot. Paisley. Lond. Clapham. Newcastle Gateshead etc.

get up them stairs The cry from a chauvinist male to his wife which indicates that he has finished eating, drinking and watching football on telly, and now wishes to retire, to the bedroom to make an ungainly and flatulent attempt at sexual intercourse.

get wood v. To achieve an erection. As in: "Sorry love, I'm having trouble getting wood". Also get string.

Ghandi's flip-flops adj. Descriptive of the dryness of a nun's Berkeley hunt.

ghost jizz n. The non-existent result of a flash in the pan (qv). A map of Atlantis.

ghost sh1t n. A stool or dump of which there is no trace when you stand up and turn round to admire it.

gimp n. One who likes rubber-wear.

gipper n. A two-bagger (qv). An ugly woman.

Gladys rhym. slang. To defecate. From Gladys Knight - sh1te.

globes n. Lamp-bulb shaped oomlaaters (qv). Also ~ of joy.

go all the way to Cockfosters v. To have a full portion of greens, with plenty of summer cabbage. As in "I thought I'd have to go home via the Billy Mill roundabout, but she took me all the way to Cockfosters."

gobble interj. A noise made by turkeys.

gobbler n. An eager fellator / fellatrix.

golden shower euph. A vile sex act; unfortunate mix-up in a crowded German bathroom.

gold watch n. A small clock or chronometer, made of precious metal which leaps from the throat after a cough. Also docker's omelette (qv); greb; shekel; prairie oyster.

golfball arse adj. Condition of the buttocks after sitting too long on a beaded car seat on a bank holiday.

golf tees n. Bruce Lees (qv).

gonga n. A docker's omelette (qv) that occasionally has to be swallowed rather than served up.

goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offend a vicar or grandparent.

grassy knoll 1. n. Site where the second gunman stood during the assassination of J.F.Kennedy. 2. euph. Ladygarden (qv).

Greek sauna See Dutch oven.

greyhound n. A very short skirt, ie. only one inch from the 'hare'.

Grimsby meal n. An unpleasant northern fish supper.

grin like a w@nking Jap sim. To grin broadly, as a Nissan executive might do as he turned (even more) Japanese (qv) as he neared the vinegar strokes (qv) on his approach to the Billy Mill roundabout (qv).

grogan n. 1. A log; turd. 2. A cute wee Scotch lassie with a twee voice.

gronk n. R.A.F. To have a tulip. "'Bandits at three O'clock,' ejaculated Algie. 'Great!' replied Biggles. 'I've got half an hour to have a big smelly gronk!'" (from 'Biggles Drops his Fudge' by Capt. W.E. Johns).

groodies, grudies n. Lady's top bollocks. (from 'A Clockwork Orange').

grow a tail v. To defecate; build a log cabin (qv).

grub See biffin.

grummer abbr. Grumblemag; adult art pamphlet, found torn up under hedges by 12-year-old schoolboys.

grundle US n. Barse (qv).

grunts n. The type of undesirable bints (qv) who appear in reader's wives pages.

guard's van n. Of pulling a train (qv), the least desirable position in the queue. As in: "Bagsy I'm not in the guard's van fellas".

gubbs n. Thruppenny bits.

guff v. To fart; let off.

guff cloud n. The noxious vapour produced by guffing.

gunt n. Can. Of the larger woman, when the gut and c**t become one indistinguishable bulge below the belt. A superpoond.

guru palm and the five pillars of wisdom n. A w@nking spanner; a c**t scratcher (qv).

gusset 1. n. The 'bottom-of-the-pants' area of a woman; the fairy hammock's drip tray. 2. coll. n. Flange; totty; fanny; blart. As in, "I went up town last night and you couldn't get moved for top end gusset."

gusset typist euph. A woman who masturbates.

gusset nuzzler euph. Lesbian.

gutted hamster, gutted possum, gutted rabbit n. See giblets.

guy-rope n. A banjo. The flap of skin connecting the fly-sheet (qv) to the trouser tent pole.

gwibble n. A dribbly underpowered ejaculation, opposite of pwa.

[n5gooner]

G

gammon and pineapple n. See ham-on-ham.

gammon flaps See beef curtains. Also gammon goal-posts.

gap-lapper n. A three-wheeled trike. Or possibly one who runs circuits around a jumper shop.

Gary Glitter rhym. slang Arse. From Gary Glitter - sh1tter. See also council gritter.

gazoo n. Arse; bum.

gazungas n. Large breasts.

geetle n. A bumbob. The little pointed bit that hangs outside your rusty sheriff's badge after you've had a Gladys (qv),

gender bender n. Effeminate, flowery male of varying or obscure sexual orientation e.g. Marc Almond out of Soft Cell.

genie rub n. TO buff up a skin lantern until you are granted three sticky wishes.

get off at Edge Hill euph. Coitus interruptus; withdrawal before ejaculation. (Edge Hill is the last station before Liverpool Lime Street.) Aus. get off at Redfern. Scot. Paisley. Lond. Clapham. Newcastle Gateshead etc.

get up them stairs The cry from a chauvinist male to his wife which indicates that he has finished eating, drinking and watching football on telly, and now wishes to retire, to the bedroom to make an ungainly and flatulent attempt at sexual intercourse.

get wood v. To achieve an erection. As in: "Sorry love, I'm having trouble getting wood". Also get string.

