Originally posted by Sockpuppet
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Genesis. Muppet
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you dont like Genesis? you whipper snappers have no idea about good music Genesis. Muppet
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Subject: That's What Marketing Is All About
Now you know why I love my job:
MARKETING EXPLAINED
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the
room. You go up to her and say "Hi, I'm great in bed, how
about it?".
That's Direct Marketing.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the
room. You give HER best friend ten dollars. She goes up to
her and says "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how
about it?".
That's Advertising.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the
room. You somehow find her mobile number. You call and chat
her up a while and then say "Hi, I am great in bed, how
about it?"
That's Tele-Marketing.
You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the
room. You recognize her. You walk up to her, refresh her
memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest, "Hi,
I am great in bed, how about it?".
That's Customer-Relationship Management.
You go to a party, you see an attractive girl across the
room. SHE COMES OVER and says "Hi, I hear you're great in bed,
how about it?"
Now THAT is the POWER OF BRANDINGComment
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A Downing Street spokesman has confirmed that in order to meet the
conditions for joining the Euro the phrase 'spending a penny' is not to be
used after the 31st of December 2001.
From this date the correct terminology will be 'euronating'.Comment
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* Passionate kiss, like spider's web, soon lead
* to undoing of fly.
* Virginity like bubble, one ***** all gone.
* Man who run in front of car get tired.
* Man who run behind car get exhausted.
* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man
* give wife upright organ.
* Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways
* going to Bangkok.
* Man with one chopstick go hungry.
* Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
* Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot
* walk.
* Panties not best thing on earth but next to
* best thing on earth.
* War doesn't determine who is right, war
* determines who is left.
* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece
* at night.
* It take many nails to build crib but one
* screw to fill it.
* Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
* Man who lives in glass house should change
* clothes in basement.
* Man who fishes in other man's well often
* catches crabs.
* Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
* Crowded elevator smells different to midget.Comment
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An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird
dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by
his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever
believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his,
a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him
and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by.
they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and
jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink
but instead walked across the water to retrieve the
bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This
continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog
walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but
did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you
notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."Comment
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The Pope arrives at JFK where he's met at the baggage claim by
a driver in a bad suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-
lettered sign that says "Pope". After getting all the Pope's
luggage loaded in the limo, and His Holiness doesn't travel
light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on
the curb.
"Hey, Mr. Pope" says the driver in accented English, "Why have
you not seated yourself in this excellent limo?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let
me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive."
"That is very much against the rules!" protests the driver,
wishing he'd never left Calcutta.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope gets in
behind the wheel. He quickly regrets his decision when, after
clearing the airport, the Pope accelerates the limo to 105 mph.
"Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope," pleads the
worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal.
Then they hear the siren.
"Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license," moans the
driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the
patrolman approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes
back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk
to the Chief," he says to the dispatch.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's
stopped a limo going a hundred and five. "So bust him," said
the Chief. "I think the guy's a big shot," said the cop. "All
the more reason." "No, I mean really a big shot," said the
cop. "What'd ya got there, the Mayor?"
"Bigger." "Governor." "Bigger." "Well," said the Chief, "Who is
it?"
"I don't know", said the cop, "but he's got the Pope driving
for him."Comment
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Sure is quiet in here tonight.Comment
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anyone there?Comment
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I have to go the the church tomorrow at 8pmComment
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Baptism course. Lasts 4 weeks.Comment
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