You’d think it was easy to have a quick Jimmy, wouldn’t you? But you’d be wrong! Oh so very wrong. It’s an event fraught with danger and risk. You enter the room and find that someone has unleashed the mother of stenches. You go quickly to the cubicle (urinals are suspicious devices!). But then someone else enters the room. What do you do? You can’t leave the anonymity of the cubicle as it will be assumed that you have been unloading depth charges and created the unholy pollution causing everyone to gag. So you have to wait until they leave. But then some other git enters, then another, and another. Before you know it, you’ve been trapped in the cubicle for an hour until you can finally escape without anyone noticing.
Ha ha, so you think that’s the end, don’t you!? Wrong again, fool! Now you return to your desk and have to start lying because colleagues want to know where you’ve been for the past hour. You can’t let them know you were in the toilet as they’d assume you either had a severe bowel disorder or had been happily fiddling with the little fella whilst flicking through copies of Bella. So you tell them that you popped downstairs to speak with the marketing director. Only your colleague has just ended a telephone conversation with the director and knows you are lying. Your credibility is shot. Colleagues shun you. Your wife leaves you taking the kids with her. The dog runs off and shop assistants refuse to serve you.
There is only one solution. Take an old milk bottle with you and never leave your desk. It’s a jungle out there.
Ha ha, so you think that’s the end, don’t you!? Wrong again, fool! Now you return to your desk and have to start lying because colleagues want to know where you’ve been for the past hour. You can’t let them know you were in the toilet as they’d assume you either had a severe bowel disorder or had been happily fiddling with the little fella whilst flicking through copies of Bella. So you tell them that you popped downstairs to speak with the marketing director. Only your colleague has just ended a telephone conversation with the director and knows you are lying. Your credibility is shot. Colleagues shun you. Your wife leaves you taking the kids with her. The dog runs off and shop assistants refuse to serve you.
There is only one solution. Take an old milk bottle with you and never leave your desk. It’s a jungle out there.
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