Ghandi's flip-flops adj. Descriptive of the dryness of a nun's Berkeley hunt.

ghost jizz n. The non-existent result of a flash in the pan (qv). A map of Atlantis.

ghost sh1t n. A stool or dump of which there is no trace when you stand up and turn round to admire it.

gimp n. One who likes rubber-wear.

gipper n. A two-bagger (qv). An ugly woman.

Gladys rhym. slang. To defecate. From Gladys Knight - sh1te.

globes n. Lamp-bulb shaped oomlaaters (qv). Also ~ of joy.

go all the way to Cockfosters v. To have a full portion of greens, with plenty of summer cabbage. As in "I thought I'd have to go home via the Billy Mill roundabout, but she took me all the way to Cockfosters."

gobble interj. A noise made by turkeys.

gobbler n. An eager fellator / fellatrix.

golden shower euph. A vile sex act; unfortunate mix-up in a crowded German bathroom.

gold watch n. A small clock or chronometer, made of precious metal which leaps from the throat after a cough. Also docker's omelette (qv); greb; shekel; prairie oyster.

golfball arse adj. Condition of the buttocks after sitting too long on a beaded car seat on a bank holiday.

golf tees n. Bruce Lees (qv).

gonga n. A docker's omelette (qv) that occasionally has to be swallowed rather than served up.

goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offend a vicar or grandparent.

grassy knoll 1. n. Site where the second gunman stood during the assassination of J.F.Kennedy. 2. euph. Ladygarden (qv).

Greek sauna See Dutch oven.

greyhound n. A very short skirt, ie. only one inch from the 'hare'.

Grimsby meal n. An unpleasant northern fish supper.

grin like a w@nking Jap sim. To grin broadly, as a Nissan executive might do as he turned (even more) Japanese (qv) as he neared the vinegar strokes (qv) on his approach to the Billy Mill roundabout (qv).

grogan n. 1. A log; turd. 2. A cute wee Scotch lassie with a twee voice.

gronk n. R.A.F. To have a tulip. "'Bandits at three O'clock,' ejaculated Algie. 'Great!' replied Biggles. 'I've got half an hour to have a big smelly gronk!'" (from 'Biggles Drops his Fudge' by Capt. W.E. Johns).

groodies, grudies n. Lady's top bollocks. (from 'A Clockwork Orange').

grow a tail v. To defecate; build a log cabin (qv).

grub See biffin.

grummer abbr. Grumblemag; adult art pamphlet, found torn up under hedges by 12-year-old schoolboys.

grundle US n. Barse (qv).

grunts n. The type of undesirable bints (qv) who appear in reader's wives pages.

guard's van n. Of pulling a train (qv), the least desirable position in the queue. As in: "Bagsy I'm not in the guard's van fellas".

gubbs n. Thruppenny bits.

guff v. To fart; let off.

guff cloud n. The noxious vapour produced by guffing.

gunt n. Can. Of the larger woman, when the gut and c**t become one indistinguishable bulge below the belt. A superpoond.

guru palm and the five pillars of wisdom n. A w@nking spanner; a c**t scratcher (qv).

gusset 1. n. The 'bottom-of-the-pants' area of a woman; the fairy hammock's drip tray. 2. coll. n. Flange; totty; fanny; blart. As in, "I went up town last night and you couldn't get moved for top end gusset."

gusset typist euph. A woman who masturbates.

gusset nuzzler euph. Lesbian.

gutted hamster, gutted possum, gutted rabbit n. See giblets.

guy-rope n. A banjo. The flap of skin connecting the fly-sheet (qv) to the trouser tent pole.

gwibble n. A dribbly underpowered ejaculation, opposite of pwa.

morning matie, did you see my post about hte job offer ? or shall I re post it ?

[n5gooner]

This article is about the medieval military order

[n5gooner]

The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon (Latin: Pauperes commilitones Christi Templique Solomonici), popularly known as the Knights Templar or the Order of the Temple, were among the most famous of the Christian military orders.[2] The organization, which existed for approximately two centuries in the Middle Ages, was created in the aftermath of the First Crusade of 1096 to ensure the safety of the large numbers of European pilgrims who flowed toward Jerusalem after its conquest.

[Let-Me-In]

Is there anyone home?

