test please delete

[BrowneIssue]

AtW willl get it. He always does.

#57175





Well done!

[BrowneIssue]

I wasn't aware of your request before my departure, but I am happy to dedicate my second pint of Abbot to you

Marvellous! Ta muchly.

Hmm. 02:04 a.m. Not a bad lock-in!

[BrowneIssue]

My favourite was the radio station where the IT department said that I couldn't connect my MacBook to the network, as it was against their policy of only allowing equipment issued by their good selves to be connected.

That has been the policy at every site I have been on since 1995.

(I ignore them and do it anyway, where possible.)

[BrowneIssue]

Then one of the radio-side-chaps who, amongst other tasks, was a content manager for the web site of one of their flagship network shows found that they'd disabled the USB ports on his machine. They wouldn't re-enable them as they "constituted a security risk".

Applies to most sites I have been on since about 2001. Most recently ALL USB ports and all drives are disabled.

Pointless hindrances.

[BrowneIssue]

I think that particular IT department had lost sight of the purpose of their existence - to ensure that information technology operated in such a way as to assist people in easily achieving the purposes of the company.

Oh, NickFitz. You've made me piss myself.

[BrowneIssue]

Disabling people's USB ports contributes no value to the business whatsoever.

Losers.

It contributes to their self-importance.

It is because they are incompetent technically and because they do not understand how to do a risk assessment.

But then, given nobody is providing training any more, is it any surprise?

[BrowneIssue]

As I'm a web developer, it was rather obvious that ...

When I was a permie Senior Programmer, I was close to being sacked for writing a program.

The network numpties responsible for the IT department's departmental server finally heard about viruses (10 years after everyone else).

They implemented a virus detector on the server; if an executable changed, it took action.

They told nobody they have installed it.

Mid morning, I compile the program I'm working on. The server stopped responding.

A couple of hours later, the server comes back up. I compile my program and the server stopped responding.

A couple of hours later, the server comes back up.

I do a little rummaging about. (Should I have told the network numpties I had discreetly installed NetOp on 'their' departmental server so I could see what it was up to? Probably not.)

Next morning I phoned the network numpty manager (NNM):

Me: "I reckon the departmental server is going down in 10 seconds."

NNM: "Eh?"

Me: "I reckon the departmental server is going down in 5 seconds."

NNM: "No it isn't!"

I initiate the compilation...

Me: "I think you'll find it is down."

NNM: ""

[BrowneIssue]

They'd installed some noddy application (which means a Dr Solomon piece of daffodil software - all Dr Solomon software was gladioli) which, f it spotted an executable had changed ... HALTED THE PROCESSOR.

FFS.

[BrowneIssue]

A few hours later the network numpty manager phoned me to ask me what I had done.

I explained I - as per standing orders - kept my work on the server as opposed to C: and I had recompiled my program.

NNM: "Recompiled? What's that?"

Me: "Turned my source code into object code."

NNM: "Talk English. What did you do to my server?"

FFS.

Me: "I made a fresh .EXE and over-wrote the previous one."

NNM: "YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING .EXEs ON THE SERVER???"

Me: "Yes. I do it all the time."

NNM: "Have you never heard about software licensing, you idiot???"

Me: "Calm down, it's OK. I wrote the program."

And that was when all hell broke loose.

[BrowneIssue]

The network numpty manager went ballistic when I said I had been writing a program and put it on 'his' server.

NNM: "What the hell do you think you're doing hacking my server?"

Me: "I was writing a program."

NNM: "WHAT??? WHY?"

Me: "It's my job."

NNM: "Yeah, right. Microsoft writes programs, you people just run them."

Me: "What's my job title?"

NNM: "I dunno."

Me: "I am a Senior Programmer. What do you think a programmer in an IT department of 350 people does?"

NNM: "Installs programs?"

Me: "I write programs. I specify programs. I write specs and delegate them to lesser programmers for them to write."

When he realised I have actually been telling OTHER PEOPLE to write programs, he lost it.

He made a formal complaint through line management about my behaviour.