test please delete

[TheFaQQer]

Just returned from a fruitless shopping trip to Swansea.

With a wet leg to boot...

Prostate playing up again?

[BrilloPad]

The Pope was having a shower. Although he is very strict about the celibacy
rules, he occasionally felt the need to exercise the right wrist, and this
was one of these occasions.

Just as he reached the Papal climax he saw a photographer taking a picture
of the holy seed flying through the air.

"Hold on a minute" said the Pope. "You can't do that. You'd destroy the
reputation of the Catholic Church."

"This picture is my lottery win" said the photographer". "I'll be
financially secure for life."

So, the Pope offered to buy the camera off the photographer, and after lots
of negotiation, they eventually arrived at a figure of two million quid.

The Pope then dried himself off, and headed off with his new camera. He met
his housekeeper, who spotted the camera. "That looks like a really good
camera," she said, "how much did it cost you?"

"Two million quid" replied the Pope.

"TWO MILLION QUID!" said the housekeeper, "They must have seen you
coming!"

[TheFaQQer]

ClientCo site; programme team meeting; 3 project teams present; about 30 people present in conference room; most work in IT; supplier tries to do a demo on his laptop using the WiFi; WiFi wouldn't play; supplier's assistant has a copy of the demo on his tiny USB stick; assistant throws USB stick to his boss; USB stick goes in laptop; demo is fired up.

At this point I say to the assembled parties: "Amazing, isn't it? The data crystal is already with us."

Programme Manager: "Sorry? The what crystal?"

Me: "Data crystal. Like in Star Trek or Babylon 5."

Programme Manager: "What are you talking about?"

Me: "You know, like on the sci-fi films where there is the ship's blueprints and logs on a small device. A USB stick, yeah? Like a data crystal?"

<assembled silence>

Programme Manager: "Are you some sort of nerd?"

Me: "I'm an IT Project Manager. Of course I'm a nerd."

One of the client Project Managers mutters under his breath: "IT geek w**ker."

Programme Manager: "Can we please get on now...?"

That was the day I realised I wasn't going to get an extension...

Geek.

[BrilloPad]

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's
a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front
door, the girl's father answers and invites him in.

"Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he asks.

"That's cool," says Bobby.

Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby
replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop
or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out
and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks
Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie
really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately
revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie
comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that
she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby
escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes
back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at
her father: "DAMMIT, DADDY! THE TWIST!! IT'S CALLED THE
TWIST!!!"

[TheFaQQer]

Hi all

Hope everyone had a good christmas

Christmas was good, but I was ill.

Some kind of viral / bacterial infection, generally run down, plus a collection of ulcers on my tonsils and round my mouth (I counted 23 that I could see at the front of my mouth at one point).

So I couldn't drink, because it was too painful.

Apart from that it was good, though.

[BrilloPad]

"Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our
team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company
canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very
hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has
disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After
the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others:
"Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says:
"You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and
Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and
eat the cleaner!"

[TheFaQQer]

Afternoon all

Evening, Diver

Not lovin' the new avatar, it has to be said.

[TheFaQQer]

I'm single too (except for the husband baggage)

So, apart from being married, you're single?

[TheFaQQer]

Evening denizens

Evening, Nick

[BrowneIssue]

overflow error in /dev/null

That's what happens when nobody empties the spare parity bits and the carry bits from the bit bucket.