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I am off on holiday in a week

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    I am off on holiday in a week

    I intend to set my OOO. Anyone got any more to add to these :-

    (a) Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
    (b) Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
    (c) I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
    (d) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
    (e) I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
    (f) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged 5.99 for the first ten words and 1.99 for each additional word in your message.
    (g) The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
    (h) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
    (i) I've run away to join a different circus.
    (j) I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Steve'.

    #2
    Sorry I cannot answer your mail at this point but I am trying to avoid someone I really do not like. If I do not get back to you then it is obviously you!!!

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      #3
      I am on holiday for 2 weeks. I will empty my mail box on return so please resend your email after <insert date> if it was important.
      I am not qualified to give the above advice!

      The original point and click interface by
      Smith and Wesson.

      Step back, have a think and adjust my own own attitude from time to time

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