Originally posted by realityhack
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test please delete
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Bazza gets caught
Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."
CUK University Challenge Champions 2010 -
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I've just boxed up a timer out of the old UV machine that got taken to pieces earlier this year.
I'm going to use it to, wait for it, time exposures in some other UV light boxes.
They're not nearly as posh as the one that got scrapped, but take up a great deal less space.Comment
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Allo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
Senior Blagger with 7-10 years experience in hoodwinking middle management, London, to work with a lively team to ridiculous deadlines set by teflon stakeholders.
Must be able to talk convincingly at length on any given subject while suffering from bouts of acute apathy and a wandering imagination. Should be conversant with the latest Management BS vocabulary, and experienced in leading a team of Junior and Middleweight Blaggers through the thorny maze that is Office Politik.
Essential skills: Lightning-fast Alt-Tabbing; Sleeping with eyes open; Stealing all the best stationery; Appearing interested and awake during team meetings; Clock Watching; Answering questions with questions; Showing Junior staff that they'll retain knowledge better if they figure it out for themselves; Posting at length in CUK.
Advantaged candidates should be able to: Talk local IT staff into giving you full admin rights; Walk away from meetings with barely any action points; Apportion blame for almost anything to Microsoft and IBM; Sweeten relationships with the most important stakeholders in the business (The director's PA, the reception staff & IT support).
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?Comment
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Originally posted by realityhack View PostAllo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
Senior Blagger with 7-10 years experience in hoodwinking middle management, London, to work with a lively team to ridiculous deadlines set by teflon stakeholders.
Must be able to talk convincingly at length on any given subject while suffering from bouts of acute apathy and a wandering imagination. Should be conversant with the latest Management BS vocabulary, and experienced in leading a team of Junior and Middleweight Blaggers through the thorny maze that is Office Politik.
Essential skills: Lightning-fast Alt-Tabbing; Sleeping with eyes open; Stealing all the best stationery; Appearing interested and awake during team meetings; Clock Watching; Answering questions with questions; Showing Junior staff that they'll retain knowledge better if they figure it out for themselves; Posting at length in CUK.
Advantaged candidates should be able to: Talk local IT staff into giving you full admin rights; Walk away from meetings with barely any action points; Apportion blame for almost anything to Microsoft and IBM; Sweeten relationships with the most important stakeholders in the business (The director's PA, the reception staff & IT support).
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?Comment
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The assembled congregation will no doubt be unsurprised to learn that the afore mentioned t*w*lH**d student ain't, as yet, appeared.
Despite me arranging my hols to suit the git.
Bitter?
Moi?
Nah.
I just hope he comes in next week when I'm not here again...Comment
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Originally posted by realityhack View PostAllo peeps.
I have to write the job description for my replacement. I thought I'd make a start:
Senior Blagger Required.
.................................................. ......
Thoughts? Anything you think I've missed out?
Can I apply?It's Deja-vu all over again!Comment
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