test please delete

[DS23]

LOL very funny. thanks clownio.

do a southampton. hehehe

[DS23]

8758 a very good performance.

damn right. and there's more coming.

[Clownio]

E

Eartha Kitts rhym. slang tulips; diarrhoea. Also the Brad Pitts.

Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades sim. Austral. A permanently grave, sour expression. First used by Paul Keating to describe Malcolm Fraser when in opposition, but actually describes Jimmy Nail to 'T'.

eating sushi of a barbershop floor sim. Cumulo nimbus.

Eccles snake n. A pen1s with warts.

Edinburgh rhym. slang. A fur burger. From Edinburgh fringe - minge.

egg Mcwhiff n. A particularly sulphurous mid mirning air buffet (qv) produced after breakfasting at a fast food restaurant.

egg-white cannon n. A four inch blue-veined blunderbuss loaded with two balls.

Emmas rhyhming slang Haemorroids. After the brainy media sex pot Emma Freud, daughter of sour faced dog food chef Clement. Also Nobbies (qv).

empty the anaconda euph. To have a piss.

Excalibur n. A magic turd of legendary proportions that rises eerily out of the water of a mist-shrouded toilet.

exhibition position n. Variation on doggy-style sex. The man takes the kneeling position from behind, places one hand on the lady's back and the other jauntily on his hip, then turns and smiles at an imaginary audience, pretending bto be a moustachioed German porn star.

[DS23]

see. told you.

[PRC1964]

Very educational Clownio. Thanks.

[n5gooner]

[alreadypacked]

So I suppose I'd better contribute before I get overtaken...

Another 5* thread in General, what do we have to do to make this 6*

[Clownio]

F

face fannies n. Bugger's grips; sideburns. As sported by 'Rocket' Ron Haslam, Sir Rhodes Boyson and the singer out of Supergrass.

face-painting v. To adorn one's spouse with jelly jewellery (qv).

fadge n. A cross between a fanny and a va**na.

faecal touch n. Opposite of the Midas touch, ie. everything turns to tulip. eg. Clive Sinclair.

fag-hag n. A toothless old crone dressed in sack-cloth who prefers the company of male homosexuals.

fairy hammock n. Panties.

family jewels euph. The knackers; male genitalia.

fanny batter n. Crusty residue found on a hairy pie (qv).

fanny flange n. Clitoris.

fanny-hopper 1. n. A two foot diameter inflatable orange va**na with two handles at the top. 2. euph. A gentleman who hops from one fanny to another. A stickman (qv).

fanny magnet n. A flash car towards the driver of which totty (qv) is attracted.

fanny nanny n. A feminine napkin. A jam rag.

fanny-nosher n. A woman in comfortable shoes who takes the other bus to dine at the Y. A tennis fan (qv).

fanny rat n. 1. Penis. 2. Sexually promiscuous male.

fannytastic adj. Anything wonderful to do with female genitals.

fanoir n. Fr. French insult. "Vous etes une f**king grad fanoir, M. D'Artagnan". (from 'The Three Musketeers' by Alexander Dumas).

farmers rhym. slang Piles. From Farmer Giles.

farting crackers n. Trousers. "When invited to a Black Tie function, the correct mode of attire for a gentleman would be - white dress shirt and collar, cummerbund, black shoes, black dinner jacket and corresponding farting crackers", (from 'Dubrett's Guide to Etiquette', by Buckridge Pottinger).

farting strings n. An imagined part of the body which can be damaged by over exertion through laughter. e.g. 'Hey! Stop it will ya, before I bust me farting strings'.

feck exclm. Ir. f**k. Popularised by Fathers Ted and Jack.

feeding the ducks euph. w**king. From the apparent similarity in hand movements.

feeding the pony v. One handed groping of a lady's toothless gibbon.

felch v. To lick lemon curd out of a tea towel holder (qv).

fertle, ferkyfoodle v. To feed a lady's pony (qv) through her dung hampers (qv).

fight a turkey n. Choke a chicken.

fighter pilot's thumbs n. Chapel hat pegs; pygmies cocks.

fillet-o-fish n. A fanny that is on the menu, but you have to wait four minutes whilst it is prepared.

finger-blessing v. Ferkyfoodling (qv) sans dung hampers (qv).

finsbury bridge See barse.

fire one accross the bows v. A Navel engagement whereby the Pirate of mens' pants withdraws from the battle zone just before the egg-white cannon (qv) shoots its payload.

firey surprise n. To receive a brand spanking new electric fire that you never knew about.

firing blanks v. Post snip ejaculation. e.g. 'You can put the ribticklers away love, I'm firing blanks'.

fish mitten n. Haddock pastie; lab kebab; vertical bacon sandwich (qv).

fish supper euph. chauvinistic Carnival knowledge (qv) to which, by rights, a husband is entitled at the end of the day. See also get up them stairs.

