• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

test please delete

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    bounce
    SA says;
    Well you looked so stylish I thought you batted for the other camp - thats like the ultimate compliment!

    I couldn't imagine you ever having a hair out of place!

    n5gooner is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
    (whatever these are)

    Comment


      is the transporter broken then?

      Comment


        Originally posted by DS23
        is the transporter broken then?

        yes captin, she's going to blow....
        SA says;
        Well you looked so stylish I thought you batted for the other camp - thats like the ultimate compliment!

        I couldn't imagine you ever having a hair out of place!

        n5gooner is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
        (whatever these are)

        Comment


          Cant stop . Bit busy down here Maureen !

          Beer Coat:
          The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
          at 3 in the morning. Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures
          your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too
          drunk to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've
          come from.

          BOBFOC:
          Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

          Bone of Contention:
          A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is
          watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

          Aussie Kiss:
          Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

          Breaking the Seal:
          Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
          breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
          required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

          Cider Visor:
          Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

          Cliterature:
          1-handed reading material.

          Cock-A-Doodle-Poo:
          The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in
          the morning to get to the toilet quick.

          Crappuccino:
          The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.

          Double Bass:
          A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and
          then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's
          Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing
          a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

          Etch-A-Sketch:
          Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her
          nipples simultaneously.

          Fizzy Gravy:
          or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.

          Flogging On:
          Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

          Free the Tadpoles:
          Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

          Frigmarole:
          Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

          Going For a Mctulip:
          Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
          just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,your
          declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mctulip
          With Lies.

          Greyhound
          A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

          Hand-to-Gland Combat:A vigorous masturbation session.

          Hefty Cleft:
          or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of a very large vagina.

          McSplurry:
          The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in
          fast food restaurants.

          Millennium Domes:
          The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
          the outside, but there's actually ****-all in there worth seeing.

          Monkey Bath:
          A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!
          Aa!Aa! Aa!"

          Mystery Bus:
          The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
          toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
          so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

          Mystery Taxi:
          The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
          up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
          your bed instead.

          NBR
          No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The
          opposite of a 10-Pinter.

          Picasso Arse:
          A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
          got 4 buttocks.

          Sperm Wail:
          or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

          Starfish Trooper:
          or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.

          10-Pinter:
          Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

          2-Bagger:
          Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their
          head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

          Titanic:
          A lady who goes down first time out.

          Wank Seance:
          During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being
          watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

          X-Piles:
          Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
          I don't know my arse from an hole in the ground

          Comment


            bye bye!!
            SA says;
            Well you looked so stylish I thought you batted for the other camp - thats like the ultimate compliment!

            I couldn't imagine you ever having a hair out of place!

            n5gooner is awarded +5 Xeno Geek Points.
            (whatever these are)

            Comment


              Originally posted by Clownio
              Wank Seance:
              During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being
              watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
              except i like to think it is envy rather than disgust.

              Comment


                oooo you mucky lot...

                ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

                Comment


                  morning. i'd like to stop and chat but i've got way too much work on.

                  Comment


                    I was out last night...

                    Comment


                      Too many pints of Fosters.....

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X