You've arrived home after a bit too much to drink and.....

[Kyajae]

your missus/girlfriend/bumbandit-friend accuses you of being pissed. How do you defend yourself against such a scurrilous accustation?

I try one of three;

1. Of course I'm only half pissed - I ran out of money
2. I'm not pissed, your hearing is slurred
3. I am not under the servere affluence of incerhol

None of then work!


Any examples of more effective responses?

[Captain Dispensable]

"but I'm not floppy [big grin, slowly undoing zip]"

Or

"of course I'm pissed, I'm ******* fuming, where's my ******* tea!"

Or

"I can see I haven't f***** all your brains out just yet. Shall we give it another go?"

Offence is the best defence.

[Buffoon]

Once I proposed to the then girl friend. Got me out of trouble of being pissed, but only cause load of more problems later.

Come to think of it, that was a bank holiday weekend too. Don’t remember which one.