[n5gooner]

Is there anyone home?

nod nod

[n5gooner]

Officially endorsed by the church in 1129, the Order became a favored charity across Europe and grew rapidly in membership and power. Templar knights, easily recognisable in their white mantle with a distinct red cross, made some of the best equipped, trained, and disciplined fighting units of the Crusades.[3] Non-warrior members of the Order managed a large economic infrastructure throughout Christendom, innovating many financial techniques that were an early form of banking,[4] and building numerous fortifications across Europe and the Holy Land.

[Clownio]

H

haddock pastie See hairy cheque book.

hair burst n, Premature Ejaculation. When one cant wait and blows his load far too early.

hairy cheque book See hairy cup.

hairy cup See hairy doughnut.

hairy doughnut See hairy goblet.

hairy goblet See hairy lasso.

hairy lasso See hairy pie.

hairy pie n. A kipper; Velcro triangle (qv).

hairy scallops n. The furry shellfish eaten when bearded clams are out of season.

hairy toffee n. Dangleberries (qv); Kling-ons (qv).

half leapfrog v. To have sex in the doggies (qv) position.

ham howitzer n. A military weapon descended from the pork sword (qv).

ham shank rhyming slang for a Barclays (qv).

ham-on-ham n. The delightful sight of two ladies going at it hammer and tongues.

hamburger shot n. A rear view in a pornographic magazine in which the beef curtains (qv) are visible.

Hampton rhyming slang Penis. Hampton Wick - dick. Also to get your Hampton Court - an accident involving a zip.

hand in the fish bowl n, Getting all fishy or feeding the pony.

hand shandy n. See ham shank.

hand solo n. A solitary hand shandy (qv).

hand-to-gland combat euph. A three-minute, one-man bout of gladitorial combat involving a spam javelin.

hang your hole v. To moon (qv).

hanging salad euph. Wedding tackle (qv).

happy lamp n. Sixth gear stick. As in: "I'm homy. Think I'll give my happy lamp a quick buff.

happy sack euph. Scrotum; scrots; nads.

Happy Shopper 1. n. prop. A cheap'n'cheerless grocery brand. 2. n. A bisexual - one who shops on both sides of the street.

harbour-master n. A stickman (qv). One who has piloted the course of a few tug boats in his time.

harvest festivals 1. euph. One-night stands. ie. one 'who ploughs the field and scatters. 2. n. A pair of well-fitting but comfortable pants, where 'all is safely gathered in.'

Hawaiian muscle f**k n. The act of bagpiping.

head lamps n. Bristols (qv). As in: "Phewf! I wouldn't mind giving her head lamps a rub".

heave a Havana polite euph. Take a dump See also bum cigar.

hedgehog n. A fanny shaved five days ago.

hee 1. Thai n. Minge; hairy cheque book. 2. interj. One of several noises made by laughing gnomes.

hefty-clefty adj. A welly-top; a horse's collar. Descriptive of a very wide Mary.

helmet See bobby's helmet.

Herbie's bonnet See Beetle bonnet.

Hershey highway US euph. See Cadbury Alley et all.

hide the salami euph. A game for two players, one sausage and a hairy pie (qv).

ho' abbr. Whore. A familiar name given to their charges by pimps in floppy hats, fur coats and pink Cadillacs. As in: "Yo! Ho', shake that ass".

hobgoblin n. See bum goblin.

hog's eye n. See Jap's eye.

hole in one euph. Successful penetrative sex without using the hand for guidance.

honey alter n. See honey pot.

honey pot See hairy cheque book.

hoop stretcher n. In kitchens, one who hides the salami (qv) in the tea towel holder (qv).

horatio n. Posh Latin term used by doctors for oral sex on a man.

hornbag n. An extremely attractive woman, ie one who gives you the horn.

horndog n. An extremely unattractive woman, ie. one who loses you the horn.

horse eating oats sim. See feeding the pony. "And David went unto the house of Bathsheba and she had not known her husband Naboth for ages. And David did put his hand down her knickers and lo, it was like a horse eating oats." (Deuteronomy Ch. 6, v 23)

hosebag n. A woman of loose morals. She of bucket fanny (qv).

horizontal jogging euph. Sexual intercourse.

horse's handbrake n. A diamond cutter (qv); a raging bonk-on.

hose monster n. A woman who cannot get enough hosepipes.

hot dog n. An egg delicacy -something of an acquired taste -famously enjoyed by the gay cult actor Divine. v. To eat said morsel, freshly laid.

hot hello n. The warm trickle down the leg that reminds a lady of the recent deposit made into her special bank.

Howard's Way rhyming slang Homosexual. From the tulip BBC TV drama Howard's Way - gay.

huby n. A dobber; a semi-on.

hung like a humming bird n. to have a gut-stick like a Chinese mouse.

hungry arse n. The condition afflicting women in tight jeans whereby a crease in their pants appears to disappear up the crack of their arse.

hymen climbin' v. To be the first man to plant his flag up Mt. Venus.