The Story Thread.... (move it to light later)

[sasguru]

Yes. Barry the Beaver was Sally Anne's unique selling point. Little did her punters know what she really meant with her marketing slogan "Get your beaver now!". Johnny was about to find out ....

[bogeyman]

Johnny shuddered as Barry stood on his hind legs, wiskers bristling, and yelled:

"You want a little bit of BEAVER eh?"

"Do you want some F***ING BEAVER Johnny? "

"Yeah! JOHNNY, YOU PONCE, I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Barry the Beaver was the boss of a radical possy of beavers who had long since grown tired of how their once proud name was abused and derided by lonely males seeking sexual pleasure of the lowest sort. Enraged by years of double-entendres, Barry and his gang had set out to restore beaver honour at all costs, and with ruthless violence if need be.

Realising that they were unable to carry out their operations in the human world alone, Barry's gang had groomed a cheap northern hooker named Sally to help them achieve their ruthless ends.

As Barry stared balefully in to his eyes, Johnny realised that things were not looking good for him. Not good at all.

Pathetically, Johnny squeeked: "I don't ALWAYS call it a 'beaver' - sometimes I call it a 'quim'".

Barry's eyes glazed, his wiskers twitched, and he lunged at Johnny's throat...

[MarillionFan]

Johnny closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Sharp teeth, fetid breath and beaver hair around his throat and mouth. The unmistakeable smell of Chicken Korma filled the air in the mayhem he could see Sally Anne using her savaloy shaped fingers to shovel fist after fist of steaming hot korma into her gaping maw.

"I'm a gonna" his brain screamed and he pulled at his hands hard. They came loose, thank god they came loose. The beaver unshaven was chaffing his face.

Johnny grabbed the beaver by the throat. 'What the.' the beaver rasped and then Johnny punched him hard, once, twice, three times using his fist. A damn good fisting. The beaver fell exhausted to the floor.

Sally never budged, to engrossed in her typing a message to a poster called AtW.

Johnny removed the binding from his feet and slid slowly from the gurney, giving the beaver a kick.

Picking up a chair he moved across the room, angrily swinging around Sally Annes chair he screamed 'HHHHEEEEERRRRREEEEESSSSS JOHNNY!!!!'....

[Joe Black]

...but little Johnny refused to rise to the occasion. Instead, in his place, was only little Dick.

[The Lone Gunman]

At that moment Sally turned from the screen.

Oh my god look at the size of those hooters! His mind in an instant stopped whatever it was doing and started thinking "soapy tit wank"

[monkeyboy]

Little dick was Jonny's partner, in the serviced. There job was to infiltrate the radical beaver clerics gang.

[SallyAnne]

This had happenned to Johnny many times in his life - his mind was willing, but his manhood wasn't.
Sally, however, was very used to this. Being a professional in her field, she had many a trick up her sleeve to leave her gentlemen "friends" very satisfied, no matter how penisly challenged they were.

With an appetite for sexual mischief as strong as her appetite for food, Sally grabbed hold of Johnny's arse and pulled him so close to her naked, hair free....

"AAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

The high pitched scream that came from the flat directly above Johnny's made them freeze with terror! It was a scream like no other....it could only mean one thing - the Lone Gunman had struck again! Another murder

[The Lone Gunman]

I prefer not to think of it as murder, I am in the field of garbage disposal, the definition of garbage and disposal is defined by the contract. This was a particularly messy definition.

[Swamp Thing]

“At last”, muttered the Lone Gunman to himself. “The 'disposal' of Chico;that should raise my, ahem, contract rate handsomely, MWAAARHAHAHAHA!!!!”

[MarillionFan]

Meanwhile across town, Captain Scotspine adjusted his sporran.

'Tis a braw brick nicht tonicht' he said out loud to no-one in particular
'Tis trouble's a brewing'.

Scotspine gazed out the through the administrators window, his breath misting the pain. Rain drizzled down the outside and the lights from the city sparkled against the window.

His thoughts drifted. He could see her now, insatiable hunger, strong, powerful. He felt a yearning in his loins, one he couldnt understand.

But he was half the man he was a year ago. He'd been taken by surprise by Ex-Contract, now high class hooker Sally Anne.

It started as a routine piece of work. Racist, homophobia, trolls he knew them all, but she had been seen around town. First came the reports, then finally he met her himself. Trawling the back alleys for wrong doers he noticed a hunched figure behind the bins of a local chinese takeaway. Load noises emanated from the figure and Scotspine had shone his torch in that direction. Like lightening the hunched figure dropped the remaining Spring roll and leapt, spotting an all together more appetising meal.

Scotspine had wished he hadnt worn his kilt that day. It was cold, wet and windy. The wind had caught him at the exact moment he had shone his torch and the hunched figure had spotted something much more appealing.

Scotspine winced as he remembered. Once a proud quarter pounder, it was little more than a 2oz'er now.