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Heather Mills

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    Heather Mills

    It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing
    divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg.

    Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

    News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife
    Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the
    split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I
    have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"

    "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all
    the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"

    After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going
    down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

    It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage.
    Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has
    been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

    Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been
    the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".

    Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause.
    "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night
    and find her legless"

    Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul
    bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas
    but that was just a stocking-filler.

    A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed,
    who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"

    These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left
    him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.