fist magnet n. Someone who deserves a punch in the face.

fitbin interj. A brand new and extremely rude swearword invented by Sweary Mary for the purpose of annoying WHSmiths.

five-finger discount n. A 100% discount given on any goods in a shop by half-inching them rather than offering payment. Much taken advantage of by second rate T.V. celebrities.

five knuckle shuffle euph. A one-handed work out to a Cindy Crawford exercise video.

five-pinter n. A very ugly woman who you would quite happily chat up only after five pints.

fives n. A traditional Etonian game played with four fingers, a thumb and a cock.

fiveskin n. Fourskin.

fizzing at the bung hole euph. To denote sexual arousal in women.

fizzy gravy n. Rusty water. Diahorrea.

flackets n. Labia majori. Beef curtains.

F.L.A.M.E. abbr. Fanny like a mouse's ear.

flange 1. n. fish mitten. 2. n. coll. a group of baboons. 3. n. coll. Fanny; blart; tush.

flash in the pan n. A spooge-free (qv) male orgasm. A cashless money shot.

flat as a kipper's dick adj. Descriptive of unleavened baps.

fleshbombs n. Two large wads of jubbly gelignite packed in a woman's tit pants (qv).

fleshy fugelhorn n. Another musical variation on the bed flute; pink oboe (qv).

float an air biscuit euph. To release a fart.

floater n. 1. Scotch A turd in the pan which will not flush away. 2. Member of the crap 70s soul band, e.g. Larry.

flock of pigeons n. The sound of a loose bowel movement. A Brewer's fart.

flop out n. When the flacid penis protrudes through the bottom of your underpants, often whilst moving from a sitting to standing position.

florins ryhming slang tulips. From the former florin coin, known as 'two bob bits'.

flub 1. v. n. f**k in Flowerpotman language. 2. onomat. The sound of a lady's hat dropping forward.

fluffer n. A female employed on the set of porno movies to stimulate male actors between takes.

flum n. Ladygarden (qv); c**t rug; gorilla salad. Pubes.

flunkey n. A dunky.

fly-sheet n. A fiveskin (qv).

fnarr fnarr! interj. A surpressed and childish exclamation of amusement at the utterence of a double entre.

follow through v. To accidentally soil ones underpants whilst attempting to fart; to obtain russet gusset: drop a pebble (qv).

food's ghost n. An invisible, eerie presence, accompanied by a low humming sound and the stench of death.

frampton 1. n. prop. An overrated seventies singer with a voice like Steven Hawking. 2. n. A fanny fart.

free the tadpoles v. To liberate the residents of one's w**k tanks. to have a tug.

French w**k n. In sophisticated society, a tit w**k; sausage sandwich (qv).

fried eggs n. Small breasts. As in: "Do you fancy that Kate Moss?" - "Naaaah! Tits like fried eggs".

Friend of Dorothy n. Politically correct terminology for a fudge nudger.

frock v. Of lavender marriages, a cosmetic husband. The lesbian's equivalent of a beard (qv).

frog n. A formidable blast from the sp*nk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrog's.

front bottom See fur burger.

frottage cheese n. The sticky end product of a successful act of frottage at, say, a railway station or bus stop.

f**karse n, Cross between a f**kwit and an arsehole.

f**k me shoes n. Shoes worn by a boot (qv).

f**ktulipf**ktulipf**ktulip exclm. Phrase uttered when driving a car through a particularly tight space at too high a speed.

f**kwit n. Simpleton; one of little intelligence; bollock brain.

fud slush n. Scottish fanny batter usually smeared on the face whilst eating a haddock pastie.

fuggit exclm. Ancient Egyptian curse used when denied a British passport.

fun bags n. Breasts; knockers; thruppennies (qv).

funbagtastic exclm. Upon seeing a glorious pair of breasts, one might utter "Funbagtastic!"

funch n. Nooner; afternoon delight; To hide the salami during your dinner-time. From f**k and lunch.

F.U.P.A. abbr. Fat Upper Pussy Area. The bloated lower belly of a woman. A poond (qv). See gunt.

fur burger See front bottom.

furry bicycle stand See fish mitten.

furry letterbox n. An eight inch wide, spring-loaded horizontal va**na.

fuse-wire n. A ginger person's gorilla salad.

Fussells milk 1. n. A thick, sweet condensed milk. 2. n. The contents of the male churns (qv) after prolonged absinence from sexual activity. "A sackcloth shirt in place of silk / My nads like tins of Fussells milk." (from 'The Ballad of Ford Open Prison', by Jonathan Aitken).

futtering v. A trip to Hairyfordshire, A bout of front door work.

[PRC1964]

I'm sure I can get "fire one accross the bows" into the documentation, but "fleshy fugelhorn" will be harder.

[PRC1964]

One chap I worked with years ago used latin words for all the variables he needed.

He claimed it meant he got more repeat contracts because people thought he must be clever to know latin.